the next step...

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the next step...

Postby timetomakechanges » Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:50 pm

O.k so im 16 but at the end of may i'll be 17 and I kind of feel inexperienced with boys. This time last year, I had a quite serious boyfriend but I definitely didn't think I loved him and it ended after a while and we'd only kissed .The thing is,i'm about to go into my last year of college next year, and i'm extrememly aware of how much more experienced everyone else is with boys compared to me, especially whaat with the idea of going into uni without having ever had sex which right now seems like a posibility. The most i've ever done is had a couple of heated kisses, but My close friends have mostly all had sex a couple of times, but none of them have ever been with serious boyfriends. However, I would never go with anyone if I wasn't in a serious relationship and if I didn't feel entirely comfortable, and to be honest, I don't feel particularly ready to let someone get that intimate with me. There's also someone I really like but know nothing will ever happen with so I feel like if i'm with someone else i'll always compare them to him. I just want a decent boyfriend who is funny and kind and wouldn't put pressure on me because I feel as though i'm avoiding having boyfriends incase they wanna move thigs on, but at the same time I want to have sex so I'm not feeling so behind everyone else
advice would be great especially from anyone who's ever been in a similar situation :(
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Postby gatekeeper » Fri Mar 31, 2006 5:57 pm

hey, I'm 17 moving on to 18 and never had sex, haven't had a bf so what's the big deal?

I don't believe in having sex because everyone's doing it. I believe in finding the right person, the right time. I'm afraid of getting into a relationship and then realising that he wants to take things further and I'm not ready too. Tell him that you're not ready, talk it out and if you're right for each other, he'll be ready to wait. Blokes dont just run off to another girl for sex. At least, most of my friends don't.

Enjoy your youth, don't be in such a hurry to settle down. You sound like a wonderful person, I know you'll find someone who appreciates you!
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Postby Bexical » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:02 pm

Hey hun, theres no big deal to have sex before college or uni, its not to be rushed as you may not be emotionally ready for it, many thigns can happen in the next couple of years you are still young. Many friends say they have gone further to look good and cool when really they havent. Make sure when you have sex that is a serious relationship with someone who loves and respects you and who hasnt pushed you into it. Make sure contraception is sorted as well
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Postby Liquidius » Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:22 pm

I had the opposite problem, and lost my virginity a little bit too early and I regret it. Believe me, being a virgin and at uni is nothing to be ashamed of. Take your time, and don't feel left behind, There'll be a lot more people in your situation than you think! :)

Despite what it may look like sometimes, there are a lot of decent guys out there....:)
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Postby Lost... » Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:25 pm

i was also an "early beginner" i don't think its anything to be proud of infact i hate it i'd much rather have waited, however it is great to not have to worry about the pressure of your first time. i don't beleive in having sex just because everyone else is doing it like some of the others have said but i do beleive that if your ready at an early age then its ok but only if you know you are ready... i did it because i wanted to and felt ready, i didn't love the guy so what? i just wanted to try it out, isn't this the time when we are meant to experiment and have fun? you don't have to be in love to enjoy sex, just do whats right for you when the time is right. Good luck!
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Postby lilessexgal » Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:16 pm

Liquidius wrote:I had the opposite problem, and lost my virginity a little bit too early and I regret it. Believe me, being a virgin and at uni is nothing to be ashamed of. Take your time, and don't feel left behind, There'll be a lot more people in your situation than you think! :)

Despite what it may look like sometimes, there are a lot of decent guys out there....:)

couldnt agree more. i lost it not exactly maye be too young i was 15 but i regretted it being with someone i didnt love. im now with someone i love and i feel so comfortable with him but wish my first time could of been with him.

so i think your doing everything right and something more peopl should think about. dont think about your friends and what they have done. they can do what they want. the best thing to do is be comfortbale with yourself and what you do. trust me you will know when your ready. dont do it before you want to. and lastly dont ever be ashamed! plenty of people have their virginity still at your age and it is nothing to be ashamed about!
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Postby Redshift » Tue Jun 27, 2006 8:22 pm

Heya there, i am new to this but hey i will give you the best Advise i can, I am a bloke and lets just say, I feel the saem as gatekeeper, there is no rush to lose your virginity, best thing to do it find the right person, also as gatekeeper said most of my friend have done it because they think it is cool but they have regreted it afterwards, don't let peer presure push you into anything, I am still waiting for the right girl for me,

Don't be in a hurry to grow up.

Good Luck with this

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Postby Unica » Mon Jul 10, 2006 6:18 pm

There is definitley no rush to lose your virginity! You really shouldnt look at it as a game or a competition, you will only get once chance so make it worth it.

I'm 21 (and a little confused at the minute) but until recently id only even been with boys!...i had 2 serious boyfriends when i was at school. 1 of whom was cheating on me for a year because i wudnt sleep with him and 1 of whom worshipped the ground i walked on and respected me so much because i wasnt sleeping with him.
So basically what i am tryin to say is, everyguy is different. There will be 1 guy out there who will give u the love and respect so that you will feel ready. Also, there is no set age when u feel ready, with the right amount of mutual love you will both feel ready together. You sound like a very mature 16/17 year old, only you know what you want.

My friends and I always talk about "the first time" and out of my close group of girlfriends (theres 7 of us) only 1 of us doesnt regret their first time! ...But PLEASE do not have sex just to fit in!! It is one of those things you will remember for the rest of your life...and you'll want to look back and smile! (if a little embarrased haha)

Take care
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Postby PoisonedWounds » Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:39 pm

I lost my virginity to someone I thought I was going to be with for a while but then got dumped and a week later and now really regret it. Even though I'm at uni I still wish I was still a virgin. Don't rush into, it if you want to wait, do so! No one will think any less of you and those who do aren't worth the hassle!
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