I hate life

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I hate life

Postby lyf-sucks » Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:38 pm

I just hate my life. Ever since the start of this year everything has either gone wrong or someone will bring up the past of something bad that happened. I've been so close to wanting to kill myself this year but realised that it ain't the way to go and now I just want to run away. I'm so scared of everything and everyone. When I go out I feel like people are watching me in disgrace and I can't trust any of my friends after what I did.

(Kirsty), she was meant to be my 'best friend' even though I did hate her, but we just could tell each other stuff. Then every time just to make me feel bad she'd say that in primary school I bulied her with my other mate, which wasn't true cause she bullied my mate. So, I stuck up for my mate.

Then, since we started secondary school, she kept saying to everyone that I bullied her. Because she is quite small for her age and I'm quite tall, everyone believed her and I felt like no one liked me cause people would be like to me "how could you be such a witch to your mate, I thought she was your friend and we thought you were nice". She'd just sit there with a smug look on her face and look at me as if to say "ha you think this is bad wait until I get everyone hating you". I just felt so alone and had no one to turn to.

Then one day it made me so upset I had to keep lying to my mom to keep off school. I was too scared to go to school because of her, and I know it seems stupid to be scared of someone smaller than you but she threatened me with her mom, aunt, and her cousin. I was so scared to even stay home cause she knew where I lived.

Then in my art class my teacher noticed I was off my work and I told her after class how I felt but I couldn't tell her the whole story because Kirsty was spying. Then I just went to my head of year because I couldn't handle any more stress off her or anything. Then when I went back to my lesson she kept saying "if you don't tell me what's wrong I'll tell your mom you were upset in school and I'll say you bullied me in primary(which aint true)". I just sat there and felt like yelling out in the class "look you lying witch everything you say is a lie, why do it? Just cause you're smaller than most people in this year you think you can make people like you by lying and I don't care what you tell my mom cause why would she believe you over me? Plus she doesn't like you and you can ask her yourself". But I managed to stay calm and not say anything.

I ran home that day told my mom everything and she knew that something had been troubling me, then since the 6 weeks started I feel like the whole world is against me. I just don't know what to do, I feel like running away from all my troubles and problems.

Please someone help me before I do decide to run away. Please help xx :cry:

edited by all_apologies into sentences and for text talk: please take the time to write properly on the forums, otherwise your posts are difficult to understand
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Postby chosenfew » Tue Aug 15, 2006 11:04 am

hi lyf-sucks. i went through kinda the same thing in school. one of my mates told everyone i killed her hampster which i didnt and everyone hated me for it and chased me around the play ground shouting "murderer". I think you should tell your mum everything thats going on and tell her how afraid and upset you are. stress the fact that everyone is horrible to you at school and tell her you have had to lie to her about being sick coz thats how much you dont wanna go in to school. once you have told your mum i think you should tell you school because this is bullying which is not very nice and that girl can be expelled from school for doing it. infact if you dont wanna tell them you should p.m me the phone number of your school and i will tell them and make sure no one in your school finds out that i or anyone else has mentioned this. i hate bullies and i know how your feeling, thats why something needs to be done NOW!!!
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