Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

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Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby rufio89 » Mon Oct 05, 2009 1:57 pm

I have posted this in chitchat because I dont need any advice, I just need a rant, but feel free to offer your opinions!

Right, the ex boyfriend I was with a long time, and I posted about on here a lot, (lets call him Mark), we split up about 4 months ago now, and throughout that time, he's been coming to me and saying he's made a mistake and I've been kind, but firm in saying "no, not gonna happen" (even though I've missed him a lot and considered getting back with him).

Anyway, about 6 weeks ago, he tells me he has a date. I was a bit upset about it, but I tried not to stress too much about it as I'd been seeing other people too.

Ive moved house recently, and last week he called me to see if he could come round and see it. I really want to be friends with him so I said, sure, come over for a bit.

So he came over and we were watching a bit of TV, and then he gets all emotional and starts CRYING and says he misses me and loves me so much. He tried to kiss me but I didnt kiss him.
The next day I go on facebook and he's "In a Relationship" with the new girl!!!

So the other day, I was talking to him on msn (MSN! That makes this conversation ALL the more ridiculous), and I have a nice normal conversation with him, and then go out for my lunch. While Im out for my lunch I get a text from him saying "Do you think we can give things another go". I have had enough of this conversation, so I just ignore him. A few minutes later I get another text saying "Its just that my feelings for you havent changed. Things dont feel right with [new girl] and it feels so right with you. Please give me another chance". I reply saying "I wont have this conversation". and I ignore the rest of his texts.

Later on, I go back on msn and he starts talking to me again. He says he wants to MARRY me and he was seriously considering proposing to me. I told him he was being ridiculous.
He then says he's booked a HOLIDAY with his new girlfriend, at which point I snapped, and basically told him he was a ridiculous person, and he was treating this poor girl like dirt and he needed to sort his life out, and until he HAD sorted his life out to "seriously, stay away from me!".

RANT. lol.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby Skarlet » Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:06 pm

I have to agree he has been a ridiculous man.. but due to previous experience, you cannot remain friends with an ex, at least not this soon after breaking up. Its far to close, so I think you should stop chatting, and allowing him back in your life for the moment, as it seems to give him hope.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby rufio89 » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:16 pm

well he started trying to talk to me on msn on Saturday,
It went basically like this:

Him: "Are you there"
Me: "Yeah, why?"
Him: "How are you?"
Me: "Fine. Did you want something?"
Him: "Not really... just saying hi.."
Me: "K. Bye then"

and then today he tried to talk to me again:

Him: "I dont like seeing you online and not talking to you :( How you doing Ruth?"
Me: "Fine, I'll block you then. I'm very very angry with you, please dont talk to me".

and then I went offline.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby Skarlet » Mon Oct 05, 2009 3:23 pm

Its probably the wisest course of action.

Hope everything else is going okay.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Oct 05, 2009 4:01 pm

You really need to just cut him out of your life.
He has shown totally immaturity with his treatment of this new girl and suggestions of propsals.
Block him from msn and text etc
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby captainf » Mon Oct 05, 2009 11:08 pm

Basically, for fairness of everyone involved just do the honourable thing - talk to him, in person, and just say you dont want to hear from him anymore. I actually felt abit sorry for him, as it does sort of seem like he realises his past mistakes, but sometimes the damage is done and there is no going back. Additionally he has a girlfriend and the poor thing probably doesnt realise shes a rebound for him.

So to sum it up, basically tell him that you dont want to be friends. Be firm and honest about it. Long term you will be doing both a favour.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby snail » Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:38 am

It's also worth remembering that this man who is begging you to take him back is the same man who ended your relationship of his own accord (rather abruptly and hurtfully after a nice weekend away). I agree with the others, I don't think he knows what he wants from one minute to the next, and being friends clearly isn't working at the moment.

For what it's worth, I think he wants you now because he can't have you. There was no talk of marrying you etc when he dumped you, or that time he slept with you afterwards. I think he didn't expect you to be as strong as you have been - if you'd given in he'd probably have decided he didn't want you again by now. I feel a bit sorry for him, but more sorry for you and for his new girlfriend.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby rufio89 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 9:47 am

snail wrote:For what it's worth, I think he wants you now because he can't have you.


Yep. I've said this to him.

I said I basically had to talk him into agreeing to move in with me, and he certainly didnt want to MARRY me, and that I have no doubt in my mind that if he "won me back" that he'd soon get bored again. He likes the chase, and he always liked me more the less interested I was.

Ive definitely had enough of all his tears and drama though, I was quite touched and confused by it at first, but now it's just getting ridiculous.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby Skarlet » Tue Oct 06, 2009 10:10 am

I completely agree with Snail.

I don't think you should meet up again. If you think an email explaining it is fair, then fair enough, but I would just cut all contact.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 06, 2009 11:18 am

captainf wrote:Basically, for fairness of everyone involved just do the honourable thing - talk to him, in person, and just say you dont want to hear from him anymore.


It seems like Ruth has done that.

What you need to do Ruth is send him one last text or email saying you no longer want contact (optional) and secondly you need to block him from MSN, block his email, block his number so you won't know if he has contacted you and you won't be tempted to reply. For your own sake, please do it.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby rufio89 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:00 pm

dipsydoodlenoodle wrote:What you need to do Ruth is send him one last text or email saying you no longer want contact (optional) and secondly you need to block him from MSN, block his email, block his number so you won't know if he has contacted you and you won't be tempted to reply. For your own sake, please do it.


I really really dont want to do that.

I've told him in no uncertain terms that he is absolutely not to get in contact with me until I get in touch with him, and hopefully he'll listen. I dont want to have to block him out of my life, I just want him to stop behaving like a child. If he calls, I wont answer, if he texts I wont reply, and if he talks to me on msn I'll ignore him.

I'm not even upset about it, I feel like I've got some closure now? Like I've been wondering if I'm making the right choice not getting back with him, and by behaving this way, he has confirmed without a shadow of a doubt that I'm making the good decision, so I'm glad in a sense.

and I DID feel bad for him before this, but he's treating this new girl like absolute dirt and it makes me think that hes just THAT kind of guy.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 06, 2009 1:11 pm

You have to feel sorry for the new girl he is with.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby rufio89 » Tue Oct 06, 2009 2:04 pm

I feel really sorry for her. She's probably all happy thinking "ahh, lovely new boyfriend, going on holiday" and happily falling in love with him.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Tue Oct 06, 2009 2:46 pm

Not being rude but isn't going on holiday this soon a bit too quick? If his holiday is a weekend away maybe its ok; but to be going on holiday just the two of them for a week or 2 weeks is a bit soon a bit early.
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Re: Rant: RIDICULOUS MAN!

Postby snail » Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:30 pm

I agree: perhaps he told her lots of over-the-top stuff about how much he liked her (it seems to come easily to him) and she was swept off her feet. Hope not for her sake.
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