Getting back on the social scene

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Getting back on the social scene

Postby lowopinionated » Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:34 pm

Hope this is not too boring for people!!

Some advice needed;

Although I enjoy plenty of things in life, and have a few good friends I sometimes see, and hobbies I like doing at home, going places, reading and chatting to people on the internet about the same hobbies, I probably am missing something as I do most things on my own, but sometimes meet friends at the events I go to.

I've put my name down on a national singles group (not meant as a dating club) and have only been to one activity they did - over 3 years ago!! :lol: I felf awkward and difficult to speak to strangers there but a few people did come up and chat. Trouble is, it was a bit far away and many of the people were from afar. One girl I spoke to was quiet embarressing (I'm a bloke and over 30 BTW!). It was a dance party with a live band, but it wasn't really well attended though...........

Anyway, apart from hanging with my mates at hobby/motoring clubs and exhibitions/shows/racetracks and sometime going for a drink or a curry with an old childhood mate (who's married with kids now), I don't do much else socially, and didn't join in much or try to meet single women, for over 2 years due to concentrating on looking for a new job after I lost my last one last year (I now have a fairly good new job, I'm pleased to say).

So I'm a bit out of practice with meeting strangers and meeting new friends and lost my confidence a bit. I don't know why as I must have been confident at my job interview, and have got to know new people in the job now, so I don't know why I don't feel too easy about it. Groups of people I knew in previous singles groups, I don't see now as they "paired off" and even got married. I also lost confidence in things like dating because the last couple of women I dated were a bit odd and frightening and possesive. On dating websites, I was fed up with getting no replies, people stopping e-mailing and not explaining why and also only being a one-date wonder when I did get to meet anybody......... So I haven't been out with a lady for over 2 years now. I'm also concerned at meeting other "needy" obssesive women later on, like before.............

So these past 2 years or so, (as well as sorting my career life out) I've stayed single and just got on with my hobbies, but I feel as though I'm being left behind. Mates at work (like one middle aged bloke, who's a bit sexist I think) keep asking me what sort of women do I like and can't understand why I never seem to comment on the young girlies walking past in the corridor etc.... :roll: ](*,) I see attractive girls all the time, and of course I like pretty women (but they're not always the nicest to know........... :x but I don't believe in being sexist and am probably too old for a lot of them! I just say I've had bad experiences with meeting the wrong women, and either been a right berk, said the wrong things, didn't like their bad temper anyway and worried too much about "what women want" etc. Anyway there must be plenty of decent women in their 30's out there..........

So, this singles club is doing a Ceroc/Salsa dance night at the end of May and I'm wondering whether to go. I did get a bit of first time practice at a singles holiday a couple of years ago, (so one girl was happy to dance with me!) and was just wondering, if this was a good way to meet people in general and has anybody done it? :)

I wouldn't just do this to meet women, but hopefully if I can find out if the nearest group is doing any interesting activies, I may join in, but............ I'm just concerned that some people could get too clicky (like one group did on a holiday in Portugal I went to once) and I might get pressurised by other members who just want me to do what they want me to do, just because they enjoy it. It may be not something I like because I tried it before and didn't like it (like certain music concerts and going camping, which I don't really enjoy). I've had this before with a hobby group years ago (car club local branch) and the "persuasion session" went on all night to the point where I shouted at the bloke who kept on the most, to get lost, in the car park as he got really annoying! ](*,) I know they only wanted my company but; For crying out loud!!

Well I hope no-one thought I'd rambled too much, and hope to get some constructive suggestions not the sarcy drivel from silly people on the BT openworld forum, I asked a similar question on..........
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Re: Getting back on the social scene

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri May 01, 2009 8:41 am

Well firstly there is no harm in going to the salsa dance. If you don't like it you can always leave or just not attend anymore, if you do like it then you can do other activities. I found a site in my area where its for people to meet up, they go to the cinema, bowling, meals, pubs etc...they also operate a buddy system for your first few times...the site also advertises local groups and stuff...you should see if there is anything in your area. I only found the site 2 weeks ago so I've not been on any of their trips or anything but I think I will as they often do outdoor activities as well.
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Re: Getting back on the social scene

Postby Bel Bel » Fri May 01, 2009 10:01 am

you have nothing to lose, you have to put yourself out there or you definately won't meet people
ok so you had a couple of bad experiences but you came out alive and well so don't worry about them, keep trying, giving up won't achieve anything
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