Both unsatisfied with Careers

For any other problem that has to do with the self.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Both unsatisfied with Careers

Postby u_l_g » Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:43 pm

My problem is quite broad. My boyfriend and I are currently living with his parents as we can't afford a place of our own yet (renting or buying). We are trying to save money but it's hard, mainly because we have so many unavoidable outgoings between us and don't earn enough to satisfy them and live on our own. I feel like at 24, we should be doing better then we are in our careers and able to at least support ourselves comfortably. Between us we have a salary of £31,000 a year.

I am the highest earner but I know i'm worth a LOT more in my industry. I'm finding it hard to be motivated in my current job because it lacks direction as well as a good enough salary.

My boyfriend is un-skilled compared to me and it'd a take a while and some hard work for him to be able increase his wage by a lot.

I feel like i should be doing something but i don't know what. We've spoken about moving away from our home town if there are opportunities elsewhere so i've looked around for other jobs (because it is my career that will decide the location rather then his) but every one i see i feel quite negative about and think of a reason i probably can't do it.

I've even thought of starting up my own business using the skills i have but wouldn't have the first clue about how to do that, or the confidence - i'd see it as too risky.

I don't think I have the confidence to go and get what i want. I feel like i should be like the people you see on the Apprentice who just go out and get what they want. All i want is a nice litte house in a nice area and a happy working life, so that isn't even much compared to all these high flying business people! I'm feeling like a failure. How can i get it together and start acting rather then moaning!?
u_l_g
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:20 pm

Postby Bel Bel » Tue Jun 10, 2008 9:31 am

Firstly don't feel a failure because you can't get out of home it is very difficult and hugely expensive. They say that men are usually at home until 29 now ( I don't know the stats for woman)

The average person earns £16K so you have already gone past that barrier

Instead of looking at risky moves have you just tried to look for another job with better prospects to start with?

Can you both do some evening work to get those debts paid off quicker?

Would getting some extra training/ qualification get you a better job? Can you b/f do some evening classes or a home course to improve his job prospects

Moving away from your home town doesn't sound realistic because you will still have the current debts and will need a deposit and rent in advance even if the rent is lower in another area

You are right there is no point moaning if you aren't going to action it but you are really the only one who can motivate yourself
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby u_l_g » Wed Jun 25, 2008 5:22 pm

My problem is simple. I'm not where i wanted to be in my life by now!

I'm 25 and i really wanted - at this time in my life - to be becomming a bit more financially stable. Have some savings and be looking at buying a house and then in a few years from now - start a family. The way things are this WILL NOT happen. My boyfriend and I are only just managing to tread water. Just paying the rent and getting to work and back and eating and staying alive is all we can afford, despite us both having pretty (supoosedly) decent jobs.

If we are only able to tread water at the moment, how on earth will we ever get the things we want from life. While my b/f is also frustrated i don't think he quite feels the urgency as I do as he is younger then me. I've only got 5 years to buy a house, get married and have a baby (I really want children in a few years or so - and i want to be able to give them a good life) I can't see that happening if in the two years i've been working since i left uni (and the 6 years he's been working since he left school) we have saved NO money! Living just costs too much (and i swear - we live REALLY modestly - one or two nice things but no nights out and nothing expensive or snazzy, ever)

And with all this inflation and stuff in the news i don't hold out much hope for things to improve?

I know there is no way anyone here can make all these things happen for me but i just need to tell someone how upset i am! I feel l ike my life is passing before my eyes while i constantly struggle to survive, never moving upwards to things i want out of life.

And to add insult to injury: Today i am putting my car up for sale so we can afford to rent a place, while two of my Bosses however (who already have lovely big houses and support 2.4 children happily) have been out today and bought gorgeous brand new expensive status symbols of cars! And here's me working harder then anyone yet having a life so modest i feel like i'm not even living! Where is the justice?
u_l_g
One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
 
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:20 pm

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Jun 26, 2008 10:57 am

I can honestly say I felt the same as you in my mid twenties.
In debt up to my eyeballs, bringing up a child, barely affording my rent after having to give up my flat because of negative equity (because my lame ex wouldn't pay maintenance), broken heating with no money to repair it and therefore a damp flat which gave my daughter asthma, I didn't eat everyday for the first 18 months of my daughters life as I could't afford it. blah blah blah

It took over 12 years to get a mortgage again once I was back on my feet and then I had to go with a high rate fringe lender for a year to
prove myself to the bank i've been with for 16 years. Horrendous payments each month.
The I got some inheritance and had to use it to pay off the fringe lender £8K to get out of the crippling deal. Life is unfair sometimes but you have to look at the good things and just try to improve where you can.

Things will change but you have to try to help yourself as much as possible. Like I said extra part time jobs for a few months to get the debts down. Go to evening classes to improve your employment prospects.

Yes the current financial climate is awful but your not alone and many people are in worse situations because they can't even live together in each others houses.

Don't feel jealous of the bosses because you have no idea what struggles they went through to get where they are now and it doesn't help to compare yourself it will just frustrate you more. If you want to compare have a look at poverty striken people and that might make you realise you may not be at the top of the pile but you're by no means at the bottom

I never thought there would be an end to my debt and stuggles but now approaching 40 I am finally comfortable but it has been a long journey getting here.

Not many people your age are doing great, yes there are always a few examples but on the whole your in the same sitaution as most in your age group
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female


Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron