should have left the past behind me

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should have left the past behind me

Postby annylou » Sat Jul 05, 2008 6:09 pm

i broke up with my childs father 2 years ago because he was a drug addict, it has been the best 2 years of my life not being with him, when i was with him he always went off with other girls but there was one inparticular i hated as she never left him alone. recently he was sentenced to 2 months in jail an althugh i wasnt with him anymore i supported him by writing and sending him money now and then and pictures of his child, when he was released he came to see his child the first day and asked us to stay at his house, it was here he told me that a girl had been writing to him, i was happy for him because he was lonley and now clean so he need to keeo busy, i rootedthrough his stuff wen he was asleep and found a letter off the girl and it turned out to be the one i always hated, i was mortified to think that hed got clean and wanted to make a knew start with her when he never could for me so i told him i loved him and i wanted him back so he dumped the girl, i never mentioned in the beggining but he used to steel off me, he burgled my mums house, he stloe from my work, he stole from my friends, family and i was nearly left with no one, why did i feel the need to tell him i wanted him back? god only knows, so he got back with me and i hated it from the word go and not long after being out of jail he went back on drugs, stole off me again and had nearly 800 pound off me in the last 3 months, we had a huge row yesterday and i told him i hated him and he said he wishes id have left him with this girl and that it was my fault that he was on drugs again, no he has gone away somewere and even though i know its for the best im so hurt an im so scared of him going and gettin with that girl, when we split for 2years he thought so highly of me and was sorry for all hed put me through, now he blames me and i worry that he hates me, why am i so botherd by what he thinks??? i actually feel like i want him to stay on drugs and i want revenge, why? belive it or not im training in helping work, how is this possible and when did i get so selfish?
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Postby suck0sess » Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:14 pm

If you were selfish you wouldn't have played a supportive
role when he was jailed.

Time to be selfish, or geared only towards making you and
your childs life as good as it can be without the waster in it.

If he lives long enough to realise his mistakes then he'll be lucky,
if he doesn't you can at least tell your child you tried to 'save'
the father.

Hope you get where you need to be.
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Postby Bel Bel » Mon Jul 07, 2008 10:08 am

This petty jealousy of another girl is ruining your life
Let her have him
If you do I bet she will end up hating him as much as you do
This is about him hurting your feelings and pride not really about the fact you want him
You feel the need to win against this girl but all you are doing is losing yourself and the effect on your child cannot be a good thing
Let it go - some battles are not worth winning
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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