Discontented

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Re: Discontented

Postby Skarlet » Fri Aug 14, 2009 9:46 am

I think that they just got carried away, we have got problems with the flat we are living in, drains are collapsing, and they decided the best way would be to buy. They jsut don't think of everything, and so it didn't really occur tothem.
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Re: Discontented

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:04 am

I agree with Ragdoll. If your parents do insist on a deposit for a house for the two of you, sign a document via a lawyers saying that in the event of a break up the deposit is yours. You can extend that to the house is yours as well as the deposit.

I do think if they want to help you out with a house deposit then make it your house and THEN your boyfriend can move in with you.

Do you live at home at the moment? It just seems strange that they are pushing you...(I also wish my parents would spring for a house deposit...my mam is winging about me taking my bed for gods sake, oh and my computer and no doubt my Wii); although my mam did say it seems silly for me to take my old bed and for her to buy a new one for my room...I then said she could just buy me a new bed hahaha...I need a house first.
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Re: Discontented

Postby Skarlet » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:27 am

Their plan is to own part of the house, as far as I am aware.

No, I live with him in our own flat. I think it is because they don't like renting, and they want me to be settled. Thing is it is not the best time really, for him or me. We were going to look into a mortgage, and then try and make an informed decision.
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Re: Discontented

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:15 am

If it's not right for you stand up for yourself now. A part share with your parents (i assume thats what you meant) means they will have control over you (judging by the way they are now) and will possibly interfere in things you want to do or not do.
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Re: Discontented

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:59 am

The only problem with your parents part sharing is what happens in 2 years time and you want to sell and they don't? Or if they do and you don't? How would you work it out?
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Re: Discontented

Postby Skarlet » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:00 pm

I think the plan is, that if we sold, we would pay them back. I don't think they are planning on having any real say in the house as such, and would support me if I did decide to sell the house just they own that part, so I guess that my bf couldn't run off with it. We obviously would have to sign a deed of trust to say we wouldn't, and it does make the ownership a little more difficult.
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Re: Discontented

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Fri Aug 14, 2009 12:07 pm

I don't think it makes anything more difficult really.

I am looking into buying a house and my bf asked if he could move in with me and he said if we ever break up the house would be yours, I'll rent off you. I asked if he'd sign something and he said of course. I think Bel Bel ages ago said it cost something like £200 which yes is a lot, it's a lot less than loosing half a house. I would add my bf to the mortgage IF he could match my deposit, or match most of it. Would it not be worth looking into the houses and if you see something you like taking them up on the offer and signing an agreement with your boyfriend and getting an agreement from your parents about in future and selling.
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Re: Discontented

Postby LME79 » Sat Aug 15, 2009 7:29 am

I think you really need to have a think about what you want to do with your boyfriend - you said that you're still not sure if you want to stay, in which case you need to put mortgage plans on hold. Moving into a bought house with him will complicate things, regardless of what papers are signed and how the finances will work out, you can't sign anything that will dictate what will happen emotionally. It also wouldn't be fair on your boyfriend and, in the long run, you'll make yourself very unhappy. I know you're already living together but buying a place (regardless of who stumps up the deposit) is a massive massive commitment and I'm concerned it may send the message to your boyfriend that things are cool. Hope that makes sense? x
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Re: Discontented

Postby Skarlet » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:47 am

Yeh it does make sense. we have decided to leave it for the moment. He was also concerned about the huge commitment it would take especially as only a month ago I wanted to break up. We are going to just keep things as they are which will keep the pressure off, and mean that we can try and get back to how things were.
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