running away this saturday

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Should I run away?

Yes, no matter what your girlfriend says
2
9%
Yes, but only if your girlfriend will come with you
0
No votes
No, it'll only make things worse
20
91%
Don't Know
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 22

running away this saturday

Postby evanescence_x » Thu Oct 12, 2006 5:08 pm

I am considering running away this Saturday. Actually my mind is pretty set on it. I hate where I live, I feel like my friends don't like me, and everywhere I go I'm scared I'm going to bump into the same guy that raped me. So I really feel like I have to go. Thing is my girlfriend won't come with me. And she keeps crying thinking about me being out on my own, and that makes me feel really guilty.

She said she would before and now she's changed her mind. I fully understand why she would not want to come, but now she's saying that she'll tell everyone where I'm going if I do go. If I decide to go, I don't neccessarily mean on a permanent basis, it would just be for a month or so, to straighten out my mind, and get back in control of my life. But maybe I'd consider staying there permanently if it felt right.

I love my girlfriend more than anything and I hate everyday without her, so I don't know how I'll cope for a month, so I don't know if I should stay, and worry about meeting the guy again, or go and leave behind the best thing in my life?

I feel like I come across as being selfish in this message, but I don't really know how else to word it.

I would die if she left me.

So I really don't know how to handle the situation, and I'd really appreciate your thoughts on what I should do.

- Charlotte
xxx
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Postby PurePurple » Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:50 pm

Woah Woah Woah, Wait a second..

Just because you don't like where you live doesn't mean you have to run away..

-For starters do the police even know you got raped?!
-What would your family think?
- Your girlfriend is obviously upset..

I would seriously consider some of these things
Last edited by PurePurple on Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Moose » Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:15 pm

Purple has raised some extremely valid points. From reading your other posts it does sound like you've been through a lot, and you need some support from a sensible adult. You mentioned that only your girlfriend knows that you've been raped - do you think you might feel able to tell someone else with her support? As Purple said, your girlfriend sounds worried sick, and rightly so - how would you feel if she said she was going to run away on her own for a month?

Do you know where you would be going? And do you really believe that, at 14, you'll be able to go away for a month to sort your head, and when you get back it will all be okay? You shouldn't be going through this on your own. Even if you have to tell a teacher that you trust or a parent or a friend's parent or even a Connexions advisor - that will help you.

Someone else needs to know what this guy did to you, then it will be him going away, not you. That won't be easy for you, but with your girlfriend's suport you'll get through it. You mentioned in another post that something similar happened to your girlfriend: maybe sorting your life out will encourage her to do the same.

But don't run away on your own. It absolutely will not solve your problems, but there are other things you can do that will solve them.
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Postby Heavenly_Hailey » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:38 pm

Hey sweetie, i have to say that i don't think running is the answer here.
I have to agree with Moose and Purple that it is best to take an adult into your confidence. It doesn't have to be your parents, i know how hard it can be to talk to them. Just someone you can trust, anyone that you feel comfortable with. It sounds like the rape plays on your mind quite a lot and thats understandable but its important that you deal with it, otherwise unfortunately it wont go away by itself and is obviously affecting you.

Bumping into the person that attacked you is an emotional time and its important to talk about your feelings. maybe by talking to a professional will help you to deal with these feelings and in time it will become a less painful experience. im not saying that it will ever go away but you will be able to handle the situation and you will be the one in control, not him.

It seems your girlfriend loves you lots and doesnt want you to go. your problems will still be waiting for you when you get back, if you leave your parents will want to know why you left and ask awkward questions that you probably dont want to answer.
I hope you find the answer you are looking for.
Hailey
xx
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Postby Hurting angel » Tue Nov 14, 2006 7:23 pm

I know running away seems like the only way our right now but trsut me running away from everything will only make it worse. We all have to come back at some point and if we have not sorted out the causes of our preoblems and made them better then everything will still be the same. If you run away you will not have the support of your amazing girlfriend and i assure you you will feel more lonely. Maybe you should clear your head by going for long walks and just having abit of alone time to figure things out in your head. That way you wont have to run away you can just face up to everything and be much happier for it. Goodluck to you and your girlfriend.xxx
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Postby LostGirl » Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:23 am

What do you mean by running away. Taking off on your own and not telling anyone would be a bad idea and could make things a lot worse for you. However if you have a friend or relative in another part of the country you could stay with maybe that will help you sort things out.
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Postby Brighter » Thu Feb 15, 2007 6:43 pm

Running away may seem like a good idea now, but it isn't as soon as you've left, you'll want to go back home.

Your girlfriend obviously cares about you
And forcing her to choose between you and her life is not right.

I know it's hard to face going out in a place you once trusted (until you were raped) but you need to try, surely counciling may help?

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Postby LME79 » Sun Feb 18, 2007 12:30 pm

Please note that this topic was started back in October 2006.
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Postby LostGirl » Tue Feb 20, 2007 9:15 am

Doh! Silly me
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