Being Ignored - Discussion

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One of the Crowd
One of the Crowd
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Being Ignored - Discussion

Post by Still_in_Chains » Fri Apr 29, 2005 9:00 am

This is a question I saw on another board so I decided to put it on my own board and also here because I'm wondering what people's opinions are on the subject.

Here's the question: "Has anyone has ever felt ignored by those they first felt they could trust and how that affected the relationships you had with these people? How do you resolve such a problem? Do you resolve it or just walk away from it and say nothing?"

This is a very good question. A number of times, I've been on the receiving end of silence and not known why this silence has transpired. After an appropriate length of time for allowing people to get over illness, get through a busy patch or simply enjoy other areas of their lives, I've tried to get in touch... only to be met with silence. I've tried asking if everything is ok... silence. When I ask if I've upset them, I sometimes get a response. That response is, "You've not done anything, I've just been busy." Only to be followed by more silence. So, if I hadn't done anything wrong, wouldn't my concern prompt the person to not leave contact between us so long next time? No. They carry on responding to my contact with silence.

So, I eventually 'walk away' as it were, feeling that an issue had gone unresolved.

Why do people allow this to happen?

This is my theory: I think that people find it difficult to address problems and find it easier to remove this person from their lives by ignoring them and hoping they'll 'take the hint'. But very often, they're not prepared for that person to not only 'take the hint' but to question why they've reached that decision, so they end up lying to the person and becoming defensive at their question.

The person who was being ignored then feels doubly awful. Awful for firstly being ignored and not knowing why, then awful for upsetting the person by trying to resolve the issue.

So, what should you do? Walk away without question? Some people can do this but then there's people like me who fear that if I did that, then sometime in the near future I might receive an angry communication from a friend demanding to know why I was ignoring them! What do I say then? "Well, you appeared to be otherwise occupied so I thought I'd give you space." ?

It's a difficult dilemma, isn't it?

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks for taking the time to read and reply.

Previously known as Im_in_Chains

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