p*rn

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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:51 am

He knows how I feel about lying. I've told him before I'd far rather hear "yes I did it" and be upset rather than "no I didn't" and then it eating me up and then "actually yes I did" and being upset again.
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:27 am

Well here is the conversation. Sorry it's long and a bit confusing


Him: I've had stupid porn ones appear up but thats it. Which is thereason my hyperlinks don't work

His hyperlinks don't actually work anymore...

Me: You are going to argue I'm 100% wrong anyway but it doesn't keep popping up and taking you straight through. Stuff may pop up but you have to click it.

Him: Yea which I did because of outlook. If you are that botered I will let you add a website filter with a password that I don't know.

Me: So from that I'm the bad guy

Him: No I'm just saying that outlook is stupid. It's broke my hyperlinks. But I'm saying you can add any filter if you want as a sign of trust

Me: So what about before your hyperlinks broke?

Him: It broke because I had to shut it off. Just can’t remember what I did

Me: You missed the point. I’m asking so whats your excuse of them before your hyperlinks broke and you had to click on them to get rid of them. Also filtering thing would be pointless, you have two computers and 3 in the house that you can use

Him: Good point with the other computers but I still never been on any chat website at least not on purpose

Me: Not a chat website. You are now avoiding the question

Him: How am I avoiding: Been on porn yes but not chat or anything
Me: But you said you’d clicked the porn chat because your hyperlinks weren’t working. What is your reason for being on them before your hyperlinks broke?

Him: I’ve never been on porn chat…don’t even know what it is. Yea I’ve watched the odd video but not talked or been live

Me: lies

Me: I do know fine well it’s lies

Him: Go on then because I’m amazed. Seriously

Me: Because I saw stuff with my own eyes which said you had

Him: Such as? I really can promise I haven’t. I wouldn’t go down that road again
Me: Such as stuff I saw

Him: Really haven’t. I can promise

Me: You told me that since your hyperlinks broke you had to click on the sites to get rid of your pop ups (your pop up maybe) but before the hyperlinks broke you clicked on them because…

Him: I never went on them before or after grr

Me: So they appeared out of no where? So before you said you clicked on them to get rid of the pop up…now you haven’t clicked on any. I suggest you get the proper truth and not snippets of it with snippets of none truths

Him: I have no idea what your on about. I said yes I’ve looked on my own free will at porn but not been on any stupid chat. Seriously now

Me: So why does your computer say you do then? It doesn’t just say it because it feels like it?

Him: and where does it say it?

Me: It probably doesn’t now. I accidentally came across it when I was searching for stuff on the net

Him: Seriously it won’t be something I was on intentionally. Remember I do download a lot of rubbish

Me: So in downloading it takes you to sites? And when hyperlinks were working the sites were on your computer how?

Him: I don’t get it. I said I haven’t been on no stupid chat. Seriously

Me: But you said you’d clicked on them once your hyperlinks had broken to close them

Him: No my hyperlinks broke on purpose. Outlook was opening my junk mail links

Me: So why were the sites clicked way before your hyperlinks broke? And why still afterwards when outlook had stopped opening them?

Him: Such as. Told you I don’t go on any. I’m not going to argue something when there is no grounds to argue on

Me: Well why was it on your computer?

Him: I have no idea. I still don’t know what your properly on about.

Me: You’ve got loads of porn chat sites on your computer or you did anyway…which you first said I only clicked on so they’d close yet now you haven’t clicked any…

Him: Porn chat sites? I only go on one site so can’t

Me: Chat stuff then…

Him: I really haven’t though

Me: Do you really 1000000% promise me that you haven’t and be happy in the promise that if I find out you have that it’s over no questions asked and you’ll happily accept the decision?

Him: Well yeah cos I haven’t been chatting or anything and no one has been on my PC. Still want to know what your on about. The only thing I can think of is if a video has web cam in the name

Me: The fact sites come up free porn chat or premium porn chat…as I so discovered

Him: That would be an advert

Me: But adverts don’t show up

Him: on? Its an advert on the website

Me: So because the site shows an advert is shows up on your computer? Or because it’s a pop up it shows up?

Him: no because it opens when you open a video

Me: But why not all the time

Him: Because it doesn’t. I don’t know why it doesn’t. It’s just how they advertise

Me: So I still don’t know why an advert or a pop up would show up as sites you’d visited and then I wonder why it shows you’ve visited a lot of these internet addresses with different names at the end

Him: You mean the names of videos then. Trust me it’s not a chat site it’s just videos.

Me: How can I trust you when you first said I clicked on them to close (option 1) and then you didn’t click them (option 2) and now it seems you did but it’s just videos.

Him: Eh? I thought you said I clicked on chat windows or something which have come up as adverts? Which come up because when you click on certain links it does that. And never denied watching videos. The only reason my answer is changing is because I’m trying to find out what you on about but you dance around it. Not my fault you don’t explain.

Me: I know fine well you have been on porn chat because I followed your link and I ended up on chat and when I went on hotmail at yours and you don’t properly sign out it takes me straight to your inbox which I saw a receipt for premium stuff and yes I looked today at your emails of my own free will and you’ve shockingly closed your live account. I want the truth now…
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:35 am

His reply:

Seriously. Been on yes but not chat. Was just a video. Not chat. I told you the truth that I haven't been on chat. I deleted the account yes so as not to go on it again. But like I said was just a video.


(I'd also like to clear up, it's not just a chat site that I'm angry at, it's porn chat) and to be honest I don't know how I feel about it). The premium stuff was videos...I'm assuming by the times he was on that that he wasn't chatting and that he was just sorting himself out.
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Re: p*rn

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:39 am

I dont know dipsy, it all sounds a bit dodgy to me. :S
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Re: p*rn

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:39 am

so you know it was chat and he is saying it wasn't? is that right
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:58 am

The premium stuff was videos, I think. I didn't look but judging by the times he was on, it was a video.

I've replied: I know fine well you have been on porn chat because I followed your link and I ended up on chat and when I went on hotmail at yours and you don't sign out properly it takes me straight to your inbox which I saw a receipt for paid premium stuff and yes I looked today at your emails of my own free will and yuo've shockingly closed your live account. I want the truth now...
Him: Seriously been on yes byt not chat. I told you the truth that I haven't been on chat. I deleted the account yes so as not to go on it again. But like I said it was just video.
Me: but you can just use any other site or just hide it more.
Him: No because one I didn't like it and it felt wrong and I just don't want to. I don't hide my email accound and I use the same email username and password for everything
Me: Just because if feels wrong doesn't mean you wouldn't keep doing it or anything.


It did take you to chat bits on the links I clicked, however he may have just been looking for videos. I don't know if he used the chat, I can't find out how long he was on the links; if he was on for 30 seconds of if he was on for 30mins.

I suppose it should be sorted because we've each said out piece and he's deleted the account, which should be the end of it.
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Re: p*rn

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:22 am

well he deleted it of his own accord and maybe he genuinally wanted to try it out but then didn't feel good about it
i think you have done all you can and he knows how you feel about it
remind him this has left you feeling hurt and he could do with making you feel special and important again
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:20 am

My only concern is that if it had bothered him and it didn't feel right why didn't he delete it himself rather than waiting for me to get upset about it. Also why did he keep looking at it, I mean it wasn't just once or twice which I'd say he was trying it...I know no one can aswer this except him :(.

Also I looked at his internet history at the weekend and he's deleted it ...or it was from Thursday onwards...i.e. he deleted the "account" on Wednesday; so what had be done Sunday night to Wednesday night!
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Re: p*rn

Postby snail » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:51 am

Well, at least he knows how you feel about it now, anyway.
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Re: p*rn

Postby RagDoll » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:43 am

Dipsy, it concerns me that you felt the need to text him about this and didn't dare bring it up face-to-face, that, coupled with a few things you've said in other posts, makes it seem to me that there's a problem with communication in your relationship.

I might be totally wrong here, so please tell me to shut-up if I'm wrong or speaking out of turn, but you've got to be able to speak to your boyfriend and tell him when things are bothering you. Is he one to fly off the handle or something? It sometimes comes across that you walk on egg shells with him...
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 12:30 pm

No he has never flew off the handle at me; if we have a disagreement or something he always apologises whether he is in the wrong or not. It does seem that sometimes he'd snap his back trying to please me if that is what I wanted.

We as such don't have a problem with comminucation....I do! I am getting better believe me; I always used to avoid what was bothering me and then text it because it was easier for me to deal with. Now all the time (except for this one instance) I'll say it. I did expect it to go way worse than it had done, if I'd known I'd get the response I did, I would have done it face to face. I do still avoid what was bothering me, but I'll leave it and think on it and then if it still bothers me I'll say it rather than flying off the handle.

I've never walked on egg shells for him, ever and he knows I'm not prepared to. I definately wear the trousers in the relationship so it's not like he even ever has the chance to be bossy. It's not like I bossed him to be "under the thumb" he put himself there and he said "he likes it there".

I mean he does do a lot of little things for me, when I go to his I don't have to lift a finger, I would wash the dishes we use but the pile of dishes and dirt I'd have to move before I got to the sink are not worth it. I jokinly once said "my shampoo is heavy to carry to the shower" - so now almost every week he'll carry it through for me and put my towels nicely folded next to the shower. He'll brush my hair for me, every time I wash it (I do it every day), and he'll brush it for ages - his words = "because it makes you happy so I like doing it"; he'll tuck my side of the bed in for me, he even puts his quilt the way I like it rather than the way he likes it, and I only stay 2 nights.
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Re: p*rn

Postby RagDoll » Mon Jun 22, 2009 1:41 pm

"I mean he does do a lot of little things for me, when I go to his I don't have to lift a finger, I would wash the dishes we use but the pile of dishes and dirt I'd have to move before I got to the sink are not worth it. I jokinly once said "my shampoo is heavy to carry to the shower" - so now almost every week he'll carry it through for me and put my towels nicely folded next to the shower. He'll brush my hair for me, every time I wash it (I do it every day), and he'll brush it for ages - his words = "because it makes you happy so I like doing it"; he'll tuck my side of the bed in for me, he even puts his quilt the way I like it rather than the way he likes it, and I only stay 2 nights."

(sorry my computer won't do the quote thingy again :( )

Awww that all sounds very sweet :) just to be clear, I wasn't trying to imply there are problems with your relationship in general/he walks all over you or anything like that. I was referring to communication specifically and I guess I must have rightly picked up on something since you admitted:

"We as such don't have a problem with comminucation....I do! I am getting better believe me; I always used to avoid what was bothering me and then text it because it was easier for me to deal with. Now all the time (except for this one instance) I'll say it. I did expect it to go way worse than it had done, if I'd known I'd get the response I did, I would have done it face to face. I do still avoid what was bothering me, but I'll leave it and think on it and then if it still bothers me I'll say it rather than flying off the handle."

As long as you feel you can say things to him face-to-face, that's fine :) it's just it's obviously important that you can communicate how you feel to him.
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:39 pm

oh I know you weren't pointing fingers or anything; I was more getting the point over that he does do a lot for me.

I definately can say things face to face; just not always straight away :( but I am getting better; and admitadly I probably would have said this face to face, it just so happened to have got to me that one bit too much on a day when I didn't see him.
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Re: p*rn

Postby captainf » Tue Jun 23, 2009 10:40 pm

I think hes being honest. To me his story seems quite consistent. From my understanding he had an account to watch porn videos which are on a site inclusive of chat and videos.

Theres all kinds of ways to end up on chat, sometimes theres porn links on the most innocent of sites (theres even one on an aviation forum I go on which we all just laughed off) Sometimes when you click on a website link thats no longer in use you can be re-directed to porn sites which then become logged in your history.. Even some porn ads can look like live videos but often arent.

I dont think you should be so hard on your boyfriend about it. He seems pretty honest that he hasnt been on 'porn chat' and just watched a video that wasnt live. Its just two people who were paid to have sex in a video.. It personally doesnt do anything for me and I have no interest in it but I can imagine that your boyfriend can learn some tips and tricks for when you guys are in the bedroom. I am aware that some couples watch porn together and learn new ideas. Although thats not for everyone.

So although I dont have an interest in porn all I can say is that your boyfriend could be doing alot worse. Atleast he isnt in a strip bar attaching a £10 note to a strippers thong..
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Re: p*rn

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:40 am

captain_flynn wrote:From my understanding he had an account to watch porn videos which are on a site inclusive of chat and videos.


No there are two sites, one he uses for videos and one they have for live chat and premium chat. I don't mind the video one, it was the premium chat and the live chat I objected to. If he'd clicked on it once by accident that would have been ok, if he'd clicked it once each time he went on the main site fair enough as I know one of their pop ups is clicked on accidentally a lot. It was the point he'd set up an account on the premium/live chat so it wasn't an accidental click, he'd put his card details in and he'd been "chatting"/watching premium (paid) stuff. Plus he'd been on about 5 or 6 different girls on the premium site, one I could say it was an accident but certainly not 5 or 6 or more, card details, setting up an account etc.

captain_flynn wrote:I dont think you should be so hard on your boyfriend about it


I didn't think I was being hard, he was using a web site which does porn chat; in any relationship that kind of stuff shouldn't be going on. Plus he'd also had a pretty bad conversation with a girl he used to work with, and then he had the cheek to say "you aren't going to be upset all day are you". So it's not like he hadn't done it before for me to mention it. I wasn't hard on him, I asked, maybe I was blunt but since he shouldn't be doing it I have every right to be harsh. I don't know if I thoroughly believe him that he hasn't been on "chat" because when I followed the links...guess where I ended up...chat.
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