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Abortion. In desperate need of help here.

PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:58 pm
Ill try to cut a long story short,
I'm 17 now, but when i was 16 about 4 months before turning 17 i discovered i was pregnant, i was and am still currently in a stable relationship with the father however my parents are quite strict, not too strict but the type who would be supporting but showed in their face and tone of voice what they want. i told my parents as soon as i realised i was late on my period then a couple of days later i got the test, i found out i was pregnant and they were annoyed, as any parents would be but they were still calm.

the morning after i found out my mum asked me if i had made a decision yet, as it was a big shock i hadnt even had the chance to think properly so i said no and i could tell she was disapointed, well i got the feeling she was. then that same night my dad asked me if i made my mind up and i felt he was disapointed too, so i panicked and saidno im not keeping it. my boyfriend was okay with this however he would have preffered to keep the baby and i know deep down i wanted to keep it too.

we went to the doctors within 2 days and just under a week of finding out i was having an abortion, after i had told my dad i wasnt keeping the baby i felt as though i couldnt change my mind as everytime i walked into a room when i was pregnant when my parents found out i felt like they were looking down at me in disgust or shame so i felt my decision was permenant, but eversince i had the abortion i have been tearing myself apart with regret 6 months down the line, i hate myself for doin it and i wish i could take it all back but i know i cant. im always crying and sometimes i just cant controle my emotions.

just after the abortion i told my dad how i felt and he turned round and said you didnt have to do it trix, i would have supported you either way i could never be disapointed in you and this completly and utterly crushed me, broke my heart. also my bfs ex mate started screwin at me on fb saying how he dint want it and i hurt him where all along he said it was okay and this messed with my head so much, an now i find my self feeling really emotional when i even see a baby either on television or in real life, like when im out shopping or something.

however since a couple of months ago i feel like i want a baby, me and my boyfriend feel ready and now im not worried of my parents but i dont know if its the right thing as its like im never going to move on untill im pregnant again. is this normal or is it stupidity?

please help x

Re: Abortion. In desperate need of help here.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 11:36 pm
by hana.15
im really sorry to hear about this, it must have been dreadful what yu have gone through the past few months.

I can understand tht you are probely feeling depressed right now and this is normal, everyone will experiance depression during tough times in there live, and you have had your fair share of tough times at the momment. Personally i think you should visit your doctor for help with this depression, and i dont think that this is the right time to be considering having a baby, it oly puts more presure on you and your current relatonship. I think that you are feeling the need for a baby because you feel guilty for aborting your unborn one, and you feel that you need to replace it (Sorry for using it).

You really need to open up to you parents more, and tell them how your feeling, and when they are being hard on you just remember that they are doing it becuase they love you, and they only have your best interests at heart.

You should also consider visting a phyciatrist with your current boyfriend, he s probebly feeling the same as you, however as a normaly guy wont tell anyone. So it might be best on both sides to talk to someone. Sooner rather than later.

I hope that you can take some advise from this.
Take care
Hannah x

Re: Abortion. In desperate need of help here.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:11 pm
by ILoveChristmas
I had a fairly long reply typed out for you yeserday but the forum was having a few gremlins.

The jist of what I was saying is along the same lines as Hannah, I don't feel the time is right to jump straight back in to having another baby.

Your body's hormones are likely to be all over the place. An abortion interupts the natural changes that occur during pregnancy, both physical and mental, and your body needs some time to readapt.

The upshot is that unbalanced hormones don't make for a sound base on which to make life changing decisions. I'm trying to be careful, because i'm a man and I can't claim to know what you're feeling, but I think you need to spend some time getting yourself back to normal and regaining your state of mind. You're going to feel like something's missing for a very long time, but I think you need to learn to separate those feelings from reality and common sense.

You're young. Concentrate on your education, your life with your boyfriend and making a home together. If in a year or two you still feel exactly the same you should be in a better more stable position to move forward and do exactly what you want.

Re: Abortion. In desperate need of help here.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 2:53 pm
by Bel Bel
I agree with the others

Do you have a stable home and to bring the baby up in or would you be staying at your parents.

If course your parents were disappointed but it doens't mean they would have not come round to the idea. However that doesn't make it right to have another baby

I think you need to deal with the abortion and it's after affects before you consider having another baby let alone the fact you still have so much time in life to do that.

Finacially having a baby is so hard, when you have th choice about when to have a babay then you should always try to do when it's best for the baby and ensure you can provide them with all the things they need

Re: Abortion. In desperate need of help here.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:18 pm
Thank you for your comments, i'm feelin better for a bit now, I did think it was just my hormones talkin about having a baby but I didnt realise it was normal to want it so long after an abortion, but readin all your comments I know its just me over thinking things and I understand it aint realistic at all. Your comments helped alot. Hopefully now I can start to move on from all my problems and not just this one (: