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Postby markh » Thu Jan 22, 2004 8:44 pm

Never buy a dwarf with learning difficulties. It's not big and it's not clever.
When all things in life seem blue,
And there's nothing you can do,
There is One you can turn to,
His name is Jesus, He loves you.

Don't look before you leap, you'll only decide to sit down.
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Postby misatok11 » Fri Jan 23, 2004 2:51 am

2 monkeys in a bath, 1 says "ooh ooh ahh ahh!!!" the other says if its too hot put some cold water in!

Notice the monkey theme? :wink:
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Postby misatok11 » Fri Jan 23, 2004 3:41 am

A man in a hot air baloon is hopelessly lost so he shouts down to a young chap beneath him, "you down there! can you tell me where i am going?"
"certainly!" replies the young chap
"you are on a heading of 190 travelling at 4kts, heading out towards sea at a height of 100ft and you have a loose gas hybrid connection"
"Thats remarkable," say the man in the balloon
"you must be an engineer!"
"And you sir are most definately a pilot, you look down on others, havent got a clue where you are going and you are flying an unserviceable vessel!"
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Postby Enigma » Sat Jan 24, 2004 3:36 am

A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The
woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jeeves, the
rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late,
and that he should just enjoy his evening.

As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time
at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to
stay there, as several of his important clients were there.

As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jeeves sitting by
himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her,
and led him into the master bedroom. She looked at him and
smiled. "Jeeves," she said. "Take off my dress. "

He did this carefully.

"Jeeves," she continued. "Take off my stockings and garter."

He silently obeyed her.

"Jeeves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties. "

As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

She then said, "Jeeves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes
again, you're fired!"
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