Moving Out Age?

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Moving Out Age?

Postby Pipni » Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:53 pm

Hi

I'm 15, and right now I feel I really need to get out of this house. My mum is always controlling me, and being so old fashioned - what I eat, how much I eat (yells at me to eat more than a substansial amount), she doesn't approve of my friends because they a) have long hair and b) are louder than me. So this year, I haven't had any friends over, I've always had to go out and feel guily when they invite me over to theirs. She's even told me not to "consort" with girls?!?!

If I try and stand up for myself, she starts screaming at me about how I'm "defying her" and its under "her roof, her rules". The last time I wouldn't try some scampi ( I have issues trying new foods - long story) she went mental, reduced me to tears and when my dad tried to back me up, they had a massive argument. And mum blames the argument on me!

I know at 15 I can't move out, and as the oldest sibling, and a small family, there's nowhere I can stay with, and I'm into my GCSE now. Someone told me the legal age to move out is 16, some say it's 18. I'll have no problem finding a roomate then, and I get my national insurance number, so I can have a better chance at finding a job (no shops, cafes, restaurants or newagents will take me at the moment, because I'm not 16 until Sept 08 :( )

Bottom line: Can anyone tell me what the moving out age is, and is there any restrictions? I know this is really early days, but I'd like to get some informationa and start looking for a way out ASAP
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Postby Sharp » Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:22 pm

According to; askthe.police.uk/content/Q555.htm

There is no legal age, but you have to show you are capable to supporting yourslef financially, and should be ok to leave at 16, but if you are between 16 and 18, your parents could get a order to force you to return home.

Go onto that site, it will help you a bit more than i can...
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Postby snail » Sun Dec 09, 2007 4:42 pm

It also sounds like your Mum may have a few problems of her own, which is perhaps making her a bit less patient. Remember she has a lot of other things to worry about as well as you - your brothers/sisters, her marriage, her finances, possibly her job. She tries to control you and dictate to you because she feels she knows what's best for you. You're at a difficult age and she probably worries a lot about how you'll turn out, and if you'll get yourself into any kind of trouble. It's more important to her that you are safe and healthy than that you like her, so she doesn't make much effort to put things nicely.

Don't try to 'stand up for yourself' - this is a confrontational way to look at it. She's being a bit short-tempered, not actually attacking you. Try to gently reason with her, e.g. "Why does having long hair automatically make someone a bad person? Everybody has different hair." Be very calm and stick to the facts (no matter what). Ask yourself if she might be right about some things - she is a lot more experienced than you, and knows more about almost everything. Remember we all go through this with our parents. Be glad that she cares about you, even if it doesn't feel like it!

Moving out will free you from these problems, but you will have a whole set of new ones. It isn't really an easier option, as you will have to struggle with paying bills and worrying about money, as well as shopping, cooking and washing. Wherever you find to live will probably not be as nice as the family home you now have. By all means start thinking about it, but remember there will be problems in any situation, you just have to learn to handle them as best you can.
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