I can't leave work at work

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I can't leave work at work

Postby LME79 » Sun Jul 02, 2006 11:36 pm

hey all,

Recently I acquired the job that I have always wanted. It's in the media and is quite stressful at times, but I was expecting that and I prepared myself as much as I could for it.

Anyway, I am fine with the stress at work - I sort of soak it up and use it as an incentive to get things done. To be honest, I've always 'thrived' on stress as it kept me motivated but recently I've found that all I talk about is work. Friday is a particularly busy day as it's filled with meetings, figures, profit margin talk blah blah blah plus the actual job (!) and I'm usually at work until about 7/8pm to finish things that need doing BEFORE Monday morning (otherwise I'd get in trouble). As I say, I was prepared for this - I was warned in the interview, I was warned in the second interview and I don't mind the hours HOWEVER when I'm sitting on the train on the way home all I can think about is "did I do this? Did I do that?" (30 minute ride home) and it's torture, especially if I remember something that I didn't do. It tortures me until Monday morning...nothing bad happens, it's just extra hassle that I have to deal with which is actually no big deal but the fact that I know this means that I shouldn't stress over the weekends. I feel sorry for my boyfriend as whenever he asks "good day at work?" over a cuppa I just come out with this torrent of stress.

The point of it lies here - I am, admittedly, a perfectionist when it comes to work. I hate cutting corners, I hate not finishing tasks up to standard and so whenever I feel I've underperformed I have a tendency to worry. No-one has ever pulled me up on underperformance ever, I think probably because I have such high standards but I pull myself up on it constantly....surely that can't be good? Help me stop worrying so much! Now that I have this job I want to be able to enjoy my evenings and weekends! FYI, my core hours are 9.30am to 5.30pm. I usually come in around 9am and leave around 6, half 6.
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Postby umistgirl » Mon Jul 03, 2006 11:53 am

(Well done on getting the job LME)

The 30 minute train ride home here is your key. When I was on placement I was the same as you- working late (often till 8-9pm) because I was a) a perfectionist and b) didn't want to let the others down. However I've never brougth my work home with me...the reason? I had a long-ish commute. When i got in the car, I'd switch up my music and sing all the way home (I must have looked like a moron!) and by the time I got home I was de-stressed. If I was on the train I'd buy a paper/mag so I could read something (often something meaningless and trashy, i didn't want to be intellectually stimulated anymore for that day!) and when I got home and the fiance asked how my day was the first thing that i'd tell him about is about how Britney Spears should ditch her waste of space husband and how posh spice is far too thin and she really shouldnt wear leopard print. Then once my fiance was TRULY bored to tears with trashy celeb gossip I'd get the picture and not really bore him anymore with work stuff.

Maybe you could also try, when your bf asks about work, listing all the positive things that happened at work first. The bad things then wont seem so 'bad' then and you'll feel better about it.

If your head really wont stop reeling. As soon as you get on the train (before you pick up Hello! magazine :wink: ) get a post it note and write down all the things you need to do on Monday and you didn't do today then put it in your handbag and dont look at it until Monday. My fiance does this a lot (although he doesn't use a handbag!), it helps him remember what he needs to do without having to carry it around in his head and worry about forgetting it.

Well done on the job again

p.s. from one fellow perfectionist to another- there's nothing wrong with perfectionism :wink: , at least you have pride in your work.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
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Postby JennaXXX » Mon Jul 03, 2006 12:53 pm

Theres some good advice there. Its difficult to strike a balance at times between work and play!
I think its a great idea to write down everything you need to do for the next day, then put it away and concentrate on relaxing for the rest of the evening.
I heard this great saying as well once which goes along the lines of people never saying that they wished they had worked longer hours in their lifetimes but insteard wishing they had spent more time with family and friends.
Its good to be passionate about your work but you need to relax as well otherwise you will end up ill. xxxxxx
Whatever life throws at you, smile, hold your head up high and be the best you can possibly be.
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Postby kitten » Mon Jul 03, 2006 3:43 pm

Well done on getting the job.

I know how you feel, I wake up in the middle of the night, oh did I do this, and prioritising my in-tray. I'm off sick today and still thinking about work!!

I used to commute to work and took a book on the train with me, it is a good way of taking your mind off work.
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Postby LME79 » Wed Jul 05, 2006 10:12 pm

Thank you so much for your replies. I've managed to adopt a more relaxed attitude at work and I've also started to take some light hearted reading on the train so I can easily 'fall' into the story. What can I say, it works! Before I know it I'm at home and can relax for the evening.

My boss also said that I am "doing a fantastic job" so I'm dead chuffed :oops: :D That's given me real peace of mind as if the big boss says it, I must be doing something right!

Thanks again xxxxx
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