Moving to a new city

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Moving to a new city

Post by rufio89 » Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:53 am

This weekend I went to stay with one of my close friends who lives in Bristol. I've been to stay with her quite a few times over the 4 years that she's been there and everytime I've been, I've loved it.

This time, I was walking around with her and thought "why dont I just move here?" We talked about it, she told me about areas I could live, places I might want to work and I went home feeling really excited about the propsect of moving somewhere new. I've been in Nottingham my whole life and I always thought I'd move away but I havent yet.

Anyway, fast forward a couple of days and the thought of it has stopped being excited and now just seems terrifying. I dont know what it is that scares me - I have as many good friends in Bristol as I do in Nottingham, I wouldnt move unless I already had a job, I wouldnt go until I've paid my debts off, so I dont know what it is that scares me so much. I'm close to my Mum and I dont like the thought of being so far away from her, but I've got to make that break some time!

I so badly dont want to stay in Nottingham my whole life. There's nothing keeping me here at the moment and I feel like I'm getting more and more fed up by the day. It's not a huge city and I'm sick of seeing the same people and the same places all the time.

Has anyone else moved to a new city even though it was scary? What were your experiences?

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Re: Moving to a new city

Post by highlandcow » Mon Jul 02, 2012 6:45 pm

Wow Ruth, that's such an exciting decision.

I moved when I was a child (about 7) so the decision was taken out of it for me, but because it was for my Dad's job that we had to move so we all just had to deal with it. :o I was already in the local school, so things could have been difficult but I think I was at the age where I didn't consider that I'd never see all my friends again.

My brother moved to London (so a different country really!) at 19 to go to Uni down there and while he misses Glasgow and comes up when he can, he says it's one of the best decisions he's ever made. Despite weeping copiously about leaving Scotland on the plane. :( It was scary, but I think he felt the same as you, that he was seeing the same old things every day, and the same old people and that he was generally stuck in a rut. Now, he's got loads of new mates, and a lovely girlfriend. When he's done with Uni, he's going to move to Aberdeen to do his PhD, which is another big move for him.

I think that you've got some good reasons to make a break if that's what you want to do, at least you've got friends in Bristol and with things like Skype and MSN etc, it's easy to stay in touch with your mum.

I'm sure it'll be a good move for you, and if it doesn't work, then at least you tried. xxxx
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Re: Moving to a new city

Post by retrochav » Sun Jul 08, 2012 11:51 pm

Dont be afraid. You are clearly sensible enough to make this work out well for you. By clearing debts, finding work and laying all ground plans down first, you wont be moving for a while yet. Try to save a little money whilst clearing debts, so you have a deposit for a place to stay. Ideally, see if you could find a weekend job in Bristol, so you could stay with your friend one or two days a week, and get a feel for the place and living away from home - exhausting i know if you work full time, but it would only need to be a short term taster.

When you do move you will be all prepared and ready.

Many of us dont have that sort preparation time, which is why you may hear stories of it all going wrong!

I left home a few weeks before my 16th birthday. I left London and fled to Blackpool with nothing but my clothes. I had to fight for a council flat, a job, and any sort of life. Every day was a struggle because i had no time to prepare. When, at 17 I moved down to Brighton, I had planned everything - work, housing, social groups to join etc. and made a much better job of it. I am confident with planning you will be successful too. Thats not to say everyday is rosey, but at least with the foundations in place life can work out.
whatever your problem someone else has been there and bears the scars.

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Re: Moving to a new city

Post by mattmxl » Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:42 pm

I upped sticks for university and that was about the only experience of the issue I had until I moved out of my parents place and into my own. I moved from St Helens to Sheffield to live and study, qualification aside, it was the worst decision of my life to date. Out of the frying pan and into the fire would no do it justice. The move was made with a place to live and direction already sorted so there were few concerns in that department, even still, the whole thing was a disaster.

I mostly blame Sheffield for this rather than the concept of relocating as I have seldom been to a place more grotesque in terms of its inhabitants and atmosphere, suffice to say, I have never returned since I moved back to St Helens (and St Helens isn't a place you'd want to live either).

The idea of relocating is often far better than the reality of it I have found, to the point where it has put me off trying it again. Perhaps it might have been better if the destination had been different, I'm not sure. But as the old saying goes, if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it rarely is! Or something like that anyway.

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