how do i overcome my fear of gettin serious with a bloke?

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how do i overcome my fear of gettin serious with a bloke?

Postby kelgirl » Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:02 pm

my problem is the fact that when it comes to anythin remotely serious with a bloke i sort of freeze up and can't handle it. I'm even like it with one of my best friends. Although he's a friend, with all my group of girls I'm pretty sure we all get the impression he may want more than friendship with any one of us. If i dance with him I can't be serious for fear that something might happen. I end up doing something jokey when he is being totally serious because its the way i get rid of my nerves. I hate the fact that I'm like this with guys and I don't think it would just be with him either. Even if I liked someone myself I wouldn't be able to be serious with them because I wouldn't know how they felt about me so wouldn't want to risk appearing like I want them and being rejected. I think it might be fear of rejection. How do I get over this?

Sorry for the rambling

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Postby phoebe » Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:52 pm

Although he's a friend, with all my group of girls I'm pretty sure we all get the impression he may want more than friendship with any one of us.

As you say above, if this guy seems like he would want more from any one of you then he doesn't deserve you.

I know its a cliche but when you meet the right bloke it'll all flow naturally. I'm 25 now and all my life I watched my mates get touched up on dancefloors, have casual sex as they please. And then feel used and get talked about, 1 got pregnant at 15, 2 have had pubic lice and herpes which they still get flare ups of. I just never felt comfortable with that and did used to freeze up when it came to blokes, I think it was always in the back of my head I didn't want to get used.

I then started to feel I'd got left behind and felt unexperienced and had the odd fling but no man has ever made me feel more comfortable than the man I'm with now. I was friends with him for a year so he knew me for me and thats what will make you feel relaxed. Work on being friends first and look after precious you and all will be well.
Last edited by phoebe on Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Kurly_K » Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:56 pm

i have to agree with Phoebe on this one. do not be in a rush to get a boy friend, your body is probably frezzing for a reason. mayb if you do not feel uncomftaboe at the time an r v peed off with yourself, im sure your mind knows best.
its important to be comftable because thats when you will have the most fun, dont force yourself to be with someone for the sake of it.

it will happen in time, just enjoy being you for the moment like Phoebe says and when you stop looking, someone wil find you :D
hope that helps you
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Postby gatekeeper » Mon Jun 26, 2006 5:56 pm

Like the others have said, when you meet the correct one, your body will move naturally so the other person will get some "signals."

You'll meet someone who won't make you freeze... :D
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you and I wish on a star that somewhere you are thinking of me too...
So I wait for the day and the courage to say how much I love you
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Postby JennaXXX » Tue Jun 27, 2006 1:06 pm

Its only natural that you feel this way if you dont fancy these guys that you are coming into contact with! Dont worry yourself, I think its great that you obviously have so much pride and self-respect for yourself =D>
When the right guy comes along you will be fine! xxxxx
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