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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:40 am
by ohdear
I let my friend borrow my phone for a while and now it's been stolen. It had pictures and videos on there of my daughter that I didn't have backed up :( I'm devastated!

Re: :(

PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:05 pm
by Ticktock
Wish I could offer some technical solution to this but although they are likely still on the phone whoever has it now will have chucked the old sim and so no hope of retrieving them unless you have the dumbest phone thief on the planet...

On your new phone set up a link to Flickr so it doesn't happen again, and don't lend it out to that friend again!

Sending you a hug, lost a load of pictures myself on an old laptop a while ago, orange juice, two year olds and electronics don't mix... :(

Re: :(

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:38 am
by ILoveChristmas
If you haven't done so already you need to contact the Police and obtain a crime number.

Once you've done that you need to call your phone operator and have the phone barred so the thief can't use it. When you bought your phone the shop would have registered your phone's EMEI number (unique to your phone) and have the ability to stop it from working without you needing the phone or knowing that number.

If you're on pay as you go they'll only be able to do that if you kept a note of the EMEI number. That number is on the phone itself and also the box your phone came in.

Re: :(

PostPosted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:17 pm
by ohdear
I've been to the police today, the PC has given me his name, a number to contact him on and a crime number. The thief WAS stupid enough to answer the phone, and even gave a name (I really do hope he was effing thick enough to give his real name) but I don't have much hope of getting it back, do I?
I'm not sure I can carry on this friendship though? I mean, I've known this girl since primary school, but she is so self centred! I feel really bad saying that, but here is an example, so you can understand my point of view. Just before I first fell pregnant (lovely surprise, but surprise nonetheless!!) we had booked to go to Greece for a week of drinking and fun. When I told her I was expecting, the first, and I mean very first, thing she said to me was "but what about the holiday?". Not "are you OK?" or "whatever you do I'll support you", just the holiday. She kept asking me to get drunk with her (which I refused, obviously) and in the end I stopped going round to see her. We ended up having a huge argument because she didn't understand why I didn't want to go to her house and watch her drink herself into a stupor. She still holds this against me and seems to think she did nothing wrong, and even blames my boyfriend, who was nothing but a saint (even when the pregnancy hormones took over me!).
When I got my daughter christened, we still weren't talking, but I decided to be the bigger person and invite her anyway. When I phoned her she said "well I better come if I'm going to be godmother!" and I had to tell her she wasn't!! And she didn't end up coming (even though the venue was literally five minutes from her house, and the church was even closer) because she didn't have enough money to get drunk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's not even the beginning of it :( She's supposed to be my friend and I don't understand why she's acting this way. Every time I see her she begs me to buy her fags, and no matter how many times I tell her I can't afford it, she won't let it drop! I quit smoking because I couldn't afford to (amongst other reasons) so I don't see why I should feed her habit!
Usually, when I'm this stressed and upset I go to see her, not to talk through my problems but to get drunk and forget it. I'm sick of it!!
So sorry this post is so long, I just have so much going on in my life at the minute, I need to try and sort things out one thing at a time.
And thanks for reading!
SJ x

Re: :(

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 2:43 pm
by ILoveChristmas
Hi SJ,

I don't know what the dictionary definition of friendship is, but when you get to the stage of no longer getting anything meaningful back for yourself i'm pretty sure it's no longer a friendship. If that's the case then I don't see it as you having to make a decision on whether to carry it on; I think your former friend has made that decision for you. Rather I think your decision is whether to resurrect the friendship or not.

For some reason that we, and possibly you, don't understand, your friend is stuck in a frame of mind where she wants to smoke, drink, sponge off you and live in a world incompatible with your reality. You're past that now. You have a wonderful partner, a baby and a life that just doesn't suit the kind of behaviour your friend is involved in, and that's before we get to her general behaviour, like not bothering to turn up at your wee one's christening.

If it were me i'd keep in touch with her. Make sure you're around and she knows she can call on you if need be, but you musn't let her misguided approach to life drag you down, and you must make her aware in no uncertain terms that sponging off you is not acceptable. Harsh but fair treatment is the only way you'll be able to move beyond the current situation. With any luck it'll force her into realising what she's doing sooner or later.

With regard to your phone I doubt very much you'll see it again. If the network is able to block the phone, or if the Police attempted to call i'd imagine the thief has abandoned it by now, or sold it on. I suspect you're going to have to chalk it up to experience and learn to back up your phone in future. That particular lesson should be learned even without your friend's involvement - it could afterall have just as easily been stolen in your posession.

You never know though, maybe somebody will find it. I've had similar luck in the past!

Re: :(

PostPosted: Thu Nov 03, 2011 4:49 pm
by ohdear
I've just realised I didn't tell the rest of the story! Sorry!
I was actually the one who found out the phone was stolen, a mutual friend of ours was phoning her and these men kept answering and taking the mick out of him, threatening him, and they said something along the lines of "this phone's been nicked, so don't f*****g ring again", charming. He rang me strait away and told me what had happened, so I rang her on her boyfriends phone, and told her what had gone on. She told me she had a huge amount of alcohol and got into a bar fight. She didn't realise until she got home that the phone was gone, and thought she just lost it. When I rang her, she was on the way to her mother-in-law's and would phone the police as soon as she got there. I phoned after she had been there an hour and she said she hadn't phoned the police yet, and she'd phone as soon as she got off the phone to me. Later that night, I phoned her boyfriend again, and she wasn't there but would be in about fifteen minutes. I phoned fifteen minutes later and his phone was switched off. The next day, I rang her and she told me she hadn't phoned the police yet, because her mother-in-law didn't have any credit on her phone (her mother-n-law lives five minutes away from me, why couldn't she have walked to my house and told me?!) so I phoned the police.
Later, I got a text from her, off her boyfriend's friend's phone asking what was happening. I told her I had an appointment with the police the next day (which was yesterday) and all she said was "ok darl". I had to take time off to go to the police when she could have (and should have!!) gone instead of me! She doesn't have a job or kids and it wouldn't have made any difference to her to go, if I was responsible for her phone and it was stolen I would do everything I possibly could! I'm not angry with her because it was stolen, that was completely not her fault, it could happen to anyone (although to be fair, she was in a stupid place having a pointless fight while being too drunk to remember her own name). I'm just disgusted with the way she acted afterwards. She didn't seem to care at all that my memories were on there, memories I am NEVER going to get back. It was a really old phone, and I don't want it back, just the memory card. I think she must assume that because it was a bad phone I wouldn't really care.
I feel like I am a teenager again!! Not that there's anything wrong with being a teenager, but I thought I was past all of this ridiculous drama.
Thanks again for your help, I'm at a loss with this one!
SJ x