The worst jokes on the planet

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Postby morris mouse » Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:06 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Well done "Kacie"
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Postby Moose » Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:42 am

morris mouse wrote:What does a bee chew???

Bumble gum!!!!!!!!
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Postby brfc » Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:35 am

went round to a freinds the other day to find a aircraft had crashed into her bedroom. she said yeh when i went too sleep i left the LANDING LIGHT ON! :D
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Postby pink stripes » Sun Aug 26, 2007 7:18 pm

lol these jokes are soooo ummm.... I wana say kinda funni

:D

Actually most of them mae me laugh or at least made me smiley :D

x..x..x
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Postby brfc » Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:12 pm

when is a car not a car?


when it turns into a garage :lol:
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Postby brfc » Mon Aug 27, 2007 8:15 pm

why do eskimos wash in tide

because its too cold out tide :lol:
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Postby morris mouse » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:55 pm

brfc wrote:why do eskimos wash in tide
because its too cold out tide :lol:


lol "brfc" :) :) :) :)
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Postby Weasley » Fri Sep 07, 2007 4:55 pm

Q. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A. You're too young to smoke!


I think I got that one from a lollipop stick years ago!
xxx :)
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Postby kathy6 » Fri Sep 07, 2007 10:59 pm

sorry its a bit long but some of these are really funny:

Billy Connolly Classics .......

Things I hate about everybody....

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?".
No, plonker, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
> > > >
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus
come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, plonker?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'.
So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a
McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you McPlonker.

edited by peecee for swearing - even Billy C wouldn't get away with it on PP! :)
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Postby Weasley » Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:15 am

Q. What do you call a lady playing pool balancing a pint of beer on her head?

A. Beatrix Potter!


That was awful I know!!!!
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Postby brfc » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:02 am

theres been a theft at euro disney. the person was charged with taking the mickey :lol:
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Postby brfc » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:03 am

whats white furry and smells of mint.

a polo bear :lol:
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Postby brfc » Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:45 pm

i hear chelsea are bringing out a new aftershave its by U GO BOSS :D
Last edited by brfc on Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby brfc » Tue Oct 09, 2007 11:17 am

a bloke went for a interview as a handy man.

interviewer ) can you do gardening

bloke) ah no not really

interviwer) ok do you do electrics?

bloke) hmmm well no not really

interviwer) ok what about plumbing

bloke) no no dont know anythng about that.

interviwer) can i ask what makes you so handy

bloke) i live around the corner

:D
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Postby pink stripes » Tue Oct 09, 2007 12:45 pm

hehe the last couple of jokes made me giggle :D

--x
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