Valentines day

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Re: Valentines day

Postby Weasley » Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:51 am

I went out with friends on Saturday night - "singles" night as it was known...
However I did get a card but have no idea who it is from!
xxx :)
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Re: Valentines day

Postby snail » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:11 pm

Ooo how exciting, Weasley! Do you think it's from that guy you said you only wanted to be friends with at the moment?
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

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Re: Valentines day

Postby rufio89 » Mon Feb 16, 2009 12:45 pm

yeah, he really has changed his tune, I guess I really did scare him.

Like on Valentines day, we had our champagne, and he said "toast to our first valentines day together", and I said "first of many I hope", and he said "well, the first of all the rest of them I hope!"

:) that made me happy. I dont want any commitment from him at the moment (not to that sort of extreme), but it's important to me that those kind of those have at least occured to him, and that he does WANT us to stay together long term.
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Weasley » Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:32 pm

I think it could be Snail...either that or my ex (but I could recognise his writting unless he was clever and got somebody else to write it?) I wish it was from a tall, dark, handsome stranger that would just whisk me away, but I think I have been watching too many soppy love movies since my split! :o
xxx :)
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Re: Valentines day

Postby rufio89 » Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:35 pm

I'm handsome Weasley. I'll whisk you away :)
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Re: Valentines day

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:03 pm

Weasley wrote:I think it could be Snail...either that or my ex (but I could recognise his writting unless he was clever and got somebody else to write it?) I wish it was from a tall, dark, handsome stranger that would just whisk me away, but I think I have been watching too many soppy love movies since my split! :o


Maybe it was from a tall, dark, handsome stranger.
A hug is a great gift, one size fits all.
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Weasley » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:13 pm

Oh thank you rufio89! Maybe I could come with you on your travels! Hehe! :D
xxx :)
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:34 pm

weasley be careful what you wish for .. dracula is described as tall drak and handsome :lol:
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Weasley » Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:36 pm

Hehe but so is Johnny Depp (and I would much prefer him!) In my dreams!
If the worst comes to the worst I'll settle for Colin Farrell...or Ryan Reynolds...
xxx :)
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Re: Valentines day

Postby whoopsie » Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:58 pm

rufio89 wrote:
alentines weekend is over. His daughter had a runny nose so had to come back. She couldn't go to her mums could she?? So our first valentines and weekend together (in 9 months) is, in my opinion, ruined.

I know it must be hard being a Step-Mum figure Whoopsie, but you do have to understand that his daughter HAS to be his priority. I'm not saying that it's easy, it must be an awful situation to be in, but you've got plenty of years to have nice valentines days together, and it'll be your anniversary in a few months, which is better, because it's your OWN special day, and didnt you say you were going away somewhere for your 9 month anniversary?


Well, we were supposed to, but that got put on the back burner so the three of us can go away. He promised me that too, it was supposed to be this week.

I know she has to be priority, and she is ill, but her mum is a mile from his parents where she was staying. We were out and had to cut our day short. I had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks.

I've got a lot of thinking to do...
=^..^=
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Moose » Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:23 pm

Hi Whoopsie,
I'd love to say it gets easier but......
My gf has three kids, one of whom lives with us, and is much older than your other half's daughter. It's HARD. There is guilt and soul searching all the time, and if you're not really into kids it can be virtually impossible. All I would say to you is that you need to either embrace his daughter pretty much as your own and accept in your own mind that she is going to be there forever (something I didn't do - I always thought it would all work out and they would do their own things) or not. And the not means leaving, because he is never going to put you before his daughter (and you probably wouldn't actually want him to because you would question what kind of man he is if he did). There are probably going to be a lot more disappointments with regard to days out, holidays (holidays with someone else's child are an experience...), anniversaries, weekends, chill-out time, lie-ins etc.... so if you're not up for it, don't get further into the relationship because it will be so much harder to leave. It's also hard because you know that feeling that way evokes responses like "the kids are the priority" (we know) and "you knew what you were getting into" (we know).
That all sounds horrible doesn't it?! It's not meant to, but I have had such a hard time accepting that my gf has three other priorities and the problem is with ME, not her and certainly not her kids, who are actually all lovely people and they have accepted me. I probably wouldn't get together with someone else who had kids (if my relationship ended) because personally I do find it a struggle. BUT I love my gf and I do love her kids too. I just wish it was easier. Maybe you feel similar to me.
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Liquidius » Mon Feb 16, 2009 7:27 pm

Well said Moose. I completely agree.
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Re: Valentines day

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:34 am

Liquidius wrote:Well said Moose. I completely agree.


Ditto!
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Re: Valentines day

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:16 pm

On the flip side ..
I am a mum who has a husband who is not my daughters dad, there is a lot of guilt as you know how the non parent is feeling and you do try to make it up but kids are sick ,fall over and the other real parent is selfish and lets you down sometimes (alot). Its' like you get torn but ultimatley you have to put your child first and that makes you feel this sense that your partner feels second best but nothing you do can make up for that
Non parent also feels resentful of real dad as he gets away with not being the parent he should be and the burden of responsbility is all on mum and therefore on him too.
I think moose has the best solution which is to embrace that child as yours and all that goes with it and if you can't do that you have to leave
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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Re: Valentines day

Postby Pigglet » Tue Feb 17, 2009 1:36 pm

I know this is going a little off topic but would just like to add,

My ex boyfriend has a young kid. And on quite the flip side, it used to annoy me when he would put other things before his son... He was very lucky in the fact that his mum had the son regular on weekends but he used to prefer going to football or persuing one of his other hobbies rather than making time to see his son as often as he could! I would encourage him to have him over to our house for the night so he would pick him up. just before tea, then tea, bed and then straight to grandma's in the morning!

Moose wrote:because he is never going to put you before his daughter (and you probably wouldn't actually want him to because you would question what kind of man he is if he did)


This was part of the reason that I figured we didn't have a future together. I couldn't help but think that if we did have kids together, I would be left to all the parenting while he carried on as if nothing had changed!
Just remember, nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. :D x
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