Rape - From "Teenagers"

This area is for general aimless chit chat.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Postby Llisa » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:20 pm

(Llisa rolls her eyes in exasperation)

Fidel, we're talking about rape. Not politics or the differences between countries. Rape is reported on in all countries around the world.
HE has all the answers

The wait for that perfect someone may be long and painful, but the payoff lasts even longer, and is the most painless thing in the world.
User avatar
Llisa
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1509
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2003 6:01 am
Location: Right Here

Postby Fidel » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:21 pm

But a lot of terrible things aren't reported in the news rape is one and that is one as well
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.
User avatar
Fidel
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2014
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:12 pm
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male

Postby Llisa » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:23 pm

Of course not all bad that happen in this world are reported...there just isn't any possible way to do it.

But a lot of terrible things aren't reported in the news rape is one and that is one as well


What is one as well?
HE has all the answers

The wait for that perfect someone may be long and painful, but the payoff lasts even longer, and is the most painless thing in the world.
User avatar
Llisa
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1509
Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2003 6:01 am
Location: Right Here

Postby luvva » Fri Feb 06, 2004 7:37 pm

Yeh but a lot of rapes go unreported because people just want to forget about it, obviously they don't want to have to live through it all again but then I think I would want to because you don't want it to happen to ther girls.

I would hate it if because I didn't report a rape that another person was raped, it would be just terrible if because of me another persons life was ruined.
User avatar
luvva
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1017
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:24 pm

Postby Mr.L » Fri Feb 06, 2004 8:20 pm

I dont think the press will immediately concentrate on a russian rape and ignore an american or english one.

2 people i know have been raped. One was horribly raped, she was only 12 and a group of 6 drunk girls raped her. Were good friends but its jsut terrible that this sick twisted act is alive today in our "new generation". Shouldn't we in the 21st century be able to stop these monstrous acts?
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Mr.L
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 582
Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 9:57 pm

Postby saz » Sat Feb 07, 2004 3:38 pm

One huge worry is that no one will believe you and reporting it will make things worse. I just wanted to forget about it. I hope that he hasn't done it to someone else but you dont know do you?

I dont think he thought about it, it happened in the heat of the moment when things weren't going the way he planned. What made me so angry, more than i can describe is how he didn't think he had done anything wrong. He still phoned me afterwards expecting to see me and never apologised. Watching the recent Eastenders story line with Little Mo made me realise what a stupid position i put myself in.

I think the times have changed a lot and victims are treated with a lot more respect than say 30 years ago, when it was a taboo subject. Something i find hard to accept is false accusations and do people not realise the effect this has on real victims?
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby luvva » Sun Feb 08, 2004 4:52 pm

Yeh...I think it is horrible how people make false accusations. For a start it has a horrible effect on real rape victims and secindly it's just plain sick, why would you ever want to make something like that up! :-?
User avatar
luvva
Permanent Fixture
Permanent Fixture
 
Posts: 1017
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2003 5:24 pm

Postby Mr.L » Sun Feb 08, 2004 7:27 pm

Humans do sick things. Rape is disgusting. I feel sorry for those who it effects because it can lead them being lonely afetrwards as they feel threatened by people, anyone.
Pretty Girls Make Graves
Mr.L
Part of the Furniture
Part of the Furniture
 
Posts: 582
Joined: Tue May 20, 2003 9:57 pm

Postby Fidel » Sun Feb 08, 2004 8:04 pm

The high court case I attended for Work Experience was a rape trial. As an independent I saw the man as not guilty or Not-Proven but the jury were obviously prejudiced towards the crime
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me.
User avatar
Fidel
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2014
Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2003 10:12 pm
Location: Edinburgh
Gender: Male

Postby Suzie » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:03 am

Rape is the worst thing anyone can go through in my eyes, I have been there and it was one of my ex blokes that did it. I stayed with him for 5 years cos I was so scared. It took me ages to trust James (current ex :o( ) I just don't know how someone who says that they love you and want to marry you can do such a thing over and over again, they are sick. I never reported it as i was so scared of what he would do to me whcih is also the reason it took me ages to find the courage to leave him.
User avatar
Suzie
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2003 12:59 pm

Postby worstfriend » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:40 am

My boyfriend raped me when i was 14. He was 20. I didn't tell anyone but a few friends. I didn't want to report it because i didn't think anyone would believe me. I also thought that if i went to court everyone would find out i had been abused when i was little and i would be seen as a whore (my abuser told me i was one all the time, and by then, i believed him). On top of that i was a bit hazy as to what rape was. I mean i said no, and i didn't want to, but i didn't fight him or scream or anything. I just let it happen. For some reason i thought if i didn't fight then at least he wouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing how much he was hurting me.

In a way i'm glad i didn't take it to the police. I know a few people who have tried and who have been let down by the courts, and they are bitter years later. I have all but forgotten now, i've sort of integrated it into the things which make me who i am, and now i don't need to think about it.

You can get over it, with time and love from the poeple around you.

WF
worstfriend
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 438
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: Scotland

Postby Suzie » Mon Feb 16, 2004 2:32 pm

When I got with James he wanted to know everything that I had been through with my ex, I found it so hard to tell him and when I did he was so hurt and he blamed himself for not protecting me against what I had been through, he cried for ages, I don't think he ever let it go what I had been through and I think it was one of the things that split us up in the end. I really love him still and I want him back so much but he needs to let go of my past and also let me let it go. I wont ever forget it but I just dont want to be reminded of it constantly. I find it so hard to trust men now, I only trust James and a few of our male friends (we share the same group of friends) it is really hard and I hate to see James still beating himself up over something he couldn't have stopped anyway !
User avatar
Suzie
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2003 12:59 pm

Postby worstfriend » Mon Feb 16, 2004 4:08 pm

My boyfriend is cool about what happened. He never mentions it but is immediately available to talk about it if i need to. He'll hold me for hours if i say i need a hug and not even ask why if i don't want to talk about it. I think some men find it very difficult to deal with rape, especially of an ex or current girlfriend. I think it might be part guilt over the failure to protect (even though often there's nothing they could have done) and part shame that another man, like them, could have done something so terrible(even though they are not responsible).

I too found it difficult to trust men after what happened, and for a long time used to pity any man i slept with, as i felt disgusted that they 'gave in' to what i saw as disgusting and base impulse. Now i have a healthy sex-life with someone i love, i can see the massive difference between loving sex and abusive assualt.

In my mind sex is about love and closeness and trust. Assault (abuse, rape) is about power and control and anger usually. SInce i realised this, the two have been seperate in my head, and my flashbacks have all but stopped.

WF
worstfriend
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 438
Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2004 1:39 pm
Location: Scotland

Postby Lesley-Anne » Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:35 pm

I was raped on friday (the 13th! :cry: ) i was at my ex boyfriends house and was staying with him (we're really close best friends - who still happen to kiss n stuff :wink: lol) and his friend was there and we all got quite drunk n me n my ex spent the whole night flirting and stuff but then i got cheesed off with him b4 we went to bed (we were in the double bed 2gether n his friend was supposed to sleep on the single) and his friend came in to sit bside me to cheer me up and i ended up falling asleep hugging into my ex and i was woken up by his friend raping me :( so i woke my ex up bt didnt tell him wot hapened and he hugged me all night but i was freaked out when he tried to give me a good morning kiss cus i just felt horrible :( i ended up telling him what happened and he made me feel better but i felt weird 2day when a guy eyed me up - his friend left without coming to see us in the living room or saying bye :-? soz for this being long but i had to get it out :-?
User avatar
Lesley-Anne
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Sun Jun 22, 2003 12:07 pm
Location: Glasgow, Scotland

Postby Enigma » Mon Feb 16, 2004 11:08 pm

Lesley-Anne perhaps you should start a topic about it, since this is a general Chit Chat topic.
Enigma
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2084
Joined: Mon Sep 02, 2002 12:36 am
Location: Greater Manchester, UK
Gender: Male

PreviousNext

Return to Chit Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests

cron