Friends getting involved

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Friends getting involved

Postby hana.15 » Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:35 pm

I had Sex almost a week ago now.. with my boyfriend and it was great.

thing is i am gd mates with his sister, and she feels as if we are drifting apart because she claims i am spending more time with my boyfriend than her. She Feels as tho she is losing me, which i no she is not. I dont want to lie to her, but i cant be honest with her. I want to tell her that i have had sex, because she is my best friend and she would be mad at me if i dont tell her, but she would have a go at me if i did tell her, so really i cant win.

when i go to there house sometimes its really awkward because i have gone to see my boyfriend and my mate tries to steal me away from him, and i find it hard to say no. We had a bit of a row in cardiff the other day, because me and my boyfriend went to cardiff and we never invited her, i told her that we wanted to spend time together because when ever i see him there is normally other people around, except for when we go to bed. She then had a go at me saying we always spend time together like he sleeps over my house all the time. When actually we have been together a month and he has slept over twice.

Im worried because i dont want to lose her as a friend, but i dont want to lose my boyfriend either because i love him. But i dont want to miss any of them out.

I have tried to share myself between them at the same time before but my friend dont like seeing us kissing which is fair enough but she is always there and then complains. She says that if we want to do stuff to go upstairs which we normally do, but then she complains that im spending more time with him.

Its a knew relationship, and we want to spend time together because we love each other. and we want to explore each other and get to know each others bodies, but we cant do that when my friend is hanging around all the time.

I understand that she may be feeling left out and lonely at the momment, but when i have asked her to stay over my house she never says yes. Although she is suffering at the momment from agraphobia. But she cant share me, Its like a toddler fighting over a toy, and when she cant get it she gets angry.

i have tried sharing myself, but My friend dont like going out much, so when we do spend time together its normally in her house where my boyfriend is, unless he has gone out..

When i dont see him, i miss him like mad... and i need him around, i dont want to hurt him, i love him, but i dont want to lose her either....

PLEASE HELP BEFORE I DO SOMETHING REALLY BAD
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Re: Friends getting involved

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri May 01, 2009 8:25 am

Make one dedicated day for your friend and tell your bf he can't see you, tell him you need a girly day and then do the same with your friend. They are going to have to just learn to live with the situation.
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Re: Friends getting involved

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri May 01, 2009 8:27 am

hana.15 wrote: I want to tell her that i have had sex, because she is my best friend and she would be mad at me if i dont tell her, but she would have a go at me if i did tell her, so really i cant win.


If your boyfriend was just a friend I'd say tell her, however if you tell her you slept with her brother I think she'll be upset and grossed out.
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Re: Friends getting involved

Postby Bel Bel » Fri May 01, 2009 9:26 am

yes best not tell your friend yet, wait til you have been together longer

also i agree that you should have a set day at the weekend and one night in the week (at least) when it's you and your friend. tell her thats your plan and if you were with any other boy she wouldn't see you the other nights as you would be with him so she has to learn to accept you will be with your b/f on the other nights
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Re: Friends getting involved

Postby snail » Fri May 01, 2009 9:49 am

I agree about not telling her. I'm sure your boyfriend wouldn't want his sister knowing all about his sex life, and she probably wouldn't want to know either. Keep it between your boyfriend and you at the moment.

I also agree about having set days for her, and set days for your boyfriend. Perhaps when you see him you could go somewhere else than his house, as she will always be there otherwise.
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Re: Friends getting involved

Postby kerrie24 » Fri May 01, 2009 3:18 pm

Yeah I agree, although I dont think you need to see him out of the house just say to her that when its 'her' days, she wont expect him to be hanging around and so its the same when its your days with him.Encourage her to hang out with other friends the rest of the week.You need to spend time on your relationship its new of course you want to spend time together.
Dont tell her about sleeping together ,it will be weird for her brother,she will probably realise soon enough and hopefully be mature about it.My brother goes out with my friend and its not a problem.
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