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London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:27 am
by Dolly77
Hi All
I would appreicate some honest advice on my dilema. I left London and a brilliant job at a top London hospital in nov 08 to return to my home town of Nottingham. I had lived in london for almost 10 years.
Whilst I enjoyed living there, I could never afford a property on my own (to rent or buy!), so after flat shares and living in hospital accomodation, I decided I badly needed to get somewhere on my own. Hence the move back to Nottingham. I have a rented flat on my own, my job however, whilst the pay is good, it does not give me any job satisfaction. I hate Nottingham, its boring, there's nothing to do and I'm also terrified about running into folks that I want to avoid.
I love London, I feel at home then (and safer than I do in Nottingham)and I have the chance to return to my old job but not full time, only part time. Commuting is not an option. My collegues are keen for me to return.
However my plan was to stay here until next year, but apply to south bank uni (London) for next year (to do nursing) but before term starts go travelling round America for 3 months.
I'm 32 yrs old, no commitments.
Go back to London or stick to my original plan and I hope I get a place at uni?
Thanks
Dolly77

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:36 am
by rufio89
Can you not stick Nottingham out for another year?
I live in Nottingham, and I know what you mean that it's boring, but it's not TOO bad, there is stuff going on, if you look for it, and then you'll be in a better position for university because you can save some money?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:50 am
by Dolly77
I am trying really hard with Nottingham. I feel like an outsider in my home town. I feel so limited and the male population is just so pre judgemental and uneducated (sorry if your a bloke). I originally hoped to find a bf when I came home and maybe settle down by moving home aswell, but trips to London and south leave my questioning myself.

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 10:59 am
by RagDoll
I don't really know Nottingham, so I can't be as helpful as Rufio, but surely saying that the blokes there are judgemental and uneducated is a sweeping statement - ok, some of them will be, but surely some people in London are too?! They can't all be bad eggs! Perhaps you're not looking in the right places? (e.g. going to clubs which attract a certain sort?).

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:07 am
by rufio89
There are some nice guys in Nottingham (though Im yet to find one), but RagDolls right, maybe it's the places you're looking??

Where are you meeting these guys?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:15 am
by Dolly77
It does sound like a sweeping statement, but as soon as I say about my time living in London, straight away they pre judge me. As a rule I don't do nightclubs anymore. I also find they are very uncooth as well (e.g during a conversation with a chap, he randomly told me his ar*e was sweating!).
I really only get to meet guys when I'm out with work collegues (whi are all married with kids). We do stick to the better bars of Nottingham. I really, really do not want to do internet dating either. And trying to meet people through courses etc, does not work.

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:25 am
by dipsydoodlenoodle
Dolly77 wrote:We do stick to the better bars of Nottingham


I'm not from Nottingham, however I try to stick to middle of the range bars; the "better bars" are full of perverts in suits eyeing up scantailly clad 16 year olds passing as 18's...I'd avoid men in the better bars as they all seem to think themselves too good for anyone (of course this isn't all men in those types of bars - just my experiences).

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:34 am
by rufio89
Where do you drink out of interest Dolly?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:36 am
by Dolly77
I'm finding that if your not part of a group of friends (who tend to introduce you to other people) then meeting someone decent is going to be hard.

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:38 am
by Dolly77
rufio89 wrote:Where do you drink out of interest Dolly?

so far, the places around chapel bar.

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:40 am
by RagDoll
Surely the problems/difficulties you're having re: meeting a decent guy in Nottingham, would equally apply to any locality?

If it's a case of meeting new friends (who can then possibly introduce you to more friends/potential boyfriends) are there any clubs/hobbies you can get involved in which would allow you to meet new people?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:47 am
by Dolly77
Going on courses and trying to make new friends does not work. Anyone new with limited friend in the first place is going to struggle. I know this from experience. Additionally my female work collegues are all married with kids, so I'm not getting out that often. Hence why returning to London is attractive because there us more single people and more than just bars and nightclubs.

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:50 am
by Bel Bel
The opportunity is only for a part time job so where would you live?

Why do you think you may have trouble getting a place in uni? Do you have the right entry requirements?

If you are really unhappy about Nottingham there seems little point staying.

If travelling is something you have always wanted to do this may be a great opportunity but will you leave yourself with no money when you get back?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 11:56 am
by RagDoll
Ok, making new friends somewhere where you have limited friends to begin with might be hard, but it's not impossible. There must be something you can do/try to meet people e.g. join a gym, take up horse-riding, join a night-class...

It sounds like you're convinced that you want to move back to London, so perhaps that's the best thing to do. Could you start doing your old job part-time and find another job to do part-time too?

Re: London or Nottingham?

PostPosted: Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:05 pm
by Dolly77
Bel Bel wrote:The opportunity is only for a part time job so where would you live

Why do you think you may have trouble getting a place in uni? Do you have the right entry requirements?

If you are really unhappy about Nottingham there seems little point staying.

If travelling is something you have always wanted to do this may be a great opportunity but will you leave yourself with no money when you get back?


I can transfer with my job down south but drop some of my hours to suit me.
For uni I need to do any enterence exam and I can do that any time. I should say this is for a specialized nursing degree.

I am really unhappy here but having my own space is wonderful. And as for travelling I've already estimated $8,000 (about £4,000) as a budget for a 3 month trip to the states (the south and the west coast). I really want to experience american culture and lifestyle. With my current job I can work bank sessions too, so a 3 nonth break and then starting uni in London wouldn't be a problem. Hence going back to my old job and then jacking it in after 9 months to go travelling and then go to uni, is going look really bad on my cv and with my new degree maybe I could return to my hospital in a new capacity.