HELP new dilema i can be with him but it means cheating

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HELP new dilema i can be with him but it means cheating

Postby Lost... » Tue Apr 11, 2006 2:09 am

i'm in love with a guy who lives in another counrty, but is from mine and often returns because all his family live here in the same city as me, we get on really well and talk almost everyday but he has no idea of how i feel although he has suggested us meeting up on his next visit back to my home city and getting together i don't think he's see's me the way that i see him and i doubt that i could ever tell him, I think that if i was reading this i would probably think that i'm being silly because he is someone i have only talked to and never actually met in person and that the best advice to me would be to just forget about him but i can't get him off my mind EVER he is constantly in my head i even failed an exam about a week ago because i couldn't stop thinking about him. what should i do?....i can see that there are alot more important problems on this site but anyone with any experience in long distance relationships or just an opinion PLEASE help me out here asap!!!
Last edited by Lost... on Fri Apr 14, 2006 3:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby psycho*jadey » Tue Apr 11, 2006 10:22 am

hey. im in a VERY long distance relationship. its going ok. as long as you trust each other and talk a lot then it shouldnt be a problem. i think you need to tell him how you feel though. otherwise you'll go your whole life wondering 'what if'.
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
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Postby gatekeeper » Tue Apr 11, 2006 1:27 pm

Well why can't he like you too? It sounds like he likes you or he wouldn't keep talking to you or suggest meeting you. But if you haven't met him and plan to, please do everything to make it a safe meeting. Public place, tell someone about your meeting and so on...
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Postby Lost... » Tue Apr 11, 2006 4:52 pm

Hey, thanks for your replies i just don't think i'm up to telling him because he is both way to good for me and really far away i don't want to scare him off we've become good friends and i value him alot even if thats all i ever get to be with him i'm so stuck though he doesn't even realise, i mean how obvious can you be without appearing desperate!! i just don't have a clue what to do about this i've never been in this situation, its totally alien. i can't talk to my friends about it because they will just laugh at me so if you have an opinion PLEASE let me know!!!
k thanks bye xXx
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Postby psycho*jadey » Tue Apr 11, 2006 7:31 pm

maybe...this might sound a bit dodgy...but maybe just flirt with him a bit and see how he responds. if he flirts back then he's probably interested
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
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Postby Lost... » Wed Apr 12, 2006 7:06 pm

Yeah i have been and he flirts back, but i can't really tell if he's just having fun or is actually interested i need to figure out how to be sure any ideas?
xXx
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Postby psycho*jadey » Thu Apr 13, 2006 12:15 pm

ok maybe flirt a bit more seriously. then if he's interested he'll flirt back to see how far it'll go.
if i can see it then i can do it. if i believe it theres nothing 2 it.
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He just told me he has a girlfriend :(

Postby Lost... » Fri Apr 14, 2006 3:39 pm

he has a girlfriend!!!!! :cry: so we were talking the other night and he casually drops into the conversation that he has just the day before starting going out with this girl, i was gutted never felt so bad in my whole life!!! but then he started to confuse me, he was telling me she was a bit of a witch to him and then (this is where it gets REALLY confusing) he starts to tell me i'm cute and sending me signals that he likes me :o now i just don't have a clue what to do because he's coming here in 2 weeks and we're gonna meet up and probably end up cheating on his girlfriend. i dunno what to do because on one hand i wanna be with him and be selfish and just go for it because i've liked him [u]so[/u] much for [u]so[/u] long, and on the other hand i don't think i should do anything because 1. he has a girlfriend and 2. it would just make it so much harder for me when he has to go home again. PLEASE HELP MAJOR DILEMA!!!
xXx
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Postby Bexical » Fri Apr 14, 2006 3:42 pm

Something is telling me that he is saying that to find out what your reaction would be, I seen this many times before men making out they have girlfriends so that you react in the way they want. Yes it is confusing and in a way he is playing with your head, I would just carry on talkin andnot flirt at all just act like hes a good friend!
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Postby gatekeeper » Sat Apr 15, 2006 8:58 am

I know how it feels like when you like a good friend 'cos I'm in the same position. I don't have the courage to tell him and risk losing what I already have with him. So good luck if you decide to tell him, it will take a lot of courage.
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