:( He made plans over my brithday..

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:( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:03 pm

I know this is silly, but I'm really upset. My boyfriend is emailing me at work, and he's saying he's planning a work night out to the dog races (note that hes PLANNING, not just attending). My birthday is Wednesday 1st, and he's booked the night out for Friday 3rd. He knows I prefer to go out on FRiday nights rather than Saturday nights, would he not think that maybe I'd have my birthday night out planned for then???
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:36 pm

If you haven't told him maybe he hasn't remembered.

It's no excuse he SHOULD remember. Make sure you tell him thats when your plans were going to be. I'd be gutted if my bf said I'm going out with friends instead of you.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:44 pm

Im really upset about this.

he'd literally just planned it, and I said "wait, that's my birthday night" and he said "oh well, I'll come out after"

the dogs dont close till 11.30, and it'll take them half an hour or so to get back into town, so he wont be in town till 12.

He PROMISED he'd come next time it was with my friends. I'm really really hurt.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby Weasley » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:07 pm

As the 1st is a little while off yet, why don't you ask him to rearrange his night out for the following week or the week before? A night out to the dog track can be rearranged but your birthday can't!
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:10 pm

Well thats what I thought he'd do (is really why I posted this as chitchat rather than a problem), but he's being really dense about it.

His compramise is "why dont you come to the dogs with me"

and it's like... maybe because I dont want to spend MY birthday with YOUR work colleagues. He's not even friends with them.

I'm really sad :(
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:59 pm

It's not on. It's your birthday and thats that. If you want to go the dogs fine, but since its not your plans then he should be doing what you want to do. It is only ONE day of the year as well.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:13 pm

I said to him cant he just rearrange the dogs, and he said he cant because he's already rearranged it once (so surely it wont matter if he has to rearrange again, but whatever), but he said he'll consider not going out.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:21 pm

It may have honestly been a mistake and he didn't realise - however it would have been nice for him to say I'll rearrange it again OR I'll still organise it and then I'll not go because I'd rather be with you.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:24 pm

It was an honest mistake dispy, so I know he cant help that. But it does upset me because if I was making plans around HIS birthday, I'd check what HIS plans were first.

Now HE'S annoyed with ME.

I'm not even mad at him, I'm just really hurt. It's a proper smack round the face.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:54 pm

He's mad at you because you are upset at him and the only way he can cope is to put the blame back on you.

You had a bad few weeks and then you had a good few weeks and then this again! Seriously he should have said he'll re-arrange it again!
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:58 pm

I know. We're going to be having words.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby rufio89 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:27 pm

I've decided not to talk to him about it today. I just dont have the energy, and I'm feeling quite emotional this week (hormonal I think), so while I know I'm in the right about this, I think I might start behaving irrationally in an argument, so I'm going to wait until I'm feeling calmer.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Mar 05, 2009 3:33 pm

Now that is a good idea.
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Re: :( He made plans over my birthday..

Postby rufio89 » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:32 am

We ended up talking about it (he brought it up) and getting into a stupid argument about it, although not for long. He's said he'll come out, but he was dead dead mardy about it so part of me feels like I wanna say 'dont bother', but then I think I'd be cutting off my nose to spite my face...

I told him he was acting like a spoilt child and that he should grow up, lol. We made up and I do feel a lot better, but I am still really hurt that we had to get into a row about it.

He said I hadnt mentioned it to him before (which is true), and that he feels like I'm making up an event so he cant go out with his friends. I can see how he would see it that way, but it does annoy me.

But anyway, he's said he'll come out so I best not dwell on being upset.
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Re: :( He made plans over my brithday..

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:52 am

Glad you got something sorted at least Ruth.
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