Help please

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Help please

Postby nighthawk99 » Mon May 19, 2008 11:23 pm

Hello,dont know if I've got the right forum,cos I'm new here.
Where do I begin,I'm 60,male and single,I work when my employers/confidence allows.Since losing my estranged son in January aged 30,its just added to my problems!
Cant manage money,forever in debt-including rent,and seems though I cant get out of the spiral.Does anyone here know if I'd qualify for referral via my GP for some kind of professional mentoring/help?
He's been very supportive,but I think he's limited in what he can do.Any/all advice would be gratefully welcomed please.
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Postby miaow » Tue May 20, 2008 10:04 am

Hi

Not sure exactly about referrals etc, but you suggest you have already seen your gp - have you asked him what help is out there and who/what he can refer/put you in touch with??

What do you mean by work when your employers allow? For the confidence side of things i know this is a cliche but join a group - a drama group....make new friends and will occupy you as well as help you to overcome any confidence problems. Have a look at your library or online for any groups in your area.

There are national helplines i think about debt problems - have you tried speaking to anyone about it? I've just looked on google and found www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/ which says it is a free confidential helpline - dont know if it is any good or not but worth a start.

The fact you lost your estranged son may also be a problem, maybe you need to talk to someone about it to help you deal with it, even if you think your are dealing with it things like this sometimes are the root of the problem.

I'd go back to your GP, ask what help is available out there and get him to refer you.

message me any time.

xx
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Postby Bel Bel » Tue May 20, 2008 10:09 am

miaow has given some really good advice here

If you think you have depression that could be why you are finding it difficult to focus on anything

You could also try voluntary work as it gives back to other people and will give you something to feel good about, even if its just a couple of hours at the local charity shop
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Postby snail » Tue May 20, 2008 10:24 am

Regarding the debt, it might be worth asking your local Citizen's Advice if they can give you any help, or suggest anything. They see people with debt problems all the time.

Regarding your son and possible depression, could you ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor? I'm not sure if you meant that your son died or that you simply lost contact, but either way you might benefit from grief counselling.
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To miaow,Bel Bel and snail;

Postby nighthawk99 » Tue May 20, 2008 3:06 pm

Thank you all so much for your replies,I will certainly go back to my GP as suggested,but I do know that he's unable to refer me to counselling,having asked before.
What I meant snail,about my son,is that he died in January.I have contacted the local branch of CRUSE,but they never got back to me with an appointment.
Miaow,when you say message you anytime,do you mean via a PM?
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Postby snail » Tue May 20, 2008 6:35 pm

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. :grouphug: I'm not surprised you're struggling - it was so recent.

You might find it fruitful to see a different GP, and ask him/her. Could you ask to see one of the other doctors in the practice? Couldn't hurt. I quite often see a different GP if my own one is busy.

But it seems to me what you really need to help you with money worries and job issues may be a social worker - someone to give practical support and day-today advice. I would suggest contacting your county council's Adult Social Care department by email or phone and see what they suggest. And don't forget to see what Citizen's Advice have to say as well - they may know of voluntary organisations in your area that help with money management.

And in the meantime, contact CRUSE again - I would think you must need bereavement counselling, quite apart from any debt problems.

Keep contacting your GP, Social Care Dept., CRUSE and Citizen's Advice. Keep at it until someone gives you the help you need and deserve. All of these organisations are underfunded and they'll only help people who really need it - be persistent and convince them you need it!
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To snail

Postby nighthawk99 » Tue May 20, 2008 7:15 pm

Thank you so much for your kind sympathy.My GP has suggested I contact our local hospice for advice/help,apparently they can help even though my son died in another county.Trouble is I just haven't got the self-confidence at present.
I will call into our social services office as soon as I can to see what they can do.Re citizens advice,the local office here closed some years ago,so it's not really an option I'm afraid.
Another visit to my GP will be made to find out if he's able to suggest any other options.
It's nice to know that someone actually cares.
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Postby Bel Bel » Wed May 21, 2008 11:22 am

If you find yourself struggling and just need someone to talk to Samaritans is another option
Can you call the Citiznes advice instead of visting them, as you don't have one close by
My mum had grief counselling after struggling for two years after my nan died and it turned her whole life around. So definatley keep persuing it as suggested
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Postby nighthawk99 » Wed May 21, 2008 4:46 pm

Snail and Bel Bel;Thank you for your help and advice,it means so much to know someone cares.
I've been in touch with the hospice re counselling and have got to ring back tomorrow morning.CRUSE local office is only open 3 days a week it seems,so I will contact them next week if the hospice aren't able to help.
Regarding citizens advice,I've tried ringing my nearest branch but couldn't get through,however I will try again tomorrow.
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Postby snail » Wed May 21, 2008 7:12 pm

Please keep us updated, Nighthawk. :)
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Postby nighthawk99 » Wed May 21, 2008 7:18 pm

Yes of course I will,just getting advice on here has motivated me enough to get things moving.
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Postby Bel Bel » Thu May 22, 2008 10:26 am

citizen advice are often busy so you may need to keep trying a few times before you get through but don't give up
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Update

Postby nighthawk99 » Thu May 22, 2008 12:13 pm

Update as requested;The counselling secretary at the local hospice should be ringing me later today,also I have an appointment with my GP next Wednesday afternoon.
Still no luck with citizens advice,but I'll keep trying.
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Postby Pwif » Thu May 22, 2008 12:24 pm

You're going through a very stressful time, but I think the professional people will be able to help you. I do know that Citizens Advice are extremely busy, so please keep trying them.

I hope that you get the help and advice you need.
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Postby nighthawk99 » Thu May 22, 2008 12:27 pm

To Pwif;Yes it's very stressfull,but the help and advice I'm getting on here is helping greatly.
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