Personal Development

[Tarantula]

I think this is a subject that oughta be of interest to everyone on here. After all, our problems and issues rarely have a straightforward, practical solution. More likely is that they stem from deeply-embedded and core psychological routines mainly resulting from our childhood and other experiences... So.

I thought it'd be nice if we all pooled together our personal development repertoire of books, public speakers, inspirational art and all the rest of it; what makes you want to change your life for the better? What inspires you to be a better, more developed individual?

I'll start it off. I highly reccommend the following:

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey - exactly what it says on the front: powerful lessons in personal change. This book has really helped - and is currently helping - to put me in the driver's seat of my life. Buy it, read it, use it. You may not know the full scope of your potential to whop a$$ at life if you do not.

Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood - this literally changed my life, by changing the way I see relationships and my role in them. Most of it can be applied to men who love too much too. As someone who mindlessly went from one relationship to the next throughout my teens - not as a result of 'standard' teen behaviour but actually because I was needy and co-dependent - it helped me to see that I would never find someone who I am genuinely happy with until I worked on my own life and dreams. Buy it if you deep down know that you settle in relationships because you need to be with someone, even if it's someone who you're not actually happy with.

Make Every Man Want you by Marie Forleo - the title is just a gimmicky sales pitch to make you get the book, expecting a list of quick fixes. Then you open the book and realise that it is in fact a powerful, straight-to-the-jocular tome of how to transform your inner game as a woman, and it is written in such a straightforward yet profound style. I've read it over and over, and every time I do, it makes me feel so empowered, like I can do anything. Ironically, by the end of it, making men want me is more or less the last thing on my mind - and that's the whole point!

...

Anybody else got any reccommendations? It doesn't have to be books. I just wanna hear about whatever you do/read/watch/listen to etc, for yourself and by yourself, whenever you think to yourself 'right, now what can I do to take my life to the next level?'

[Tarantula]

Waaaah nobody cares.

[snail]

Aw, B_C.

I've been meaning to post a reply but I haven't had the time or energy just yet. Work is a bit hectic, what with catching up after the holidays, battling winter ailments, and covering for all the people who are off work with their winter ailments, and I would guess a lot of members are in the same boat.

[reckoner]

Me too! Just had to get through Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras, Nicaragua and Costa Rica to Panama. That's all done now so here goes:

Film: The Man From Earth - not a self-help movie in any way, but unbelievably uplifting in terms of opening your mind to wild possibilities.

Film: What The Bleep Do We Know - how quantum physics can change your life. Bit cheesy and annoying in places, but to give you a taste: they do an experiment with glasses of water and tape pieces of paper with words written on them to the glasses and then observe the changes in the water's molecular structure under a microscope. You won't believe how different the molecules of water with 'THANK YOU' taped on to it are compared to the glass with 'YOU MAKE ME SICK' taped to it. One is beautiful, one is terrifying, and you can guess which is which.

Book: Outliers - The Story Of Success - haven't read it but highly recommended by Dad, sounds fascinating. How Bill Gates, Steve Jobs et al achieved success; some luck, some timing and 10,000 hours worth of hard work, apparently.

My personal strategy: think of my hero, my role model and imagine what they would do in whatever tricky situation I'm in; in my case, "what would Phoebe [from Friends] do?" Or my boyfriend: "What would The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince do?"

And finally: Magic 8 Ball.

[reckoner]

Another recommendation from Dad (which I haven't read but intend to):

Book: Happiness by Matthieu Ricard

My Dad is totally trustworthy, honestly.

[snail]

As a rule, I'm not big on popular self-help books - I think they are gimmicky, simplistic and rigid. They seem to be written by journalist types rather than psychologists, and I think they may well do more harm than good. Having said all that, there is one book in this genre I do turn to, Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. This was recommended by my counsellor after I finished psychotherapy, to help me hold on to some of the things I learned. It is written by a psychologist, and talks of the instinctive nature of women, and what it means to be a woman, regardless of culture. This is developed through the medium of story-telling - the author re-tells traditional stories from all cultures that have endured over the centuries, and discusses what these stories can tell us. The implication being that they contain deep truths, which is why they are told and re-told. The book is designed to help you understand yourself more, rather than to change anything as such. While parts of it can be naive or cloying, overall it is an amazing book. My copy sits next to my bed so that I can pick it up any time - it is never put away. Whenever I'm feeling far from myself, this book always grounds me.

Other books which have taught me a lot about life and myself are the novels of George Eliot - all of them, but especially Middlemarch and Daniel Deronda, and the poetry of Peter Porter and Keith Douglas.