The funniest thing a customer has ever asked you before!!

This area is for general aimless chit chat.
Forum rules

Postby roxy2007 » Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:38 pm

missyx wrote:I've had loads of funny ones, particularly when I worked in a bookshop:

Whilst wheeling a huge full stock trolley out the stockroom - "Excuse me, do you work here?" (So tempted to say "no, I'm just a confident shoplifter").
"Have you got a book on hongy-fuwy?" - He meant fung shui.
"My daughter needs a book to help her with her English - it's called something like dinosaurs..." - He meant a thesaurus!
"Are all the middle shelves a pound?" - Huhh?!
"Do you sell beer?" - Strangely enough, no - we are a BOOKshop. In his defence, he was very drunk.


OH. MY. GOD. I haven't stopped laughing at this one! I loved the confident shop lifter thing. OMG!! Thank you so much for this! I am stuck at work for the remainder of the evening and that has just made it more bearable! So thank you!
Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 6:29 pm

Postby dollydiamond » Mon Apr 14, 2008 12:13 pm

brfc wrote:a little boy come into somerfield and started looking at the flower stand. after a few minutes he came up too me he said my mum asked me too get some self raisin flowers but i cant see any. i couldnt stop laughing poor thing. :D

awww bless.
iloveyou.. xx
User avatar
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
Posts: 84
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2006 11:46 am

Postby HappyGoLucky » Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:50 am

Arsenic_Candy wrote:haha! love this, I work in a call centre (for a large insurance company) and I had a man call up the other day.

Me - Good afternoon your through to ### insurance company, how may I help you?

Customer - I would like to order a pair of your trousers please.

Me- Excuse me? sorry sir I think you have the wrong number this is ### insurance company. we deal with domestic appliance insurance

Customer - yes, I would like to order a pair of your trousers please.

Me - Sir as I have already explained you have the wrong number, I'm really sorry but I cant help you. who is it you are trying to contact? maybe I could help you find the correct number to call?

Customer (becoming agressive) look I want to order a pair of your trousers why wont you help me?

Me - FINE sir I am wearing a pair from Matalan. I dont think you can order them but if you call into any local store im sure they would be able to help!

the line went dead......................

LOL! :rofl:
Life is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get!
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
Posts: 816
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 2:53 pm
Location: On planet Earth.
Gender: Female

Postby sarahloub84 » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:37 am

Ha ha haaa!!! Matalan! That's really funny! I would never have thought of saying that, I would have just hung up! =D>
User avatar
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
Posts: 44
Joined: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:17 am
Gender: Female

Postby spacegirl » Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:30 pm

my friend works in tescos, and she was saying that at least 3 people have come up to her and said "vinny sent me... for the good stuff". (there's an ad for fox's biscuits were the little character says at the end of the ad "go to your supermarket and tell them vinny sent you.. for the good stuff"). the first time she hadn't a clue what they were talking about and didnt find it funny when the poor customer had to explain, since then she's just wanted to throttle them, especially when they expect her to laugh.
not if you were the last dandy on earth
User avatar
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
Posts: 545
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2006 11:19 pm
Gender: Female

Postby bbrown116 » Sat Jun 07, 2008 5:42 pm

I run a cleaning company and we get the weirdest enquiries sometimes...

One guy called me up and asked if we offered a decorating service. When I explained that we didn't, he wanted to know why. Then he hung up. Another guy stopped me as I was coming out of a customer's house carrying cleaning equipment the same week and asked the same thing. When I said we didn't, he told me huffily 'well you look like decorators' and walked off.

Another guy called me and asked if we could provide a cleaner for his apartment. He then asked if I could supply topless cleaners. When i said I couldn't, he asked if the girls gave sexual favours. I told him they didn't. Oh, he said, do your male cleaners? I hung up.

Once, a guy called us up at 1am to ask if we could send a cleaner. He said he'd crashed a car into his lgarage door and wanted it cleaned up before his wife got home...

More recently, last week one of our older customers gave me an apple 'as a tip'. She told me it came from the tree in her garden. Funny because the tree in her garden is a rose bush of some kind...
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Oct 05, 2007 12:47 pm

Postby brfc » Sat Aug 09, 2008 9:54 pm

had a few barmy customers today.

customer 1 picks up a loaf of bread with white bread written in big letters and asks is ths white bread? he said i dont want to get home and find its brown lol.

customer 2 rolls in drunk and tries to get cash out of the cash machine by inserting his mobile phone into the card holder. then he tried paying at the till with his mobile phone!

all i have to say after today is beam me up scotty. :D
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
Posts: 1901
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:35 pm
Location: BATH
Gender: Male

Postby ratita » Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:17 pm

LOL these a brilliant!!

I work for an Insurance brokers (Household)

the one thing that winds me up is my name, well not my name but I have this conversation at least once a day...

Me - good morning "comp name" household dept NAT speaking how can I help?
customer - what did you say your name was?

Me - NAT


Me- no, N for november AT -NAT


Me - No, Natalia...

C- oh thats a weird name!!

:evil: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR THATS WHY I SAY NAT!! Cause you aint gonna get it right!!

lol, the best one though had to be last saturday

Me - do you have any criminal convictions?
C- yes
Me What was the conviction for?
Me importation of?

lol... so i then explain to the customer due to the conviction being unspent he would need a specialist policy and normal mainstream insurers dont insure people with criminal convictions. I ask if current insurers aware? said no, they didnt ask. I said it will be on his documents and he should read them cause his insurance is invalid and if makes a claim wont be covered.

client then askes how much hes looking to pay, I explain the minimum premium is in the region of £300. hes says NAH to expensive im only paying £100 at the min. I explain AGAIN that that policy wont be valid and in the event of a claim the insurance company wont pay out. He says doesnt matter cause he's not going to claim, never had a claim in 25 years. I just like having insurance there just in case. #-o

At this point im tearing my hair out so I say, rather bluntly to him, that then if he is that confident to go uninsured, cause he'll be £100 better off a year cause at the min he's paying for nothing....

lol... every day a little ditty!!

Just Landed
Just Landed
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2008 6:45 pm

Postby rufio89 » Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:02 pm


I work for Nottingham Building Society. I got a call like this earlier.

"Good Morning, Nottingham Building Society"
"Hi is this Nottingham Building Society"
"Oh hi there, I was just wondering where you were based"
"Urr.. Nottingham"
"Oh right, yeah... I've got an application to send in, whats your address?"
"Upper Parliament Street, Nottingham, NG1 2BX"
"ok thanks, whats the county?"
"Cheers. Just one quick question, do you lend on houses in Manchester?"
"Yes, we lend anywhere in England and Wales"
"oh great, thanks"
"oh wait a second, do you also lend on properties in leeds?"
Taken Root
Taken Root
Posts: 2565
Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:05 pm
Location: Nottingham
Gender: Female

Postby pink stripes » Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:27 pm


corr sometimes you just feel like banging your head against a brick wall don't ya??
User avatar
pink stripes
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
Posts: 677
Joined: Fri Dec 09, 2005 8:07 pm
Location: Here...

Re: The funniest thing a customer has ever asked you before!!

Postby captainf » Wed May 20, 2009 2:31 pm

Sometimes though the actual person working can be worse than the customers.
Last year I applied for a job in an aircraft model shop so I could continue to pay off my flying training. I never got an interview but noticed a new guy working there so decided to see if he knew his stuff, afterall, he got the job I went for.

So I said 'excuse me, i'd like the British Airways Landor livery DC-10 by gemini jets please' He looked at me and said 'Is that an aeroplane?' To which I really wanted to respond with 'nah, bus mate' :roll:
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
User avatar
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
Posts: 4763
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 6:28 pm
Location: Milton Keynes
Gender: Male


Return to Chit Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests