freedom

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freedom

Postby bubbaloo1232002 » Mon Mar 22, 2004 6:27 pm

i am 13 years old and my mum dosnt really give me any freedom i want to talk to her but im afraid il upset her my friends go out every day and our till bout 8,30 what should i do
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Postby Fidel » Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:51 pm

well all you can do is talk to her and convince her that you're mature enough for a privelege like that
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Postby saz » Tue Mar 23, 2004 8:16 am

I dont know about where you live but round here there is a curfew that under 16's aren't allowed out after 9pm and get taken home by the police. Unfortunately it isn't all that safe in some places and parents also worry about drinking and smoking they just want you to be safe. I suppose there is also homework to consider - they dont want your work to suffer, and you can always see your mates at school.

I am not saying they are right to totally restrict you but they are just concerned. At 13 you are still their little darling and in time they will feel more confident about giving you freedom, and as Fidel said it really has to be earned. You show them that you are trustworthy and they will lighten up. Help your mum out when she asks and prove you are responsible.

I used to have an agreement with my parents that on a certain night i used to go to a Youth Club or round a mates house and it gradually built from there but i abused it and stayed out later. I ended up grounded most of the time which isn't fun! Make an arrangement with your parents about a certain day and place and take it from there. They dont want you to stand around in a dark park all night, so do other things with your mates like go to the pictures or a local youth group - have some proper fun! Standing around the local shops is just asking for trouble as some people just dont know when to behave and you dont want to be part of that.

Good luck, talk to your mum and see how things go.
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Postby Flutegirl » Tue Mar 23, 2004 10:28 am

Hi
My parents used to be very over-protective of me, I don't know whether you're the oldest kid in your family but I am in mine and that's where my problem came from. By the time your parents have raised one kid they are a bit more relaxed and realise that staying outa bit later with a group of friends is not too dangerous. Therefore the oldest kid usually has to push to be allowed to do all the "cool" things but the younger kids get to do the stuff easily enough because the parents have become more relaxed.

The important thing to remember is that they aren't doing this to spoil your fun or make your life a misery, they're doing it because they care and don't want you to get into trouble or danger. If they didn't care they would let you stay out 'til all the hours of the night and not worry what time you came home at.

The thing to do is push for a later curfew bit by bit. Say for example one night , ask if you can stay out half an hour later. If they say yes get in on time, in fact get in a little bit before your curfew, to make a good impression. If they say no ask for ten or fifteen extra minutes and make sure you're in on time. Do this for a while, showing that you're mature enough to get in at whatever time they ask for, and there is more chance of them extending the curfew.

Other things that might help is letting your parents in on where you're going, what you're doing and who you're going to be with. That way they are less likely to worry that you're out on your own, in a rough area , getting up to no good. If this doesn't work then why not ask one of your friends ( who has a later curfew than you) to ask her mum to chat to your mum and make a pact that you and your friend will stick together when you're out and will be in for the same time.

hope this helps!!
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Postby paganstar » Thu Dec 23, 2004 6:46 pm

My eldest son is 14 i only allow him out until 8 oclock in the winter,he complains like mad but its for his safety,in the summer its not so bad,cant you bring your friends to your house at the time u must come in??id rather my son brought his friends in at least they will not be getting into trouble in the street,whats there to do but walk about??there are some really horrible people around child molesters its a wicked world,but your parents are only looking out for you,you might not like to hear this but as a mum i wouldnt like it.When your older you will realize,when i was 13 i had to come in at 7pm if i was aloud out at all most times i wasnt,and the world is definatly a lot worse now. :)
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