mates and suicide

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mates and suicide

Postby *Kizzzz* » Wed Jun 08, 2005 2:39 am

Hey,

im having problems with 2 of my close mates both trying to kill themselves. Its been going on for some time now an its really starting to get at me.

One trys hanging himself (apparently the ceiling came thru an thats the only reason it didnt work, how true this is i dont know) and then drinking quite alot each week till he just passes out. Hes also been known to take overdoses. My other friend just always cuts herself and last weekend did actually overdose.

Its all just getting way to much now, i have my own problems to deal with as it is and after a hard day to hear all of that is just making me worse, especially when there very hard to get through to, it just takes it out of me. When that happens i tend to just sit there and cry because after trying so hard an getting nowhere i feel useless.

Ive helped them alot in the past so i cant just turn round and say im not in the mood that day an to talk to someone else because i know they would react bad an try more stuff.

I've mentioned to both of them about seeing councilers and people like that but they just wont do it. They wont take any help like that at all, thinking its a waste of time etc etc.

How do i get through to them an make them try see someone? Or just talk to someone who will be able to do something to help?

please give me some advice that i could use for if they try it again, i really dont know what else to do for them and i dont wanna have to see them like this :(
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Postby JennaXXX » Wed Jun 08, 2005 9:25 am

I think that now is the time for you to get adult help. You shouldn't have to deal with this on your own. If there is a teacher that you trust or a counsellor at school then talk to them. Your friends may not thank you for it now but it sounds like they need urgent help.
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:35 pm

i completly agree!

hun dont feel useless its not your fault and you shouldnt have to deal with this by yourself. whatever happens to them is definately not your fault.

i think you should talk to someone about this and try and get help for your friends maybe tell them they need help. do their parents know about all this? well the yprobably do but arent they trying to help?
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Postby *Kizzzz* » Wed Jun 08, 2005 2:44 pm

i dont think there parents know, i dont know really. I know they dont know about my friend cutting herself but i aint got a clue about the rest.
actually thats something i should ask the boy, if he was telling the truth about hanging himself and the ceiling coming thru...his parents would of had to notice wouldnt they? hmmm now thats gonna make me wonder if hes lieing. If he has been lieing what am i menna do?

I cant tell any teachers because were not at school anymore and i know they really would fall out with me if i told anyone else. If they try it again then i'll just mention that they really do need help off someone like an adult but it is hard because they just say they dont want the help.

to be honest, im starting to think its some sort of cry for help or one of them i do think it could be for the attention of it....they cant really wanna die can they? If they seriously wanted to they would of done it by now...or is that just the way im thinking?
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Postby arwen » Wed Jun 08, 2005 3:36 pm

You are not responsible for your friends' actions or their mental state of being. Their behaviour does sound like classic attention seeking, or as you put it, a cry for help.
Let them know you are there for them and will help them take the positive steps required to get out of this situation, but if they are not prepared to seek help themselves then you are not prepared to be their verbal punchbag. You don't deserve that.
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Postby *Kizzzz* » Wed Jun 08, 2005 5:46 pm

They do know i'm there for them and they do know how much i care, its probabaly why they always come running to me.

Spoke to the lad though, seems his dad does know because he saw the ceiling and then had to stop him doing something else. He says he wont do it again because he has promised people. Though its the same as what he said last time so im just gonna have to see if he can keep his word this time.

ah well, am just going to have to try ma best to keep them happy.

thanks for all your help
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 6:20 pm

they cant expect you to help them all the way if there way of dealing with things is just by doing that. you sound like a great friend and just next time there feeling low just tell them there are easier ways to deal with how they feeling and thats not by killing or hurting themselves.

good luck x x x x
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Postby *Kizzzz* » Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:43 pm

Thanks :)

i'll try saying that to them next time if they try it and see if they listen. Though im hoping there wont be a next time after they have made there promises.

x x x
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 08, 2005 8:59 pm

ok hun good luck x x x x
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