How do you not let things get to you?

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How do you not let things get to you?

Postby rufio89 » Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:59 am

The thing that's brought this on is a conversation about drugs. But I get this feeling about a lot of things, so I could use some advice.

Last night, me and my boyfriend were talking, and he said something about a time he didnt go to work because "he'd just taken too many drugs". Now I HATE HATE HATE people taking drugs. He hasn't taken any in the time that I've known him, and I didnt realise he used to be a drug-taker until we'd been together for a while.

I used to hang out with people who took drugs all the time, and I got really sick of it, I hate being in that situation, I just found it really soul destroying.

My boyfriend knows how I feel about this. So when he said that about how he'd taken too many drugs, I just said "ohhh PLEASE dont take drugs while you're with me", and he just didnt say anything. And I asked why he wasnt say anything and he just said "I cant make that promise to you", then "It's not part of my plan, but I cant say I definatly wont do it". I got a bit annoyed, and said that I didnt think it was a lot to ask of him, given that it's not something he does as a regular thing anymore. He's 28 years old, I'd think he'd have grown out of it by now.

But anyway, he said that he didnt see why it was such a problem for me. That he'd understand if he took drugs and stuff all the time then he'd understand my annoyance, but he doesnt see the problem with once in a while. And he also said that I was a complete hypocrite because I dont count cannabis as a drug, anymore than I'd count alcohol as a drug.

I was really annoyed, and we ended up going to bed hissed off with each other.

But I've been thinking about it today.
He's right. I dont know why it bothers me so much. Usually if something annoys me and I know I'm being irrational I just ignore it, but this annoys me beyond anything else. It annoys me so much that I was literally shaking with rage at just the thought of it.

How can I stop letting things like this get to me so much? I am well aware I was being overdramatic. I would really prefer he never took drugs, and to be honest I dont think it's a lot to ask of him, but I'm not his owner, and he can make his own decisions. He knows how I feel so I'd hope that he'd consider my feelings before making any decisions if he were in the situation. But maybe he wont. I dont know, and casual drug use once a year or so would hardly be worth ruining our relationship over.

Advice please?
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Postby Millenia » Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:00 pm

Sorry hun, i totally agree with you. I absolutley HATE people taking drugs, i used to leave my friends in clubs when they were doing it i find it degrading and frankly disgusting.

When people are younger it can be out of peer pressure they take drugs or for experimenting, but your partner is 28 now, it's about time he grew up to be honest.

Why would you want your partner to take drugs and become someone he isn't? he could get into trouble (if it is an illegal drug) and the emotional side effects it has as well.

If you slept with someone else every now and again would you be able to tell your boyfriend that it's ok because you don't do it often? of course not.

Even if he is doing drugs every now and again, it can still have very serious effects, emotionally and physically. Plus, it makes you look very old. If you google up the long terms effects of drug abuse i doubt you would find many of them attractive looking. It destroys you inside and out.

Sorry if im being very blunt.

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Postby Bel Bel » Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:03 pm

It's hard to give advice becasue you already understand it's irrational and know you don't like feeling like it
At the end of the day you can't alwasy fight the true feeling inside you
Even if you agree to it that doesn't mean deep down your happy with it
Just let it go and hope it doesn't ever become an issue anyway
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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