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How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 5:43 pm
by Lilitta
I would be extremely grateful for any sound advice or suggestions with my problem.
To begin with, I have recently graduated from a decent university (Oxford :oops: ) in an interesting and vibrant part of the country. Right now, I find myself living at home with my parents, and about to embark on a more vocational course near where I live (to sit out the credit crunch! :oops: ). The town where we live is fairly quiet, and there is certainly little to do, especially compared with university life. To be honest, I do not think I would be happy to live there till the end of my days. The job prospects are pretty low-paid, and a lot of my skills (languages, creative writing) would in all likelihood go to waste (as it is not quite in my character to head some cheesy reading group for local disadvantaged teenagers, if you pardon my French). In short, I am contemplating a move.
My idea is to return back to my old university town, as the quality of life, job prospects and virtually everything is better there (not to mention the fact that the atmosphere was truly great, and I really felt at home). However, as it takes an awful lot of time, money and planning, and I cannot gather my thoughts together as yet, I would really appreciate any creative ideas or suggestions on how to move there, any tips, advice and so on. I would even be content with an arrangement that might allow me to come to that town on a regular basis, if not live there permanently.
Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 1:05 pm
by Bel Bel
Could you start by renting a room in a shared house, getting yourself a job or a couple of part time jobs. It might be a good time to get something once the other students have broken up and gone home. More likely to find somehting with less people about to compete with. Once you have an address their you will probably find it easier to get more long term employment and will have to change the plans as and when you are earning more income

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 4:29 pm
by ILoveChristmas
I would also add that you need to think carefully about whether the main ingredients regarding your enjoyment of Oxford are still there.

It was great when you were at university because your friends were there and you were living the student life. Is that still the case to the extent where you'll enjoy things as much as you did?

Maybe so, in which case look seriously into it, but it may be unwise to think things will continue on just as they were.

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2010 6:54 pm
by spacegirl
In my experience of moving to another city on your own (and i've done this quite a few times) is yes, it takes time and planning, but - set out to find a job first, at least if you're in your parents' house now it's a good base and you can save money. then just go. Plan to get out there a week or two before you're due to start your new job, you obviously already know the city so it's not like it's completely new to you and view flats and houses all day every day. Save enough money for your first month's rent, deposit and some to live on, and just go for it. You probably even have a few friends who might let you crash at theirs until you get yourself sorted out.

I do take ILC's point about thinking about whether you have a rose-tinted view of the city but as you say your skills are quite specialised and you really need to be somewhere you'll have the chance to make the most of them, don't get sucked into a day job when you could be living out your passion! Guardian Jobs has a great Arts and Heritage section, I find their jobs are all very focused and genuine compared to some job sites (although most based in london it helps to keep checking):

Go for it! and good luck!!! :)

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 11:12 am
by Lilitta
A very big thank you to everyone who has replied.

ILoveChristmas - concerning your comment about possibly having a romanticised view of the town - maybe it is so, but I also looked into the practical side quite carefully. One thing I can say for certain - the University website alone seems to advertise more jobs than there could ever be in my entire home town put together. Also, the atmosphere itself seems to suit me far better (I was not a great frequenter of "studenty" hangouts, so it was precisely the mainstream, everyman's city I had the experience of).

Spacegirl - finding a job and simply packing my bags, moving there and renting accommodation is something I considered hundreds of times - in fact, I still am considering it now. However, there are some setbacks that I am not quite sure how to deal with first.

To begin with, I have already applied for, and got a place to study at a professional more vocational-based course, as I already have said. The problem is, I applied for this course before coming to Oxford. My natural initial thinking was to complete my studies at Oxford and then move back to do the course I am speaking of. However, right now I am a bit at a loss, because dropping the course would really put me at a disadvantage career-wise and jeopardise my plans, but I do feel quite sad about having to leave Oxford completely behind, with no chance of ever returning. My family suggest I should stick with this course now, but when it is done, look for a job over in Oxford. I think it is a good idea, but...

The real issue here is (perhaps now this thread should really belong in the Romance section of this forum), that during my life at uni, I met someone I really liked, and who liked me back :oops: Unfortunately, this meeting happened in my last year there, and before anything could happen, I had to pack my bags and leave for home. Now there is a distance between us, even though we do keep in touch over email, text, etc. I really should go out there and see them soon, but I am so broke at the moment, that I cannot afford travelling there often. :cry: What can I do? I do not want to lose that special person!!!

It already starts to feel as though I am bashing my head against the wall and the circumstances conspire against me... what can I do? ](*,)

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 7:19 pm
by spacegirl
can you defer the course for a year? sounds like you'd always wonder "what if" if you didn't gback to oxford for a while - you don't seem ready to give it all up just yet

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:38 pm
by Bel Bel
I hear what spacegirl says and agree if you can defer but do you really want that, move back only to have to come back again and leave someone you may have developed something even bigger with

You career is very important long term goal. What if you went back and it didn't work out with this guy? Can he not travel to see you?

I don't think you should stop an important career milestone over a new relationship. If it's meant to be you will find a way to make it work. How long is the course? If it's only a year then that's no time at all to wait.

Re: How to return to my uni town?

PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:50 pm
by Songbird
There are ways to make it work if it's meant to be, though you dont say how far away your home town is from Oxford.
Long-distance is tricky but it works if you really want it too, I lived a 2 hr drive away from my boyfriend for 3 and a half years while at drama school, then went to majorca for 7 months and we were together for 8 years, for the 1st year we were both students and working most of the weekends, but we wanted to be together so we made it work (however our relationship was already pretty established before i moved away)
What about him - is he is a more viable position to come and visit you??

ON the living side of it, I moved home from London, mostly for the relationship and have spent half my life travelling there for career reasons ever since - if it wasnt for financial restraints i would have moved straight back there after i broke up with my ex, but now 2 years on having had the chance to spend plenty of time with my family and old friends, i find the idea of moving back a little lonely to be honest, even though i still have friends floating around!

I say if you've just finished uni, you're still young so if the idea of defering appeals to you and is possible,Go for it!! You could even look at doing the course closer to oxford next year, if you're sure that is really where you want your life to be (man or no man), You only live once and once you have responsibilities and commitments it's harder to pack up and leave.