Independence dilema

For any other problem that has to do with the self.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Independence dilema

Postby fe » Sun Nov 16, 2003 7:45 pm

hey...i was wondering if you could help me...?
im 17 and have been suffering from panic attacks for about 10 years now. i have been to numerous amounts of councellors, psychologists and the like and now am seeing a psychotherapist who i get on with really well. its kind of hard to explain, but ive felt a dependancy on having my parents around as much as possible as a way to prevent the panic attacks. for example, i used to need them around to go shopping, or nights out etc. more recently though, after the initial "trauma" of not having them around, i get on a lot better without them, for example, i live at home with my parents, and when they are around i feel supposedly "normal". however when they go on holiday or something like that i seem to feel "extra happy" when im at home, in a way more confident? this helps a lot with panic attacks. ive kind of come a long way with the panic attacks and am sort of on the way out of it. but it seems that panic attacks are a part of me being a child and whilst im with my parents, i am kept as a child, and subsequently i am kept with panic attacks. i am so desperate to lose the panic attacks i really want to move out!! but for one, i cant afford it and because im supposed to be going to uni next year, i wont have any financial support from my parents until then. i dont feel i can wait that long. im scared that the longer i live with them, the harder it will get to shake off the attacks.

what to do!?
i hope you can help me.thanks for your time
:D

Edited by sovs 16/11/03

xfex
User avatar
fe
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2003 8:34 pm

Postby cheese100 » Sun Nov 16, 2003 9:01 pm

My parenta are like that sometimes because I have CP but if you explain what you have said to them then maybe something can be done like them leaving the house more or even building a kind of extention for you to live in.If worse comes to worse its only another year anyway and maybe you could join more clubs/activites where you will be away for your parents.Good Luck I hope the panic attacks get better Cheese xx
cheese100
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 271
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2003 6:36 pm

Postby saz » Sun Nov 16, 2003 10:09 pm

Hi i hope you are ok. I think you are dealing with things better than you give yourself credit for. I bet you have come a long way, you are just worrying about creating a circle of behaviour. I had panic attacks when i was 15 but only for a few months because of a massive family problem and i know how scary they can be. I used to rely on my mum a lot, not just for the attacks, but after they went she did so much for me.

I did worry about leaving home but am pleased i didn't rush into it. Leaving home is a really big step and can make things worse if you aren't ready yet. You sound like you are preparing yourself for uni which is great. If you left home now you would have a lot to deal with, domestic things, bills etc are you ready for that?

Just remember, when you go to uni there will be loads of other people in similar situations as you, a huge majority if not all will have never left home before, so everyone sticks together. You will have a nice community of support, people around all the time, no time to worry about the attacks because of social life and studying. Living on your own you wont have this support around you, and maybe no focus as such in your life.

Talk to your therapist about your feelings they may be able to help you. I think you are really worrying about depending on them but at some point you will feel ready to go on your own terms, dont worry. Good luck
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex

Postby fe » Mon Nov 17, 2003 12:52 pm

thanku for the advice :)
i have been thinking about it..and practically it wouldnt b great...i mean, i run a car etc and so movin out would be very very costly!it jus seems that the more i think about it, the more it makes sense to become more independent. and the only way i can think of becoming independent is to move out...id ideally like my own space.but i kno movin out isnt realistic...have u got ne other ideas for becoming independent whilst workin with the fact of panic attacks!?im stuk!
thanx
:)
User avatar
fe
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2003 8:34 pm

Postby saz » Wed Nov 19, 2003 8:47 am

About being more independent, well you might not like my advice! You can be independent and still live at home it is very possible. Doing all your washing, ironing, cooking and share of the cleaning is about as independent as it comes. It would be what you would have to do if you didn't live there.

Try to make yourself busy, take on things like a hobby, sport or little jobs and rely on your parents' company a bit less. Enjoy the time you do spend with them, perhaps suggest all going out somewhere for the day. Now i have left home, i dont see my dad and only see my mum once a week, but when i do i try to make it enjoyable.

It is good that you already run a car there are so many people out there who have no idea how to do that. Good luck!
Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
cos i'm in love with the inner being
saz
Taken Root
Taken Root
 
Posts: 2109
Joined: Sun Aug 10, 2003 7:23 pm
Location: Essex


Return to And the rest...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron