why is he with me?

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why is he with me?

Postby Lost... » Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:10 pm

So here's the story, I have been with my boyfriend for just over a month now, and it seems to be sex sex sex all the time. I mean i'm not complaining but i'm beginning to think its the only reason he wants to be with me. We haven't had sex yet, but it seems to be the only thing he has on his mind. I feel like it's not so much a relationship for him, and i fear he is just using me for inevitable sex. He is really sweet to me and treats me well but i've lost the ability to tell wether or not he is a fake. His friends tell me things - like he only wants sex - and i'm not sure if they're just winding me up, or warning me. i guess i'm just looking for some tips and advice on how to tell if he wants to be with me or my body. :-?

please comment xXx
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Postby Wild Sage » Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:50 pm

a few eays hints. does he look directly into your eyes when he talks to you, if he does he wants you for your personality.

if he is very touchyfeely without any conversations and you find you dont know as much about him as you want hes probably useing you.

if he is content to sit there for hours with you in his arms eg laying on the bed, he needs you for the comfort and connection that he feels when he is around you.

these arnt fixed in stone though they can be bent and lads can be a mixture of all all of the time. but they are rough guidelines. remembere if he does one of these things its not definate proof just an indecation.

good luck
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Postby crazy_in_love » Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:33 pm

hey, you dnt say how old you are, but if you are quite young maybe its jst his hormones. boys r horny little things (actually it dnt mater the age!!). Anyway the fact that youve been together over a month with no sex and hes still around should say something to you. If he just wanted sex would he really stick around for that long?
I think you should have a chat with him, he may not realise the way he is acting and he may also not realise what his friends are saying!

If you want to test him, just make him wait a bit longer!!
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new developements

Postby Lost... » Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:26 pm

this pretty much proves he's using me but i don't want to believe it!!

one of his good mates "let it slip" to my best friend that he said something to the effect of; he only got with me because he thinks i'm easy but he happens to like me aswell :( :-?

Let's just say i've made mistakes in the past but i'm not a slut. I really like this guy but argh he's confusing!!!!!!!

PLEASE help!

xXx
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Postby chosenfew » Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:02 pm

dont go with him. i think he is wanting to use you if thats what his mates are telling you. call it a day with him [-X
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Postby crazy_in_love » Sat Dec 23, 2006 12:37 am

Now you said that, i agree, leave him, he is obviously only with u for 1 reason!!

Be glad you found this out when you did, im sure you can find someone who want to be with you for more than just sex.
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Postby Liquidius » Sat Dec 23, 2006 1:23 am

Hmm...odd. Obviously you've proved him wrong about being easy!

I would say just leave him. Not matter how much you like him, you can do much better.
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Postby morris mouse » Sat Dec 23, 2006 4:16 am

Lost... wrote:One of his good mates "let it slip" to my best friend that he said something to the effect of; he only got with me because he thinks i'm easy but he happens to like me as well


"Lost"

I'm so very sorry that this has happened to you. :cry:

To hear what you heard from his friends,must have been a real blow
to you!!!

The fact that this boy thinks,that,he could only get with you,because
he thinks you're easy, ruins your integrity :(

You're NOT easy!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can he happen to like you,when he treats you like this??
The only solution,to all of this,is,that he wants to use you :o :o
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confusion...

Postby Lost... » Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:48 pm

i confronted him about it all. and he got genuinely upset and angry. he said he is upset and hurt that i believed he would say something like that. i don't know what to do know he forgave me, but he was staying with his dad over christmas so i haven't heard from him...he got back today and he's at a friends house with all the lads just now. I really like him - i can't end it!!!!!!! :( :( :(

advice...please?
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Postby morris mouse » Fri Dec 29, 2006 1:14 am

Lost... wrote:He was staying with his dad over christmas so i haven't heard from him...he got back today and he's at a friends house with all the lads just now.


"Lost"

I really do feel for you,just now. My heart goes out to you.

From what I read of your post,it's obvious that your boyfriend has moved
on without you :( :(

I say this,as,he didn't consider you at Christmas,and now, he's at a friends house with all the lads.

I hope that the future will be better for you :)
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Re: confusion...

Postby Liquidius » Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:08 pm

Lost... wrote:i confronted him about it all. and he got genuinely upset and angry. he said he is upset and hurt that i believed he would say something like that. i don't know what to do know he forgave me, but he was staying with his dad over christmas so i haven't heard from him...he got back today and he's at a friends house with all the lads just now. I really like him - i can't end it!!!!!!! :( :( :(

advice...please?


I disagree with Morris_Mouse (sorry!). You know, on second thought, perhaps it was just a misunderstanding between you both. He might just have a high sex drive, where as yours isn't so high, so it seemed like a lot of sex. I don't think he would have bothered being upset, or angry, if it was just sex.

I think he's spending time with the lads now because you upset him, and he's looking for something to take his mind off of it. I would give him some space, and see what happens. It sounds like you two really need to talk about what you both want, and where this relationship is going, if anywhere.
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Postby peecee » Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:30 pm

I agree with Liquidius on this one. Whether or not he said anything to his mates, that's the way young men are (PP boys, where are you when we need you to slap us down or tell us we're right! :o )

They behave differently with their mates to the way they behave with their girls. Centuries ago, my VERY repressed boyfriend said something to me on the phone, in front of his friend, that he would never have said to me on his own. I found it very offensive, but I KNEW he was just trying to impress his mate, so I ignored it, and it turned out ok.

When you see him, be calm about it but, as Liquidius says, talk to him if you can. It's not easy to talk about emotional stuff, but just think - you could be a civilising influence on him! :D

It really does look as if you two have a strong bond, I hope you can both make something of it.

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Postby sunwukong » Sun Jan 21, 2007 2:30 am

if he loves you he will wait for you. as long as you don't do it you are in control!!
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