im such a loner....

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im such a loner....

Postby problems » Wed Jun 29, 2005 12:39 pm

I have no friends at school and feel that everyone talks about me behind my back. I just feel like dying and dont know what to do. I get embarrassed as my parents know that i dont have any friends. I have a boyfriend but thats it. I love him dearly but i just wish I could have some friends.

sorry if this is a lil bit depressing but im sorry..........................

Edited by silver tree: please write in proper English in the forums, it makes it easier for everyone to read.
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Postby lilessexgal » Wed Jun 29, 2005 1:10 pm

you say you feel they talk about you beind your back but are you thats not just your confidence making you assume thats what there doing. without any evidence they all have been doing it you cant really say they have been. your a bit like me you get paranoid very easily but whatever you do you dont want to let this get in your way of friends etc. i almost lost my boyfriend partly because i was always miserable because i though the worst and that everyone hated me! you dont want to lose your boyfriend do you?

try making conversations with people getting yourseleves involved then you will find out what they are really talking about. im sure you have some friends and you have your boyfriend by your side and im sure he loves you.
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Postby luvva » Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:12 am

I think the only thing to do here is get more involved yourself. (Not to say that you haven't already been trying.)

Are there any clubs you could join?

Maybe in class you could just try to get into conversations, if people are talking about something you like..tell them what you think!

I first just made friends by being a little bit jokey with people, trying to let them know what you're like, and helping them out. Maybe if someone needed a bit of help with something..you could go over?

Just striking a conversation up about something could lead on to something more.
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Postby JennaXXX » Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:14 am

As summer is coming up why dont you get a summer job or join a group or club? That way you are bound to meet some new friends.

Like you I am prone to getting paranoid but there is no proof that people are doing this so please dont worry too much. Even if they are doing it, It just goes to show how insecure they are in themselves.
I think that you need to build up your confidence and self esteem and ask your boyfriend for his help.
If this doesnt work and you continue to feel bad about yourself and life then maybe you should seek professional help? Dont be scared to ask for help if you are really struggling.
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Postby bkukat » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:24 pm

I had this problem at school, its a tough mold to break, but like the others say, try branching out, maybe with a new year you'll be in different sets with different people. I dont know how long you have left, but I found once I got out of school and into college things were allot easier
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Re: im such a loner....

Postby problemguru » Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:11 am

hiya dont worry about meeting friend youll find you true friend when your older and i no you sed you feel like a loner . well your not lots of other people dont have friends either. just talk to the person next to u and hopefully you could have a new friend
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Postby Rock_Queen » Sun Jul 17, 2005 10:30 am

Hey,

Sometimes i feel that i don't broaden my horizons in the amount of people i am friendly with either. I tend to stick with the 10 or so people i know well and don't talk to new people. How old are you? There must be people that you haven't really bothered with in school? You may not think it but there are other quite a few other people in your predicament (sp?). Ever looked around the class to see the quiet kid at the back, or at the front? You may be thinking "wtf is she going on about?!" but seriously, there are like 5 to every class. If you talk to them they may wanna get to know you, and they'll like you for making that first move to involve them.

Have you ever thought it's to do with yourself? For example there is this lovely girl in my tutor, but nobody likes her, because she is so shy it comes across as though she is a bit snobby. Yknow she doesn't look at your when you talk to her, and she rarely smiles if you catch her eye or something. Does this sound like you? If so then not many people will want to bother, because they probably think that if they do try and talk to you, or just be generally friendly then you may blow them off, or give them the cold shoulder. Quite alot of people do this without realising it. So try and keep your head held high, smile at people for no reason! I do that and they just smile back, it's friendly and not overboard for someone you don't know that well.

If you really tried this and it isn't working then you're lucky, the summer holidays are coming up! I'm helping out in this club for two weeks caring for disabled and mentally handicapped children with other people that i won't even know who are roughly the same age as me. It may seem a bit daunting to think of it, but everyone is in the same boat, and believe it or not it is really easy to make friends this way. There will be loads of oppertunities over the summer holidays so keep an eye out. Another suggestion is a penpal company? I Joined one this time last year for people who LOVE to talk about rock music, and there were quite a few people available that were around my area that were just like me!

Hope these suggestions work, if you'rw willing to make friends and get yourself out there then it is bound to work. Whatever you do please don't go into your shell and hide away in the summer holidays... It's easy to do but it'll be really hard to go back to school in September.

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Postby Liquidius » Sun Jul 17, 2005 11:34 am

When I was younger, I was very much in your situation. As i've gotten older, I've gained bags of confidence, and as a result I don't find it hard to talk to people at all. There people most probably aren't talking about you behing your back at all, that's just the paranoia kicking in, and that happens usually when your self esteem is really low. And that is low because you don't feel you have any friends. A vicious circle.

Think of it this way, you have a boyfriend, and he loves you :) That's got to make your self esteem a little higher? Why not join a new club or start a new hobby and make friends that way? If you're not a confident person, have a go and be brave. If these people are talking about you behind your back, you must be something special to be the topic of conversation!
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Postby Holidaysnow » Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:32 pm

When I first moved to London i found it really difficult to fit in with the "City crowd". The more time I spent on my hobbies and interests, I discovered more people, who just like me, shared both interest in the medium of film and a lack of a community.

Eventually I found myself a large group of friends that I continue to meet and share hobbies with. This isn't, by any means, a new way of building a group. Look at the dandies, or even (sigh) Chavs. Common interests = new friends.
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