I'm stupidly shy, it's too embarrassing

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I'm stupidly shy, it's too embarrassing

Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 11:58 am

hey im new here, i read a couple people posts and thought exactly the same thing apart from mine dilemma being possibly worse.

Im 13, going into year 9 and i cant even talk to girls whatsoever, some of my mates have the same situation but they can talk to girls even the girls i dont have a crush on i just stand there, go red and start to stutter, it took me alot of confidence even to post on here! Im too shy for my liking, i hang around with 2 differnt groups of people, 1 group has the same dilemma as me but they dont stand there and stutter like a prat, the other group talks to girls easily asif it was their mom! there is only 1 girl i can talk to at all called Kathryn, my friends know this and they always same 'shes way out of your league man' i only get to talk to her in english (i get 2 english teachers with arranged seats) once a week and sometimes when im playing football but she is like the most popular girl in my year so i have no chance with her, this has embaressed me too much i really need help with this too keep my cool.

Any help is deeply appriciated


(is it just me or is there hardly any guys in these forums:-/ )
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Postby brielle » Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:12 pm

I think your question is a very valid question and must be very important to you, oh, there are guys on this forum, too, so dont feel left out!

Why dont you think you have a chance with Kathryn you never will know untill you try, sometimes from a girls point of view at that age somoene who is a not in your face all the time can be far more attractive anyway.

You are obviously very sensitive and dont really want to be put down, and Im sure your not the only one who feels like that,........ but its not a bad thing it just means that you need to know where you stand first before you go ahead and ask if this girl ( or anyone would like to go out with you )

You probably need a few signals first, and to get to know somoene a bit better, so try not to be so hard on yourself, build up your confidence first.
Good luck :D
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Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:31 pm

i tihnk im so sensitive because im originally from portsmouth and i moved to sunderland and my school, well the girls dont care for personality and looks they go for the popular guys to make friends with the other popular girls... its terrible really, going out with boys for popularity... and even if i did try for Kathryn and it did work i know for a fact we would get mocked and she would possbily get beaten up yes my school is that rough, thank god im in the right crowd tho... i wish i could do what my brother did, move back down to portsmouth and finish school and possibly uni there, but im too concearned with my mom and her friend jill has too much hassle with her son he beats her up, calls her names and such, and my mom wouldnt agree with it, it was too painful my bro leaving... so im just stuck in the middle, not being able to talk to most girls without going bright red... i wonder though has anyone else been in my situation? because i would hate to think im the only person out there :(

thx for the reply
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Postby Moose » Tue Aug 30, 2005 8:58 pm

Don't try to think of these girls as potential girlfriends; just try to talk to them as friends. I think you'll find yourself a lot more popular if you do that than if you only talk to girls with the view to getting a girlfriend.

You're definitely not the only one with that problem - definitely. But the more you try to chat to girls about normal every day things, the more relaxed you'll be. You will probably find yourself getting more confident with age as well.

You've done a big thing anyway, moving all the way up from Portsmouth, so you should be pleased with yourself for that. It's never easy starting a new school, but especially not when it's somewhere you don't know and everyone talks differently!
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Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:34 pm

Moose wrote:Don't try to think of these girls as potential girlfriends; just try to talk to them as friends. I think you'll find yourself a lot more popular if you do that than if you only talk to girls with the view to getting a girlfriend.

You're definitely not the only one with that problem - definitely. But the more you try to chat to girls about normal every day things, the more relaxed you'll be. You will probably find yourself getting more confident with age as well.

You've done a big thing anyway, moving all the way up from Portsmouth, so you should be pleased with yourself for that. It's never easy starting a new school, but especially not when it's somewhere you don't know and everyone talks differently!


yeah i was just making a point dude, and yeah ur right about moving schools and its reassuring to know im not the only person, but about the 'talk to girls about every day things' sometimes a couple girls do say something but if we get in a deep chat i do start to get all shy and sttutery and think 'oh no not again' especially when i got talked to in the middle of PE :-/ that was weird i missed like 10 mins of pe due to talking, bu t that was the most i ever talked to that girl in my life, because it was every lesson, (she dragged me off the football pitch to talk to me it was really weird, then i got threated a detention so she left) but every since then she never talked to me again, i tried talking to her but she quickly ended the convosation, kinda weird.. anyway u got anymroe tips ? just not going red while talking to girls would be helpful...
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Postby Jess1234 » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:38 pm

Don't think of them as girls... think of them as friends. That way you'll feel more at ease with them. My friend has the same problem. If she sees a guy she clams up thinking 'oml its a guy what should i do!' But if she just thinks of them as friends she finds she can get along with them fine.
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Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:44 pm

Jess1234 wrote:Don't think of them as girls... think of them as friends. That way you'll feel more at ease with them. My friend has the same problem. If she sees a guy she clams up thinking 'oml its a guy what should i do!' But if she just thinks of them as friends she finds she can get along with them fine.


ahha, i shall try that apart from not talking about guy stuff ^^

thanks for the tip, back to school in 5 days.
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Postby Jess1234 » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:50 pm

i have an extra week. Another tip is don't worry about year nine they make it out to be a big deal when it actually isn't. (im going into yr 10) feel free to PM me if you have any qu's
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Postby bloody_knife » Tue Aug 30, 2005 9:53 pm

Loads of guys go through this.It's just one of those things about slowly but surely building up confidence by even having the smallest of talks with a girl.
I went through it, but like I said, you've just got to gradually build up the confidence to talk to them.Might sound hard seeing as you find it hard.But its just one of those things that most guys have to get over.
I'm 14 so i know what its like to be able to talk to girls or not to be able to talk to them.I agree with jess, just see them as friends [ It will make things easier ] I'm kind of lucky in a way, seeing as i have two very good mates who are actually girls.If you can get a girl to like you as a mate,you'll be able to meet up with her,talk to her etc it will give you a whole lot of confidence trust me!
Good luck anyways!
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Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:00 pm

bloody_knife wrote:Loads of guys go through this.It's just one of those things about slowly but surely building up confidence by even having the smallest of talks with a girl.
I went through it, but like I said, you've just got to gradually build up the confidence to talk to them.Might sound hard seeing as you find it hard.But its just one of those things that most guys have to get over.
I'm 14 so i know what its like to be able to talk to girls or not to be able to talk to them.I agree with jess, just see them as friends [ It will make things easier ] I'm kind of lucky in a way, seeing as i have two very good mates who are actually girls.If you can get a girl to like you as a mate,you'll be able to meet up with her,talk to her etc it will give you a whole lot of confidence trust me!
Good luck anyways!


i just remembered, when i was in my primary days my best friend was a girl.. i dont get it, i never use to have trouble in primary school.. weird, there are actually 2 girls who live near me problem is, they are both really irritating chavs :evil: no one else lives near me but i could always get their MSN :-D i owe alot of credit to my mate nathan if it wasnt for him, i would be terrible, because of him i can talk to kathryn, guess i can practise on her :p ok thats sounds disgusting but u know what i mean, she just logged into msn :p
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Postby Jess1234 » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:03 pm

Kruelty wrote:i just remembered, when i was in my primary days my best friend was a girl.. i dont get it, i never use to have trouble in primary school.. weird, there are actually 2 girls who live near me problem is, they are both really irritating chavs :evil: no one else lives near me but i could always get their MSN :-D


In primary school you wouldn't have thought of girls as anything but a friend now your starting to look at girls in a different way. Maybe thats why your finding it so difficult to talk to them. You don't have this trouble with guys do you?
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Postby Kruelty » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:08 pm

Jess1234 wrote:
Kruelty wrote:i just remembered, when i was in my primary days my best friend was a girl.. i dont get it, i never use to have trouble in primary school.. weird, there are actually 2 girls who live near me problem is, they are both really irritating chavs :evil: no one else lives near me but i could always get their MSN :-D


In primary school you wouldn't have thought of girls as anything but a friend now your starting to look at girls in a different way. Maybe thats why your finding it so difficult to talk to them. You don't have this trouble with guys do you?


good point, just with guys u talk about guy stuff, if i try to start a conversation with a girl i dunno what to begin with, i would have more luck saying "very nice weather".
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Postby Moose » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:12 pm

You're talking to Jess1234 ok, aren't you?!
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Postby Jess1234 » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:13 pm

You could talk about anything a programme on tv, what hobbies your interested in. I think that people need both guy and girl mates. I have a few of both and i think it's great. Everyone should experience a friendship with someone from the opposite sex.

Good luck xx
Take care xx
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Postby bloody_knife » Tue Aug 30, 2005 10:16 pm

good point, just with guys u talk about guy stuff, if i try to start a conversation with a girl i dunno what to begin with, i would have more luck saying "very nice weather".


When I'm out with mates [girls] it does sometimes get to the stage where no one talks for a while as it is hard to know what girls wanan talk about.
But then other times like, Today i was out with a mate [girl] for like six hours+ just lying in the park, and it was like we couldn STOP talking,just talk about things you'd talk about normally.But you really cannot be too guyish when your talking to a girl...I really think you should get a girl as a mate, and who knows she could turn out to be more than a mate :wink:
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