I just can't do anything

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I just can't do anything

Postby alphamach » Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:32 pm

my life is stuck - I over analyze - I don't know the best next step to take.
So much I want to do I get overwhelmed.
I know I should take one step at a time but don't know the best next step. I might get on track but I come straight back off.

I feel like there is so much I need to learn still, that I cannot live a good life.
I want relationships, to be more fun & interesting, pay off debts, have more friends & connect with more people (women especially), and yes sex would be good too and doing interesting things, having holidays and fun weekends with adventure and activities!!

and yet so much other things I want to develop in myself too
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Postby morris mouse » Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:29 pm

alphamach wrote:I know I should take one step at a time


Hello,"alphamach"

Well,after reading your post,it's obvious that you've got a clear &
definite plan for your life (and that's good!!! :) )

BUT.......

The difficulty is,that,you're trying to solve these "goals" in your life,
all at once. 8)

Often,in life,everything takes time. (you achieve one "goal" while waiting
for the next) That's life!!!! :P

Just take one step at a time,and you'll be fine. :D
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Postby alphamach » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:11 am

I dont know if I can do things - even some things which other people do easily seem tough for me
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Postby morris mouse » Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:11 am

alphamach wrote:I dont know if I can do things - even some things which other people do easily seem tough for me


"alphamach",many thanks for your reply. :)

Having read it (your reply!!!) it appears to me,that,you have a very low self-esteem.

It would seem to me that,as you're unable to do even the easiest of
tasks,that you are suffering from deep depression. :(

The best thing for you to do,is see your doctor,as soon as possible
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Postby alphamach » Thu Feb 14, 2008 3:08 pm

thanks
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Postby peecee » Thu Feb 14, 2008 6:31 pm

Honey, Morris_mouse is right about taking one step at a time.

How long have you felt that things are piling up on you? I ask this because if it's relatively recent, it could well be that you are suffering from depression, and it would be helpful to see your GP about it, as M_M suggests.

On the other hand, it could be that you've always been a little bit timid (I speak from experience!!), and you've now decided that you want a bit more out of life, but changing into the person you want to be is scary and overwhelming.

Let us know what your state of mind is, petal, and we can come up with a great plan of action! :P


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Postby alphamach » Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:21 pm

right now my mind is in a different state - been a strange day.

im probably better to post later because right now im just in a not so great state
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Postby peecee » Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:28 pm

Oh, dear. :(

Honey, we're here when you feel like talking.

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Postby sovereign9841 » Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:41 am

It possibly is depression, i think its more you need a direction for you life that you just have no managed to find yet.
I get a bit frustrated at times because i want everything now, but the one way i try and think of everything is that everything will happen in due course, if you rush, you end up missing out, just skimming the surface of life so to speak.
I was talking to an old school pal before xmas and i was saying how lucky he was that he had traveled everywhere, there was places he had been to i had never even heard of, and he admitted that while he had traveled a lot, most of it had been rushed, so he didn't get to experience a lot of it, like over the course of a 5/6 days he visited 7 islands (i think it was Greece) but he couldn't tell you in depth about any of them... wheres the fun in that!
So dont be so hasty to do things, they will happen in their own good time, as long as you work at them.

You say you have so much to learn, but no one ever stops learning, again whats the rush!

now i go back to my favourite - lists :P
Clearly you know what you want.
Write a list out in order of preference & the ability to accomplish them. So for example you want sex, well you have to have women for that and for women you have to have some semblance of a social life, so social life therefore comes higher on the list than sex & so on. Women are also expensive creatures to keep lol so you will need money... you catch my drift?
This may not work for you, but it helped me some. Just remember don't become disheartened, anything worth having you have to work for, nothing is for free & if it is, you will pay the price at a later date!
So anyway, lets say self improvement comes first, decide what that is, more education to get a better job that pays more, pr just a better job or something else, thats down to you to decide, but in the mean time work on other things too, like say social skills - i am a HUGE fan of David DeAngelo & a guy called Mystery (google "the Mystery Method).
The secret is not to take on too much at once. Work out your plans and give your self a viable time frame to do them.
Anyways, life in the fast lane means you will miss most things & experiences will pass you by, take the scenic route, its more fun and you will learn more from it.
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Postby alphamach » Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:18 pm

I dont know guys. I feel behind in life and feel like I have to catch up.

at the same time I dont think I can. i don't think I can do anything.

I feel like im just stuck at being me, I dont wanna be me - I want to be the ideal me

no point trying to help me really - im a lost cause
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Postby peecee » Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:38 pm

Like sovereign984, I make lists all the time! :D

Then lose them... :oops:

alphamach, petal, you say you're a lost cause - I don't think you really believe that, or you wouldn't even bother posting here.

Right - what do YOU think is the problem? Is it connected to your other thread? Is it depression? Is it low self-esteem? Is it the fact that you don't like porridge? :) Please let's have an answer, sweet pea. It's the first step towards doing something about it.

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Postby sovereign9841 » Sat Feb 16, 2008 1:52 am

I loose them too! lol

But to the topic at hand, you cant have to catch up, catching up is say if your behind in your homework or an assignment for work. You cant catch up on life because you have to live each day as it comes!

As much as i hate to say it, everyone wants to be the "ideal them" but no one ever is, you just learn to make do & improve what you can. Although i have to ask this, are you sure that your "ideal you" isnt more about what you think your peers want you to be? thats never going to work because you are who you are, try and be something else and you will appear false, that thats not a good thing.

Nothing is a lost cause until you give up on it ;)
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Postby morris mouse » Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:39 am

sovereign984 wrote:Are you sure that your "ideal you" isnt more about what you think your peers want you to be? thats never going to work because you are who you are, try and be something else and you will appear false, that thats not a good thing.


I agree with "sovereign984"

Just be yourself "alphamach" That's all anyone can ever ask of you!!!! :)
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Postby alphamach » Sun Feb 17, 2008 10:11 pm

I do have to change myself - If I want people to treat me differently I have to be different.
Im not sure if its more about changing how I view myself or changing what I do - probably both!

* edit - Also I realise life should be full of fun. Living a great life, doing things. I just have not been doing anything.
I really want to just live life to the fullest, get the most out and give the most back too. Do you know what I mean

I just feel like im not making the most out of life and it feels frustrating.
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:42 pm

Reading all you posts I think your are definatley suffering from self esteem issues
My daughter had cognitive theapry for this and it made such a difference. People who had no idea she was seeing the therpaist were commenting on how they had notices a change in her, a mor positive attitude.
This has led to her being happier and doing things to achieve being happy in herself
As you say being happy with who you are is best, never waste life wishing you were someone else
Once you sort the self esteem the rest with naturally follow on
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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