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Postby Jen_eclaire » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:13 am

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Postby captainf » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:02 pm

Gosh you're so unbelievably like me!!!!!! Everything like that gets to me too!

I don't really know what to say to comfort you, but I do know exactly how you feel! I think that you've just gotta calm yourself about all this. Especially the whole environment thing. I know theres a big uproar about it right now but I am personally not that bothered. Britain isn't the worst country for it. The USA and China stand out as some of the biggest contributors to global warming. You won't be giving up your car anytime soon, but with the government you'll probably pay more taxes on it.. :roll: The whole air travel thing is rubbish too. I as a trainee pilot can tell you that most of the old, environmentally damaging aircraft are mostly banned from the UK anyway for not meeting noise and emissions regulations.. its other countries that don't enforce that sort of ruling. So don't stop going on holiday!

You're right though, money makes the world go round and thats the unfortunate part of life really. If money didn't exist everyone would be alot happier because you wouldn't have to work..etc The only thing I would suggest to you is to continue to work and just save your money. Be sensible with it. :)

As you've probably figure out, we live in a commercial world where everyone is either driven by money or advertising. Everyone feels the need to look a certain way, do certain things..etc because its pushed in their faces, or they feel a need to follow in the foot steps of that celebrity who is earning millions more than the rest of us. It's just how people are - be thankful you're not like that. Atleast you realise whats going on and are different.

Regarding to house prices, I don't know where you live, but working for a year never really gurantees anyone a place anywhere really. I would suggest working for another year or two, or atleast try to figure out how much you would be required to earn before you can live on your own. I am also in a similar position - my flying training is costing over £30,000. I am almost 23 and not able to leave home for a few years yet because of it. We're all in the same boat there, but be assured that we also get there in the end. Have you been to any estate agents and asked them about places? I'm sure that they could help you.

Regarding to marriage, I feel that people get married far far too quickly and keep up the things that they would do if they were single. I know of married people who still go out clubbing..etc regularly where alcohol fuels the night, and you just know thats going to lead to an accident eventually. I think that many people also don't really make the neccessary commitments that marriage is all about. It's most likely better if people just stick to one partner for a few years and let things develop. Rather than be together for a few months and decide its time to tie the knot only having known eachother for a short time.

Don't worry though. You're not likely to make any mistakes like that because you seem far too aware and thats great because most people are not like that.
Remember how the runway lights looked one night long ago when you were lost and found your way, and how-you still dont know?
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Postby Jen_eclaire » Wed Jan 31, 2007 1:50 pm

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Postby kitten » Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:32 pm

I feel much like you too. Thankfully I managed to get on the property ladder but only by getting married and having two incomes.

Now we want to start a family but at the moment there is no way we can afford the mortgage on one salary :(

We'd actually be better off getting divorced, selling the house and being homeless and pregnant to get a chance of a house!

Its a silly state of affairs espcially when years ago the British Empire covered most of the globe.
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Postby brfc » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:37 pm

its a mad world :)
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Postby captainf » Thu Feb 01, 2007 1:59 am

Hey

Like I said, don't feel guilty about the environment. Britain has been doing its part for years, its the other countries like the USA and China who refuse to move towards a more environmentally friendly world. :) Also, don't worry so much about flying. Its really good and fun! (for me lol) If you have any questions about flying feel free to ask me. Always remember, statistically, flying is the safest method of transport.

I understand that you're trying to save, is there not anything cheaper that you can go for as a first step? Do you not have a partner that you can move in with? That may decrease the cost a little. I understand the difficulty that you're in though because as I said, i'm very much so in a similar position. All I can say just keep going at it, save as much as you possibly can and eventually you'll be rewarded. Just think that as each day goes by, you're getting closer and closer to what you really want. :) If you're passion driven, like me, then the thought that you're a day closer should keep you going. :)

With regards to getting married, I do understand again, because I would love to be in a committed relationship myself however no-one wants to be with me. I don't believe clubs are the best places to meet people with regards to relationships and settling down. Are you with someone, or looking at the moment? Its quite possible you may meet someone at work, or you could try a dating agency. Although don't force it to happen, just let it happen naturally. :) I know its not easy because again, i'm very much so in a similar position.

Things will work out for you in the end. I believe that being in your twenties is the part of life where you're pretty much setting up your future - its where you're saving up for a place, or working towards the big dream occupation..etc which you hope to achieve by your late twenties or early thirties. It will all work out for you, just take each day as it comes. You'll meet the right type of people soon. You're going through some changes where you're becoming more of an adult, leaving behind the clubbing..etc and now focusing on the more serious parts in life such as getting a place to live, a partner and eventually a family.

It will work out, in time.
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Postby Jen_eclaire » Thu Feb 01, 2007 10:44 am

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Postby captainf » Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:55 pm

Hey

Sorry to hear that your boyfriend won't even move in with you. Why is that? It seems quite odd. :-? I don't know whats happened with your b/f or the dynamics of your relationship with him but if you can sort it out, either by talking to him, or if need be, finishing the relationship, it would be a huge weight shifted off of your shoulders by the sounds of it. Do you think that it's possible to come to a quick conclusion or not?

I understand, it must be abit daunting living with someone that you don't know. Is there not anywhere that you can rent near to where you're currently living? If all the options point to 'no' I think you're just going to have to continue working away until you eventually have enough money to get a place. I know its one of those situations that give you the 'sinking' feeling because you see no end, but if you carry on working hard you will be rewarded.

Don't worry, if you end up single it's not neccessary to find someone else straight away. Atleast if you was single you could just worry about yourself and get yourself established in a more settled environment. :) That would enable you to feel much happier and then you will be in a good position to think about someone new. I don't really know if a bar job would be any good. Again, it would seem too similar to meeting someone in a club..etc I don't know, I suppose it could work, but from what i've seen, the barmaid just seems to get alot of guys flirting with her and not much else. Naturally, if you want to settle down you will want to be looking for someone whos also looking for the same thing.

Changes are often quite scary and whilst they are occuring we do not like them because its different to what we're used to. Its okay though, don't be afraid of it. Things are changing and you're bound to make the best out of them and it seems like the changes could be positive. Keep working hard and you will eventually get your own place. Maybe if you left it another year or two you will be able to afford somewhere to live? I also think once you've come to a final conclusion with your b/f you will feel alot better too.
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Postby Jen_eclaire » Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:38 pm

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Postby captainf » Thu Feb 01, 2007 4:49 pm

Ah I see. Thats quite wise to have put it off then. Atleast you're not under eachothers feet all the time as that would have caused worse arguements.

You're working hard and thats the main thing. Eventually it will pay off. You've just got to keep realistic and try to achieve realistic goals when talking about getting a place. :)

Ah, I see now! I don't know really. If you would feel happy taking on an extra job then I guess you could. Ultimately that one is purely up to you.
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Postby kitten » Thu Feb 01, 2007 6:22 pm

I remember being in your situation. It seemed I'd never afford to move out, eventually my husband and I decided to rent a property to see if we could live together. Then we managed with the help of a bank loan for the deposit to buy a house.

We bought a house to do up and made a profit, we lived there for 18 months but it was in a horrible area on a council estate. We managed to buy a house in a nicer area.

But we are still paying back the original bank loan along with our mortgage which is affordable for both of us. But as I think I said before we want to start a family but can't pay the mortgage on one salary so are a bit stuck now!

With a bit of perservence and comprimise you'll get there. Like I said I had to live in a rough area for a while which wasn't a pleasant experience but one that enabled us to move up the property ladder to a better area.
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Postby Joe » Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:04 am

Jen_eclaire, reading your first post reminds me a lot of myself. I too get wound up and worked up about little things. Usually I will go through phases of having a particular topic to worry about. At the time it feels like I am justified in worrying about it, but a few weeks later that same subject won't bother me as much, if that makes sense. Then maybe a few weeks later I'll be worrying about it again.

You mentioned supermarkets, my current 'topic' at the moment is the way that they seem to be taking over from small, local shops who just do not have the power to compete. I'll often buy things in Tesco, I think it's great that it's cheaper and with more choice than a smaller store... but then I'll get a bit depressed at the fact that I have increased the profit of a multi-national company that make millions (billions?) of pounds each year by a few more pence. I'll worry about their trading practices and whether or not they deserve my custom. So, shop somewhere else, you say? Ah, but then I worry about whether or not the other shop deserve my custom either! :evil:

I should at this point out that I work for a convenience store, and a Tesco Express is due to open across the road from us in a couple of months time. We'll have to wait and see how this goes. We should be alright, and I'm sure with the Express stores comes an advantage, but these do seem to be on the increase and I fear that in a few years time, your 'local' shop will be a Tesco - which makes for a pretty charmless shopping experience in my opinion, and surely cannot be good in the long term.

Anyway, sorry that turned into a bit of a rant. However next week, I might be watching Match Of The Day, see a player dive, and feel depressed over the amount of diving in football these days. Something which I know is of minimal long-term importance, yet it really bothers me.

However, now though I have decided to sit down and talk about it with somebody. I occasionally inform my friends that I am 'feeling down' but do not go into much detail. But in truth I feel my life is being overshadowed by worrying over these little things (these are just two examples remember!) and I need to put a stop to this. I form situations in my head - 'what if this happens?'; 'what if I do this?' and worry about things that generally arent my problem.
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