Orgasm help...

For any type of physical problem.
Forum rules
NEW USERS HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEIR FIRST POSTS TO BE APPROVED BY AN ADMINISTRATOR. Rules | Essential Information | FAQ | Support | Twitter

Orgasm help...

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:34 am

Well here goes;

Me and my bf have been together almost two and a half years now. In that length of time he has never given me an orgasm (I’m not complaining by the way), but yesterday he got really upset about it, and I would like him to be able to give me one, for his sake and not mine. I don’t really agree with the whole masturbation thing, I have tried a few times but always gotten bored after about 10mins of getting no where. My bf can hit the spot, through oral and rubbing etc but within a minute he has lost it (also my experience). We’ve tried different positions and stuff but nothing works. I really don’t want to fake one for him, because I don’t want to lie to him.

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions to try please? I know people say give it time but it’s been 2 and a half years. I mean I’ve been getting there before but never a full one, because people always say you just know when you have had one…and I am pretty sure that I never have done; I’ve gotten tingly and shaky a couple of times but mostly its just the feeling of needing to pee…I always go before sex so its not like its that.

Thank you.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby snail » Tue Sep 30, 2008 5:38 pm

So, Dipsy, have you never had an orgasm before at all, with anyone or on your own?

If so, then masturbation is usually the way to go - exploring your own responses in private until you know what you like. Have you tried a vibrator? The traditional rabbit-type ones are very good, I'd be amazed if any woman could resist them!

If you really want to involve your boyfriend, he could maybe use one on you, and give you an orgasm this way?
User avatar
snail
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4347
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:59 pm
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Gender: Female

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:39 am

No snail never.

I haven't tried a vibrator because I live at home, and no matter where I would hide it I am SURE someone would "accidentally" be looking for something and come across it!
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby lilmissblonde » Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:12 pm

Generally, doggy style doesnt hit the right spot. As you need to stimulate the clitoris area. Doggy is good for hitting the A and G spot. I recommend you on top, grinding against his pelvic bone, if that doesnt work, then him on top with you with your legs slightly closed, and him going slow and deep. Again its to do with pelvic bone.
Im not one for masturbation, doesnt work for me personally. But i have heard that maybe getting silk, or a fabric you dont have normally as underwear, and using that for a while. Different sensations and all that.
~ I wish I were a glow worm, as a glow worm's never glum, 'cos how could you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum! ~
User avatar
lilmissblonde
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:59 am
Location: London

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 01, 2008 2:49 pm

ok get yourself a breif case or make up box that locks and keep the key in your purse or on a key ring you always have with you when you leave the house.
Then get that rabbit. They really work but make sure you are really relaxed when you try it
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby snail » Wed Oct 01, 2008 7:38 pm

Bel Bel's right - keep the rabbit somewhere that you can keep locked. Try it on yourself when everyone's out one day (they make a noise).

You need to learn what you like, and then keep refining it from there. It's not easy to get a partner to please you if you don't know yourself what you like.
User avatar
snail
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4347
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:59 pm
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Gender: Female

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:24 am

I know you are both right. The locked box would be good but then "if" it was "stumbled upon" then there would be questions.

I don't generally get any time at home alone either :-(, the only time I would is at weekends when I normally stay at my bf's, or once every 3 weeks between 7.30am and 8am - when I normally travel to work. It may sound like I'm being awkward but the time at home isn't really an option.

I'm not overly bothered to be honest, it's not bothering me (yet), but I'd like to for my bf.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby snail » Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:44 am

Well, I still think you should be able to have a make up bag or briefcase or something that no one will "stumble upon" - you deserve to have some privacy, no one should be going through your things.

But if you really feel that's a no-no, you can get vibrators that look like other things. For example, I have one which looks like a lipstick, and as you take the top off and twist the "lipstick" it turns into a vibrator. You really wouldn't know AT ALL that it's not a lipstick unless you tried to put it on your lips - it's that good. There are other types like this too, because there's a market for hidden vibrators. Have a look around sex toy websites. The only thing is, these aren't quite as good as the rabbit types at stimulation, but at least no one would know what they were. The lipstick one you could even keep in your make-up bag in your hand bag - no one would know in a million years what it was.

Regarding using it, it sounds like you might have to use it when you're with your boyfriend, as you don't have any other privacy. But hopefully he'll want to help you experiment.

If all else fails and you really can't or don't want a vibrator, you can experiment with the back of an electric toothbrush (carefully!), or directing a showerhead at your lady bits :oops:

I assume you and your boyfriend have tried oral sex, because that is usually the best way for a woman to have an orgasm first time? Perhaps encourage him to persist with this. If you do, I would think you must get there eventually.

With orgasms (at least with women anyway, I don't know about men) you have to almost 'learn' how to do them, so you need to experiment with your responses.
These mountains that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

Najwa Zebian
User avatar
snail
Site Admin
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4347
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 8:59 pm
Location: Your guess is as good as mine.
Gender: Female

Postby liddy » Fri Oct 03, 2008 11:45 am

Ok, as someone who never had an orgasm for years with ex husband for whatever reason, I can say that you will definitely know when it happens. For me it has to be oral sex - Everything else is fantastic but only oral sex will give me an orgasm and even that takes time. Its so helpful when you have a partner who's willing to be patient and take time. There isnt just a magic button you can press ! Well not for me anyway! And yes, you do need to learn how to get it right sometimes, you begin to understand just what it is that makes it work and it becomes easier. I guess its different for everyone. Good luck.
User avatar
liddy
Regular Visitor
Regular Visitor
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 11:22 pm

Postby angiepangie88 » Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:22 am

Personally i found masterbation has helped a lot...u may feel dirty and uncomfortable at first but once you find the right spot you'll really enjoy it...

as for the peeing feeling senstation...easier said than doen but you need to push through that feeling that means ur on ur way to an orgasm...if you went to the toilet before like you said you do everytime then you wont wee during ur orgasm!
angiepangie88
Just Landed
Just Landed
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:19 am

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Oct 29, 2008 10:19 am

Oh I know angiepangie I can get to that feeling all the time but by the time I am there my bf is already there and finished up. Even if he gives me oral before hand; he gets too excited doing that so he's ready in a few minutes. :-S
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby Bel Bel » Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:59 am

then he will have to learn patience and continue to give you attention until you have caught up with him
Or take turns having sessions that are all about the other persons needs
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:14 pm

Sounds good Bel-Bel but he normally gets over excited even when he is gives me oral. It'll work out eventually.
User avatar
dipsydoodlenoodle
Long Term Lodger
Long Term Lodger
 
Posts: 3928
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2008 4:24 pm
Location: England
Gender: Female

Postby Bel Bel » Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:03 pm

ok then he should be ready to try again in about hal;f an hour, that should give him plenty of time to get a tongue ache - if you know what i mena :lol:
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

Cheap Pandora Charms UK

User avatar
Bel Bel
Fully Fledged Flatmate
Fully Fledged Flatmate
 
Posts: 6758
Joined: Thu May 10, 2007 1:58 pm
Location: Hertfordshire
Gender: Female

Postby whoopsie » Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:17 pm

Yeah, I would suggest he has his first and then will last longer when you have yours!! :D
=^..^=
User avatar
whoopsie
Familiar Face
Familiar Face
 
Posts: 499
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 8:13 pm
Location: Surrey
Gender: Female

Next

Return to Physical

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests