Starting a Family

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Starting a Family

Postby kitten » Tue Aug 21, 2007 9:41 am

My husband and I are going to start trying for a baby soon, for as long as I can remember I've wanted children but now the time is getting close I'm really scared.

I've been reading books and advice about having children and the more I read the more apprehensive I become - I don't want to tell my husband my fears as its taken us so long to agree to have a family I don't want him losing interest.

But what if I'm no good at it. Obviously the whole birth process is not something I'm looking forward to but after that you have a life in your hands to nuture and help and its not like a toy you can put to one side.

Anyone else experienced similar fears and any mothers on here that can give me good advice and reassure me.
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Postby Lolly - Pop » Tue Aug 21, 2007 10:28 am

My friend had the same fears when she started her family. She was the same as you the more she read the more nervous she became. It came to the point that her husband hid the baby books and told her that there is such a thing as too much information! These books tell you everything that 'could' happen not what will happen. He told her that any worries that she had to speak to the midwife about and they could help. My friend says the key to raising a child is to ask questions but also don't be scared to just see what happens sometimes. As long as the child is in no danger everything will be fine.
Their baby is 2 years old now and a healthy little girl
BTW I think that you are going to make a great mum, I have read your posts and you seem like a really loving person :D
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Postby kitten » Tue Aug 21, 2007 11:38 am

Ah thanks. Think perhaps its time to hide the baby book :lol:
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Postby kitten » Tue Aug 21, 2007 4:24 pm

Don't know why I've become so panicy. Perhaps because I don't want to discuss my fears with my husband as I'm worried he say we should hold off and then we'll keep putting it off.

But it is a life changing decision and not something you can go back on. How have those of you with children found your lifes have changed.

I have plenty of time to devote to a child but at the same time I enjoying having my own time and at the moment studying as well which will obviously become increasingly difficult.

I also have finance to think of, I'd love to stay at home and bring my child up but I think I'm going to have to return to work at least part time to afford the mortgage.
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Postby The Lady » Wed Aug 22, 2007 11:32 pm

Hi Kitten
Don't worry! I spent the first 2 months of my pregnancy lying awake everynight before bed, think 'oh my god what have I done!!!'
I don't know what I did before I had my daughter. What did I do with all that spare time? Wasted it watching telly and eating too much as far as I can remember... oh hang on wait no that was my pregnancy lol...
I'd much rather bring up my cute, funny, smart, sweet little girl than have loads of free time for slobbing out. Playing with your kid is fun, buying toys is fun, picking clothes for your little one is fun, hearing them sing along to their favourite cartoon is fun, as is hearing them ask for a treat by saying 'pweeeeese' and then 'ta' is heart warming in a way that only a soppy pathetic love struck parent can understand. Just don't tell the single people, we keep it all secret so we don't hurt their feelings..
But for balance, here are the not-fun things. Lack of sleep (depends on your baby, some love sleep,some hate it, they only sleep for very short periods, day or night, then gradually sleeps get longer at night time... well if you're lucky!) mountains of washing up... cooking and eating your dinner while rocking an overtired crying baby, never finishing your meal / cuppa / episode of Corrie cos baby needs a change / is crying for milk / has wind / is just feeling peed off today. I'd say smelly nappies too, but really they're not too bad until they start having normal food. The first 3 or so months are pretty tough, then you kind of get the hang of it. If I'm honest I'd do it all again tomorrow, including the birth (24hr labour, back to back, 5hours with gas, then epidural, then complications and emergency C-section, but it wasn't scary, honest! I had my fella with me the whole time, just very excited about finally getting our baby)
My advice... take loads of pictures! Then you can go 'ahhhhhh' when they're no longer so cute!
Love Lani
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Postby kitten » Fri Aug 24, 2007 9:57 am

Thanks.

I mentioned it to my husband the other night and he's apprehensive too. He said he's worried about being a good Dad - I told him I thought he'd make a great Dad and he told me he's sure I'd make a good Mum which helps.

We may hold off for a few months now as we'd both like another holiday although I know I could travel whilst pregnant.
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Postby The Lady » Mon Sep 17, 2007 9:41 pm

enjoy your holiday, kitten!
Good idea to have one together as a couple before things, erm... 'get busy.'

XXXX
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Postby kitten » Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:30 am

Thanks. The Lady.

Just had a lovely time in Spain. Although had a bit of a panic before due to the cyst the dr thought she'd found but all clear now.
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Postby The Lady » Tue Sep 18, 2007 10:05 pm

Glad you had a good time, good news from the doctor too.

XXXX
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