Money worries and more

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Money worries and more

Postby arwen » Tue Jan 11, 2005 12:10 pm

I am at the very end of my grip on sanity - please help me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love deeply and who loves me. We recently moved out of a vile crime-ridden area and bought a house together in the countryside. We knew things would be tight money-wise but decided it was worth going without "luxuries". However after the bills and mortgage are paid we have literally a couple of pounds a week left over, and often find that we can't buy enough food and go for meals at his parents'.

He has his own business and I work for him. Unfortunately his business partner is a complete waste of space and recently the company has been struggling - he may lose everything and I have had to start looking for other jobs even though I love working with him and he really needs my help with the wrokload.

We are both under so much stress that it is beginning to spill over into our relationship and cause silly arguments.
He works 12 hours a day most days and when he is at home he is worrying about work. He never sleeps for more than a couple of hours and some nights he wakes up screaming in terror. He has become a little overweight because of the time he spends working and I am worried he is going to have a heart attack.

I've tried asking him very gently to make more time for himself and not to push himself so hard, but he sees this as me "turning on him" for not spending enough time with me. If he doesn't put the hours in then no money is made and we would lose our lovely new home.

He can't get rid of his "passenger" business partner because he owns half of the company. He can't start again from scratch as we are in no financial position to be taking risks (we already have debts that we can't pay off) and he has built up his company over 3 years from nothing.
We want to get married and have a family but simply couldn't afford to. We have never had a holiday as we cannot leave the business for more than a day or two. I get so frustrated that we are working ourselves to death and most of what we earn is taken away in tax to fund 'scroungers' and teenage mothers, yet there is no help whatsoever for us and our situation is going to end up killing one or both of us at this rate.

Add to that the fact that we seem to be under a permanent black cloud of bad luck (so may deaths and tragedies in the last year), I just don't know whether I can cope if one more bad thing happens.
The only thing we have is our love for each other and our fantastic relationship, for which I am extremely grateful. But we cannot take this pressure for much longer. What can we do???
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Postby smile » Fri Jan 14, 2005 12:45 pm


If I was you I'd go to your local Citizens Advice Bureau as they can offer you advice on all sorts of money problems. If you've already got debts in the form of loans, credit card debts etc. then it is often possible to freeze your monthly payments and interest and pay back what you can afford a month. The loan companies don't like doing it but as long as you show them that all of your monthly outgoings (including food bills etc) are more than your income then you shouldn't have a problem. It's best to make sure if you have a loan, that it isn't secured on the house otherwise there could be implications if you don't pay the agreed amount.

But take a trip down to your local Citizens Advice Bureau as they will be able to help.

Hope things start to look up for you.
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get them, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either.

Just remember to keep smiling!
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