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Positives about NOT being in a relationship!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 12:35 am
by Danni87
Hey Guys!

I have been visiting a thread where i have a good old moan about being single. However i thought to myself. Hang on a sec, being in a relationship isn't always that fantastic, and to all those fellow singletons out there, we should dwell on the positives of the single life.

For example, we can go out and have a fantastic time guilt free flirting, the average age of people today is like 80 so we all our lives to be in a relationship! I think we should appreciate and enjoy being single.

Okay, i know sometimes its lonely but i think we should all stick together and help each other out and realise the positves about being single!!

ENJOY NOT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!!

Danni xxx :D

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:09 pm
by Seaside Belle
Yes! And double yes!

Although I've had a recent split with someone this is exactly how I'm feeling!

Good things about being single are:

- Spreading out in your sleep, star fish style and getting up when you want without being disturbed!
- Not having to shave your legs EVERY day!
- Realising your friends care deeply about your wellbeing and think of you as a person to be cherished!
- Having the time to try new things, without having to first think about somebody else.
- The excitement of possibility
- The chance to shape your own future and the independence to grab opportunity
- Guilt free flirting with everyone!
- The knowledge that you are ok with yourself alone and you know who you are and the acceptance that a future partner will complement your life rather then complete it.
- Being about to eat coco-pops all weekend if I fancy it
- Being selfish and slobbish (not sharing the ice cream out of the tub that I am eating in front of kid's telly in my pj's)
- Manipulating sympathy and entertainment from those who think relationships are everything in the universe
- Not having the constant pressure of 'do you think you'll get married/live together/have children' etc


Now, its not like I want to be single forever and there are loads of great things about being in a relationship but you're much more of a catch (and will be having a much better time!) if you are a fun, positive, busy person then some moany old sofa slob who will be more likely to chose the right partner in the future.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:13 pm
by Rob01
But I hate being single.

Benefits yes, but being in a relationship, being in love, beats ANYTHING being single can do.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 2:40 pm
by X_Smiler_X
I agree with Rob01....If you have been a an abusive relationship, you are led to think/feel being single is the best thing for you. But when your currently in a loving relationship, you really can't beat love - it's the best feeling ever.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:03 pm
by kitten
I'm with you two I have some bad relationships. But I am not good at being single!

I need someone to come home to and tell me everything will be alright. My husband has never stopped me doing what I want to do (well most of the time!)

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:08 pm
by Lorelei
Love is wonderful, but I think there's also a LOT to be said for having nobody to answer to. Even the most loving relationships can be quite invasive. While, like Seaside Belle, I may not want to be single forever, I think it's important to enjoy the freedom and opportunities that being single provides, rather than focusing on the negative aspects!xxx

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 3:54 pm
by Rock_Queen
both times are good for different things, love is good, yet freedom is also good (to sum it up in a nutshell)

Life is way too short to yearn for one or the other

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 4:24 pm
by Danni87
exactly, ok sometimes being single sucks but we must embrace being single when we are. Otherwise if we can't enjoy being on our own how can we appreciate what we have with somone else.

Surely others find us singletons more attractive if are happy with ourselves and realise that being with them isnt the end all and be all.

I agree with seaside belle too. I dont want to be single all my life but i want to enjoy it while i can!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 4:41 pm
by Wordman
Not having to share the duvet.

:D

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:22 pm
by Mem
Rob01 wrote:But I hate being single.

Benefits yes, but being in a relationship, being in love, beats ANYTHING being single can do.



snap.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:33 pm
by Seaside Belle
But fellow singleton's ... who is going to want you if all you want is a relationship! Personally, this would turn me off a potential partner. If you can't be happy with just yourself, how can you make another person happy?

When its good, or even ok, relationships are cool but if it isn't working you're not helping yourself or your partner.

I meet people all the time and in all honesty it probably won't be that long before I hit it off with someone and am ready to get to know them better. I've first dates and first snogs and that whole falling in love thing to come ahead but in the meantime I'll be having a ball.

I do feel a little bit like I'm cheerleading S-I-N-G-L-E at the moment but there are worse things that could happen to me!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:38 pm
by Jo
I was single for years after I got divorced, while I was bringing up my children - I LOVED it. I still live alone but am in a long term relationship.

I think its really important to be single for a good length of time at some point in your life. That's how you find out who you are, how you want to live your life, what you like and don't like etc etc. etc. It makes you stronger. Its hard to do that if you're always in a relationship.

When I was single I absolutely hated the way that people seem to think that being single means 'between relationships' or that you are 'looking' for someone - it drove me up the wall! Why can't you just be single and that's it?

Being single gives you the freedom to become yourself, truly free and independent - something I would never give up now that I've tasted it - relationship or no!

PostPosted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:00 pm
by kitten
Well I suppose I am never going to know who I am since it's been a long time since I was single and that wasn't long and now I am married.

But I would argue it hasn't stopped me growing up and finding things out about myself, perhaps I would be different if I had been single, but who knows!

However I must say it would be nice to have the duvet back :lol:

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 2:08 pm
by jimmy
being sile and being in a relationship both have its advantages and disavantages. i've been single all my life but i've gone from being single straight into a serious relationship and maybe possibly marrige.

i have to admit things have deffiniately changed, relationships are really only good when your in the honeymoon stage or are in love but even then you have to find the right relationship with the rght person. the odd balance can certainly backfire. You are hurt more emotionally.

it only hurts when ur single is mainly when the holiday season comes, i.e. christmas, valantines day when you need that attention. i have deffinaitely found my life easier when i was single, come and go as a please without someone watching over me.

but when your in love and the feeling is returned, it is the most amazing thing ever, but i feel alot of people take it for grantage and don't think what they have lost untill it is gone.

my advice don't go looking for relationships, let them find you, and i don't mean waiting at a pc all day hoping for a msn message from a random person (even though thats how i found my gf). Also when your in a loving relationship which has lasted for a long time, do not let things go, in love is rare and even rarer when the feelings are returned.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2006 3:17 pm
by Rob01
Seaside Belle wrote:I meet people all the time and in all honesty it probably won't be that long before I hit it off with someone and am ready to get to know them better. I've first dates and first snogs and that whole falling in love thing to come ahead but in the meantime I'll be having a ball.

I do feel a little bit like I'm cheerleading S-I-N-G-L-E at the moment but there are worse things that could happen to me!


That's fine for you though isn't it?

If everyone was the same, what a boring world it would be though, no?