favourite daughter

For any problem to do with being 16 or under.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

should we say something to her?

yes
19
90%
no
1
5%
no - just ignore her
1
5%
 
Total votes : 21

favourite daughter

Postby Ciara » Thu Sep 04, 2003 12:27 am

My sister moved out about a year ago, but the onli time we ever see her is when she wants some money. She never pays it back and my parents just let her get away with it. she owes about £14,000 now, and she onli 22! It really annoys me cos she just ignores all of our birthdays, mothers day, fathers day and even christmas presents but always demands expensive presents. My parents pay for everything - flat, car, petrol, food, clothes, holidays etc, even tho she has a good job and can afford it. Also it means that me and my other 2 sisters dont get pocket money and we never get flash stuff like sophie. Not onli r we jealous of her cos we think she gets treated like royalty, we're upset cos its like she doesnt even care about us anymore. :(
User avatar
Ciara
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 3:36 pm
Location: England, UK

Postby sovs » Thu Sep 04, 2003 1:39 am

WOW your sister sounds completely self centered.

Im disgust there are people like this in the world that only care for their own well being.
I guess at least you have the satisfaction of knowing your a decent person.
Have you and your other sisters talked to your parents about this?
I suppose you could speak to your sister, as lets face it there isnt really a relationship there to be broken with disagreements.
Its always tricky when its family members.

Hope that helps a bit

Sovs :wink:
User avatar
sovs
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1590
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2003 2:10 am

Postby X_Smiler_X » Thu Sep 04, 2003 11:40 am

I think you and your family need to sit down with your sister and have a serious chat about this. I dont think this should be happening, she sounds, as sovs said, very self centered.

I dont really know what else to say, except talk to her, and get your feelings across.

Much love
Kxx
Smile at life, and life will smile back at you.
User avatar
X_Smiler_X
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1279
Joined: Sun Mar 16, 2003 4:47 pm
Location: South East England

Postby Sazza » Sun Jan 16, 2005 5:56 pm

Your sister cant keep living like that..one day she will have to do it herself and it might be too much, maybe your parents could start talking to her and telling her to stop overspending..she needs to realise that she cant live that way forever.
Sazza
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:38 pm

Postby SugarRainbows » Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:21 pm

It could be that she just doesnt realise its upsetting you? You really should ask her about why shes doing it and go from there, see what she says. It maybe that she doesnt think your parents mind giving her the money and so she doesnt really think shes taking advantage. You should ask your parents to have a word with her, maybe tell her that they are worried about her using all the money and are willing to support her but she cant carry on this way? Hope everything goes well :) keep us posted
User avatar
SugarRainbows
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 529
Joined: Fri Jan 14, 2005 10:55 pm

Postby saz » Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:31 pm

do you know that this situation is way more common than people realise? Not only did it happen with my sister and i when i left and she stayed at home, my partners sister is in the same situation currently.

I am not always sure of why this happens. To be totally honest, surely the problem is not so much lying with your sister than your parents. They are the ones giving and handing out. Perhaps she has financial difficulties you are unaware of, or they feel sorry for her, want to help or are actually still trying to 'control' her and keep control of her life, what she does in it.

The biggest issue i see is that she has left - but she isn't independent at all. She is still relying on them heavily, and your parents would actually be doing her a massive favour leaving her to learn that life isn't easy without handouts.

I also think that your sister is unlikely to actually see what is happening. Perhaps you should approach your parents with your concerns, and say that you do feel it is unfair, seen as she is working and supposedly left home. Your parents control the money, and yes i think you should also talk to her about why she doesn't bother with you much. I can sort of answer that though. A 22 year old may seem very sophisticated and grown up, and mature, but in fact it could be that your sister isn't and part of her immaturity is not being able to see when she is hurting and neglecting people, not caring about them and just focusing on herself. It does sound like she cares a great deal about her own life, and not what impact it has on others. Pointing this out is going to hurt her feelings, but it is a good thing because like you say, you are feeling very jealous and resentful. Good luck.
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby BlueRayman » Mon Jan 17, 2005 3:32 pm

Personally I wouldn't say anything to her, your dads the "weakest" when it comes to is little girls.

How old are you by the way?
Anyway just ask your dad why shes his favorite (of cause shes not, but it'll make him think) cause she get all this stuff and cash and you don't.

Do it in a very "girly" way you know what i mean. He might not give you an honest answer, by that i mean you may not know the whole picture. But it will make him think about it.

---Ray
It takes more than a bullet to stop fate.
User avatar
BlueRayman
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 266
Joined: Fri Dec 17, 2004 11:29 am
Location: Isle Of Lewis

Postby kathy6 » Thu Jan 20, 2005 9:12 pm

oh talk about sounding similar my sister is the very same!
Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to
kathy6
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 145
Joined: Thu Dec 16, 2004 10:53 pm
Location: england

Postby oO_Lisa_Oo » Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:40 am

tell your parents
oO_Lisa_Oo
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2005 10:44 am
Location: England

Postby arwen » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:16 pm

This is just like my sister also! I tried making myself heard about it but they all used to "gang up" and shout me down. She hasn't changed and is still sponging off my folks (she's older than me) but I've moved out, set up my own business, bought a house and a car and am totally independent.
It's taken until the age of 23 (almost) for them to realise who is the decent hardworking person out of the two of us, but they do now at least acknowledge that I'm the independent one.
Try and take comfort in the fact that YOU will come off much better at the end of the day, you'll be independent and will understand the value of money and working hard for the things you want in life. She will probably always be a scrounger and there's not a lot you can do to change someone like that.
User avatar
arwen
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1037
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:08 pm
Location: welsh mountains

Postby Llisa » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:41 pm

Reminder to users that this original post is dated a year and a half ago...issue is likely resolved.
HE has all the answers

The wait for that perfect someone may be long and painful, but the payoff lasts even longer, and is the most painless thing in the world.
User avatar
Llisa
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1509
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2003 6:01 am
Location: Right Here

Postby brfc » Thu May 05, 2005 3:40 pm

at the end of the day its up to your parents how much they bale your sister out. but have a word with them about how much you get. say we dont think we are being treated fairly. they should give you some pocket money you shouldnt have to put up with all there money going to your sis and you not getting anything. sure your sister will come crashing back down to earth when your parents money tree runs dry!
brfc
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1901
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:35 pm
Location: BATH
Gender: Male

Postby arwen » Thu May 05, 2005 4:53 pm

Llisa wrote:Reminder to users that this original post is dated a year and a half ago...issue is likely resolved.
User avatar
arwen
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1037
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:08 pm
Location: welsh mountains

Postby LME79 » Thu May 05, 2005 6:19 pm

Thanks Arwen :)
I want to be..a tree..
User avatar
LME79
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 1926
Joined: Sat Dec 18, 2004 9:44 pm
Location: The edge of reason
Gender: Female

Postby brfc » Sat May 07, 2005 10:36 am

oops sorry half asleep thanks peeps. :lol:
brfc
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1901
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:35 pm
Location: BATH
Gender: Male


Return to Under 16s

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron