Please help

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Please help

Postby Emmy » Tue Apr 20, 2004 2:32 am

Hi, My name is Emmy and I'm new.

I have a lot of problems right now and I'm just not sure who to turn to. Some are silly little things and some are big ones, but at the moment all of them just make my life miserable.

I'm sixteen years old, a short, size sixteen, acne ridden girl btw.

I started a new school in year nine, i was a really shy person before i went, but a bunch of girls let me hang around with them. after a while they started being mean to me, if i didn't hang around with them they would make sure no-one would talk to me and they spread nasty rumours, but if i did they left me out and made it clear that i wasn't welcome. i eventually had a nervous breakdown and was removed from school. Then i was sent to another school where i became so shy that i couldn't speak or make friends. I had to repeat year ten. It got to the point where i was having panic attacks walking to school; i was so scared. My parents finally realised that i had school phobia and with the schools permission removed me. Now i'm studiyng for my GCSE's at home but i feel i'm going to fail them because of my low confidence in my work. I want to be a novelist when i grow up, but feeling like this has given me permanent writers block and now i feel that i'll fail.

All this has made the rest of my life hell, My parents worry i have agoraphobia because i never leave the house and when i do it's with them. My only true friend lives hours away, and so i don't ever come into contact with anyone my own age. I've never had a boyfriend or a real relationship, and my confidence about my body is so low that i would be terrifeid anyway. I've never even had one boy like me, the only ones who ever ask me out laugh straight afterwards and call me 'spot the dog' cos of my terrible acne.

Everyone says that i should get out and make friends, but my parents worry about me when i'm alone and i have no clubs to join as i'm not into sports or anything that other people are into. i tried to join a writers group, but all the people were three times my age.

I probably seem like a strange whiny teenager, but i'm so low, and i have no one else to talk to. My parents are already under a huge amount of stress and i would never be comfortable enough to talk about boys with them, even though we're really close. Please can someone advise me?

All I'd like was to meet one or two teenagers my own age who i can really trust (who live nearby)

:oops: Sorry, I just reread all that, i've written an essay.
Emmy
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Postby smile » Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:24 am

Hiya,

For a while I had school phobia and it was difficult to cope. I went through a lot of things that you have gone through but have come through it in the end. I never used to go out because I got very low. I would only tend to go out at weekends with my family but never on my own. My parents contanstantly tried to get me out of the house but I always refused. I seemed to have my own little shelter inside my house and felt safe there. But it dawned on me that I wasn't going to get anywhere if I was moping around the house all the time. I wasn't socialising because everytime I did I feared we would end up talking about why I couldn't get into school. I had had enough of talking about that!

With the help of family and friends I went out each day, just for a little at first. After days I gradually built up the confidence to meet some of my friends after school. It did feel quite wierd at first and a few times I did put it off but in the end I am where I am now and can walk out of the door without a second thought.

As for you GCSEs, don't think that you will fail them. You can acheive anything if you put your mind to it. Honestly, you really can. I missed over 12 months of school which was near enough the whole of year 9 and half of ten. I thought that I was going to fail all of my GCSEs but have got my head down and I'm doing well. You need confidence in yourself and there are many ways to do it.

If you have a problem with acne you could try going to the doctors if you haven't already. He/she might be able to supply you with a cream that can help to soothe the skin. Also use wipes, such as clearasil wipes etc. twice a day. Many people suffer from severe acne so remember that you are not the only one.

As for going out I think you need to keep a diary of your progress. As soon as you get out more you will feel so much more confident. It's easy to become stuck in a rut in our own homes. You can get inspiration for you writing by visiting a pretty place or a place that interests you.

If you keep a diary log when you went out, how far you went, what you did and how long you were out for. My first going out was going ten feet down the road to call the cat in. :) But I still logged it down and gradually got a little further each time. I did feel so much better once I had been out.

As for meeting people there are many ways that you can do that. There are clubs held in many schools which are after school. You don't have to be enrolled at the school to join. Also there are summer clubs specifically for our age that you can join. You can do many different things and meet people your own age. Your library will have information on that, just email them or give them a ring. (Or even pop down there on your own :) )

Above all you can get through this. I have and so can you. Your family will support you in whatever you do so if you do keep a diary about how much you went out etc. then tell them. They can help you through this.

If you need someone to talk to or fancy a chat then feel free to PM or email me.

Kind regards,

Smile
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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Postby lizzie.s. » Wed Apr 21, 2004 8:42 pm

ok, alot of that i am afraid i cannot relate to. but some of it i can. as for acne. just go with it. i have it aswell. i get the same insults everyday of my life and i have learnt to live with it. treat it with stuff like witch hazle or oxy. it works. i dont use it for reasons of my own, but thats not important. YOU ARE. it seems good that u r working at home. it means you dont get distracted and you are woking in a familiar environment. Good on you for wanting to be a novelist, sounds like a gd job, I wish i had the talent to write novels. and as for writers block, write a novel about your experiences!!! its gets them off your chest, gaives you something to write about and will probably give u more inspiration as you go along.

hope that helps

lv paul XXXX (dont let the user name fool you)
it makes you think doesn't it?
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Postby oh_lawdy » Wed Feb 16, 2005 11:26 pm

huni... i just wanna give u a squeezy hug!! beauty is on the inside!! spots go.. and education isn't everything... as far as friends go.. just be a bit more confident in yourself..and smile!! :D

Edited by silver tree for text lingo
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Postby Kruelty » Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:03 pm

im sorry i cant help you much here,
ive never really been insulted at school only school phobia i had was when i 1st started cos im so damn shy :( but its ok now, not as bad
if you have some money spare i can helo you with your acne though

and if your offended by this please just tell me and ill delete the post

head down to your local boots (or internet shop) and ask for some o these ^^

http://www.boots.com/guidedsearch/newse ... =0&Ntk=all

hope theres a good selection for you ^^
Kruelty
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Postby Amelia » Fri Sep 30, 2005 3:05 pm

Hi there,
I used to have really low self esteem because of people bullying me at school and I kinda went off the rails when I was your age! I got through it though because I had to spend time on my own-mainly coz most of my so-called-friends were into drugs and I was on the wagon. I soon realised that they were not my friends just like those girls who picked on you weren't yours!!
I am now very selective who I choose to be with and the time alone has made me except who I am. I would recommend Tea Tree facial wash for your acne but that is a skin problem-not who you are!! You seem like a very ambitous person and don't give up your dream to be a writer!You may have writers block now but you may find that this may be your catalyst for when you are ready to write your novel!! Good luck and remember there is no shame in being on your own!
Amelia
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