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44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:36 pm
by fiftyone
Hi

My close relative who is 44 and married with children is showing signs of bulimia and has lost 4 stone over the past year but shows no signs of staying at a sensible weight. She has a pressurised job and recently confided that she doesn't feel her husband cares about her as he once did. They haven't been on holiday together for ages yet he goes away with the boys or work frequently. She is very attractive and has been propositioned by someone she knows - and likes - yet has put him to one side citing she wants to remain faithfull to her husband and family. Recently on 3 occasions I noticed that she went to the loo following meals and this is what makes me think she has an eating disorder. She also excercises furiously at the gym as if her life depended o n it. I am her relative but I don't know what to do to help as I'm afraid she might become defensive if I bring up the subject. A friend suggested I talk to her husband but since I don't think things are to good between them at the moment I decided not to. Her mother lives abroad and is very excitable and dramatic so I don't want to involve her and I don't think my relative would tell her either as they are not that close. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Re: 44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 4:56 pm
by Bel Bel
Juts tell her your worried about her. Her reaction will let you know if you can take the conversation further. Remind her whatever way it goes that you will always be there for her if she needs someone to talk to or confide in. If she isn't ready to admit and deal with it there is little esle you can do

Re: 44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:46 pm
by fiftyone
This is difficult but thanks Bel Bel for one way of doing it. I think its a safe way too as only one sentence will let me know if she does/doesn/t want to talk. I'm also worried that she'll have a complete physical/mental breakdown as she really is thin.

Re: 44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Wed Oct 28, 2009 12:51 pm
by Bel Bel
Her husband should really be the one to confront her on this.
If things continue on a downward spiral perhaps you will have to have a quiet word with him and tell him you are doing it for the kids sake

Re: 44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 8:06 pm
by fiftyone
Its taken a while but I finally if casually said that I was a bit worried about her lately to which she smiled confidently and said she was fine had had a check up recently and the docs said she was fine also. It goes on. But at least I've asked her. I seem to think that eating disorders are also part of a very convincing front and that part of the overall problem is the sufferers ability to put up a smokescreen. If this is the case I've not achieved anything in helping her. If anything I'm annoyed that she is so convincing and I can't find a way around that.

Re: 44 year old women with Bulimia

PostPosted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:25 am
by RagDoll
I think you're right re: the smokescreen. I know it's difficult, but is there no way you could say that you've noticed she's lost a lot of weight and you're worried for her health?

Was also wondering if you could call/look at the website of a charity/organisation that's specific to people with eating disorders? They might have some advice on there that could help you.