I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

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I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:03 am

I'm SO mad!!!!!

As you know, I've been having problems at work, redundancy threats, the girls I work with being bitchy etc, and I have been doing my best to keep calm about it.

My grandfather died last week and my boss basically said that if I took a day off compassionate leave, even if I took it as holiday, that I would lose my job.

The woman I work with, her daughter has been poorly for a few months now, in and out of hospital, and while worrying, not life threatening (although I do appreciate that it must be awful for her), but basically this woman is allowed to have as much time off as she likes, without it having any impact on her job.

It's totally taking the lemonade! I know it's hard for her, but I'm having a rough time too! I think it's completely unfair, and she's just called in this morning saying she cant come in because her daughter "is feeling really depressed". SO??? I'm sorry, I do feel for her, but that is COMPLETELY unfair. What about when I'm feeling depressed because my life is falling apart? No, I dont get any compassionate leave for deaths in the family, I can have a day of if I book my days holiday 2 weeks in advance, and EVEN THEN, I was asked to change it so my colleague could book time off at the same time.

I sent the following email to my boss, what do you think?

Hi [Boss],

I dont want to sound completely cold hearted, because I do understand that [Her Daughter]'s poorly and that must be extremely difficult for [Colleague], and I really do feel for her, however, I don't think it's fair that [Colleague] can have basically as much time off as she likes without it having any impact on her job, and yet it was basically said that if I have a day off compassionate leave to grieve my grandfather, that I'd lose my job - even if I took it as holiday.

As I said, I dont want to sound completely cold hearted, but I think it's totally unfair. I can understand not wanting me to take time off at short notice just "for the sake of it", but I have been having a very difficult time recently as well as [Colleague], and yet I have to come in to work every day and "prove myself", on top of everything else.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:10 am

rufio89 wrote:yet it was basically said that if I have a day off compassionate leave to grieve my grandfather, that I'd lose my job - even if I took it as holiday.


grieve my grandfather and attend his funeral, that I'd loose my job.

You've not mentioned time off for the funeral so that might be ok; I just thought I'd add it in in case.

rufio89 wrote: I said, I dont want to sound completely cold hearted, but I think it's totally unfair


I think I'd take totally out of that sentence, or even say I think it's very unfair.

rufio89 wrote:and yet I have to come in to work every day and "prove myself", on top of everything else.


I have to come into work every day and try to "prove myself" to try and save my job, on top of everything else.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:15 am

Ah it's not a formal email it's more a witch at the boss that I'm friendly with, and I wrote it in a fit of rage which is why it's not the best english in the world, but nevermind, it's sent now.

But I am allowed time off for the funeral, but only because I kicked up a fuss, and I have to take it as holiday
Last edited by rufio89 on Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:17 am

Have you already sent that email to your boss? I assume you have from what you've said, but if not, I would just send him an email and ask if you can possibly have a quiet word with him today at some point as opposed to laying it all out in an email. That way you can explain yourself better.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:42 am

Yeah I already sent it. Perhaps not the best idea, but I am literally shaking with rage.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:45 am

Let us know if anything happens because of it.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:56 am

We're been having a conversation back and forward. I'll paste it in here:

He says:
To be honest, the timing couldn't have been better. This only emphasizes one of the points I've been making all along. I had more talks with [Director] last night about it, it's got to the point for me now, if there isn't a damn good reason for my opinion being ignored then I wouldn't want to manage here any longer....and I told [Director] as much last night. I really cannot do anymore. I have totally noticed the effort you've put in, and you really are just proving what I've said all along about you.

Your not being coldhearted, your just stating facts. At least your not telling tales to [Director]!


I say:
I just have a strong feeling that whatever happens, and whatever I do this month, that it's going to be me that goes regardless of how good I am, or regardless of how bad [Colleague] is, whether that's what you're being told or not, and that the only reason I'm being kept on is to make things simpler in July when [Colleague] and [Other Colleague] are off.

I'm really angry about this, I dont see why [Colleage] should get a day off because [Her Daughter is] "feeling depressed". She's almost 16 for gods sake, she can get on the bus and take herself for a check up, I certainly wouldnt have had anyone holding my hand at that age.


He says:
Is that the reason she's had the day off? wow, that's pretty lame. Sometimes I don't know what is happening, 1 day I think your safe, the next your not, then the next you are.
I figured that fact you seriously want to go travelling is because you don't think your going to stay here. As soon as I know either way, I'll let you know.

Hows your head today anyway?


I say: (in between recieving that email and sending this one, the other girl here explained why colleague was off).
My head is fine thanks.

Yep, see. It's a f-ing joke.
She's going to have blood tests for f-s sake, I had millions of blood tests when I was at school and no-one ever came with me!


He says:
It should be all the extra ammunition I need to be honest. I do feel sorry for [Her Daughter], she's had a tough time, but by being wrapped in cotton wool, she's gonna find it tough on her own when she flees the nest.
You had millions? Wow.....you must have puncture points all over your arms and legs then!


I say:
Dont get me wrong, I dont think like "get over it", I think she's having a rubbish time of it, especially during exams, but I just dont like the fact that [Colleague] can just basically decide whether or not to come to work on a day to day basis.


He says:
Lol I know, your not "that" heartless.
I feel sorry for Amy and it's not easy for Julie, but everyone has problems in there life from time to time, and to be honest going to work should be your priority. Who wants to have staff working for them that don't give a jelly?



Ive not replied to that one yet.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby m_m » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:42 am

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope that is not a problem x
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:43 am

No, she just called and spoke to the other girl that works here. GRR
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:44 am

Yeh, I don't get why he didn't know the reasons behind why she's off either.

One thing I will say is that the whole thing sounds very unprofessional. I know each workplace has a different way of going on, but your emails to each other are so informal! It almost sounds like you're speaking to a friend, not your manager.

Lastly, be careful what you put in an email as it can easily be forwarded on to whomever. I'm not saying that you're unjustified in anything you've written, but just a word of warning.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:49 am

yeah, I know they're informal, I deliberatly sent them that way through the messaging system rather than the proper system, although I am considering writing soemthing more formal and emailing it to him and the director.

I am aware that they can be forwarded on, but he wouldnt DARE, I've got plenty of emails he's sent me that he shouldnt have done about the redundancy situation. He asked me to delete them, which I did, but not after I forwarded them to my personal email.

But yeah, we're quite friendly with each other, but everyone in the office is with him, he doesnt like being "boss".
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby m_m » Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:49 am

I have removed this post due to identity issues, I hope that is not a problem x
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:18 pm

A lot of the time our bosses at work don't know why we are off. I have my boss, and then we have the managing director; I speak to whoever on the phone if my boss isn't in and ask for the message to be passed on when he comes in.

We also have someone at work who sounds like your colleage...he has an overdrematic girlfriend who is heavily pregnant; almost every day for the last 2 weeks he's been on the phone for hours or went home to see if she is ok....(fair enough) but surely she's a grown woman on her 2nd pregnancy, she should know if the baby is coming or not. This man at work also just doesn't turn up and he rushes home at the slightest thing, my son has a sore throat I need to go. But because work are so easy going it's allowed. I remember when I started they put him on probation becuase he was NEVER here.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby captainf » Thu Jun 25, 2009 1:57 am

I was gonna reply to your post in the thank crunchie its friday topic but then I noticed this one.

I think that its a ridiculous situation. Not you at all, but the director. Why is there so much inconsistency there? I have most respect for you standing up for yourself against your director. I'm pretty proud of you. Atleast you're standing up for yourself and standing your ground.

Back when I worked in a supermarket I worked with a woman that was equally as annoying as the one you are working with. Thing is the women I worked with either came into work or didnt without reason. Anyway I took a few days sick as I was ill and returned to work to be told that they do have the opportunity to sack me despite the fact that I complied with company procedure with regards to sickness and time off.. a few days later I was supposed to be paired with the women I mentioned before. I said to my boss 'ok, is she here yet?' and he said 'no, hopefully shes coming in' so I said 'what do you mean by hopefully?' and his reply was 'sometimes she just doesnt bother coming in' Anyway, she turned up an hour late and then decided to tell us she wont be working with me that day as shes going to work in the staff canteen instead but just didnt bother telling us.... I found it weird how I was the one threatened with the sack when I was the one who complied with the companies regulations. Another one of my colleagues said to me 'I dont think you're clever enough to fly planes' Combining this with the trash I had to put up with from them including an arguement started by my boss I ended up asking my flying school for a job and they gave me one in the operations department and also the firefighting department too (im so glad no plane crashed when I was on duty haha) I went back to the supermarket and told them I would be leaving with immediate effect to work at my flying school. They took the pleasure in telling me I had to give a weeks notice as it was a legal requirement to which I said 'my new jobs training starts tomorrow therefore im not coming back here' In the end they had to agree to the fact that I was determined not to do the weeks notice and I left. I had a great time at the flying school and as for the b!tch who said I couldnt fly planes, well I actually hold a pilots licence and fly planes on my own now and im not dead.. so that speaks for itself and explains why she works in morrison at 55yrs old.

Anyway ive pretty much waffled on, but the whole point of my story is that we've all been there at some point and sometimes you just have to stand up to these people and if you're gonna go down, go down fighting no matter what.. and sometimes, like for me, at the end there is a silver lining and I have every confidence that there will be for you too.
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Re: I think I'm going to explode!!!!!!!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:58 am

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:I know you aren't dissing all supermarket employees


I'm not arguing with you captain_flynn HOWEVER I did think my simple pointing out what you said wasn't specific to everyone and my quote above, would really have been the end of it!
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