Is My Sis Being 'Off' With Me???

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Is My Sis Being 'Off' With Me???

Postby kissy-lips » Wed Aug 09, 2006 12:52 am

Me and my sister have always been close even though she quite a bit older than me and lives an hour away. Although recently she doesnt seem to keep in touch or even care about me anymore.

She split up with her husband at christmas and I've always told her that if she needed to talk to me or whatever then I'd be glad to listen and try and help. But all shes done is borrow 200 quid off me in January, promising to pay me back and she hasnt mentioned it since.

She never replies to my texts asking how she is unless it suits her. She always has credit because her new fella pays for it so thats no excuse. She never rings me anymore to chat. She hasnt been over to see me for months.

Last weekend her daughter came over to stay and we decided to go clubbing with my sis (her mum) and her mums mates. My sister didnt say more than hello to me all night, except for this incident which has really hissed me off.
I was standing with them all on the dancefloor and this guy came up to me, grabbed my ass and put his hand on my hip. I took his hand off my hip and told him to go away. He kept trying to apologise but I was annoyed and just told him to go away. I wasnt being horrible but maybe I was being over the top but she knows I do not like men touching me because of my past.
When he left she said 'Stop it now' with a look on her face that made me feel like I was in the wrong for not wanting his unwanted attention. She was giving me exsasperated looks all night, like she didnt want me there and I was relieved when the night was over.

I really do not know what her problem is with me. Iv not changed the way I interact with her or anything. But after what happened the other night I feel really angry with her and to be honest I cant be bothered trying anymore.

What would you do? Should I just leave it or let her know how I feel? And do you think that I was in the wrong the other night?
I'm A Laydee - I Like To 'Do' Laydees
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Postby Ametyl » Wed Aug 09, 2006 2:13 pm

You've done nothing wrong. You have helped her countless times, and have given so much to her. The next move should come from her not you, why should you keep giving and waiting around for her if she's not prepared to grow the hell up and realise what a great sister she has? I suggest sitting her down in a neutral situation as one last chance to resolve the situation. You can't keep doing what you're doing you will only get more stressed and upset with her. My brother is 19, and I'm 17, and he only ever comes to me when he wants something and he's a nasty lil poo the rest of the time. And I mean REALLY nasty. He was a monster to me when I was little and sexually abused me. I have helped him out countless times when he's asked for it cos i feel guilty when I dont because he is my brother. But I have given up on him this time. Maybe in a few years he will grow up and realise what he's done. Siblings are a pain in the @rse at the end of the day though :P

I wish you all the best of luck, hope you sort things out.
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Postby misskrystal » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:03 pm

It sounds like your sister may be going through a rough patch in her life at the moment, because from what you say, it seems that this is a recent change. Going through a divorce must be very stressful and it seems like she's just treating you a little badly, with your relationship taking a back seat to everything else.

I'd talk to her, explaining how you feel, but also letting her know that you understand what she's going through. She may seem OK on the outside, but she could be a mess on the inside. If she still doesn't change her behaviour, you may have to accept that the changes in her life are having changes on her personality too. You don't deserve to be treated badly by your sister and you can only make so many allowances for her behaviour, so let her know that, until she treats you with respect, you won't be spending any more time with her.
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Postby morris mouse » Sun Aug 13, 2006 12:59 am

misskrystal wrote:If she still doesn't change her behaviour, you may have to accept that the changes in her life are having changes on her personality too. You don't deserve to be treated badly by your sister and you can only make so many allowances for her behaviour, so let her know that, until she treats you with respect, you won't be spending any more time with her.


Hi,"Kissy-lips"

It's really sad when siblings don't get on with each other.
It has been said "lend a friend and you loose a friend" and,sadly[re:letting her borrow £200] you have found this to be very true

Also,as "misskrystal" has said,sadly,due to changes in her life,that has
also changed her too.

Sadly,because she has treated you so badly,you now need to "protect"
yourself from anymore hurt from her,to you. :(

If this does't improve,this may mean,that,you'll have to tell your sister
[which I know will not be easy] that you will need to keep a "Safe distance" from her. :cry:
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