Where has my sex drive gone?

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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:56 pm

I am :)

I have spoken to him about it - I am one for wearing my heart on my sleeve and am close to my boyfriend, so he knows how I feel :) I keep moaning that I need to lose weight, but I find it so difficult to cut back. I know that moaning about it won't get me anywhere though.

To be honest, I don't actually turn him down that often, we've just fallen into a pattern of doing it less and I think he kinda picks up on when I'm not going to be up for it anyhow, so won't try
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby innocent » Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:38 pm

are you on the pill?? it seriously effected my sex drive to the point that i was wondering if there was something wrong with me..and i never properly realised the extent of how much it effected it until i came off it and the drive returned almost straight away.
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby rufio89 » Thu Nov 12, 2009 8:44 pm

Agreed with innocent! My sex drive was very low when I was on my old pill (and I was moody and miserable!!), and when I came off it it returned to normal very fast. Now Im on a different pill and it doesnt affect my mood or my sex drive!
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:51 am

I'm on Microgynon and have been since I was 16 (I'm nearly 25 now), so I don't think it's that as nothing has changed and I used to have a high sex drive :(
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby Bel Bel » Fri Nov 13, 2009 11:39 am

You're right dressing up is more for him than you to some degree.

What about getting him to run you a bath, candles round the edge, play your favorite romantic music, glass of wine whilst your soaking and then getting him to give you a nice massage. Bascially a bit of pampering before even trying to get started.

Is there any fantasies you have that he can help you fulfill - sex in a lift, on a rug by the fire etc
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:47 pm

That might work if we had a bath - we only have a shower cubicle, hehe!! Anyway, that's irrelevant really, I get what you're saying, I might suggest something similar, though I feel it would be much nicer if he just did that without me asking him to. I know he's not a mind reader though.

There are a few, but he's not that keen on some of the things I am (or was!) into e.g. sex outdoors (not so much now, it's too cold!)
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby kerrie24 » Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:15 pm

[quote="RagDoll"]That might work if we had a bath - we only have a shower cubicle,

Erm :oops: that can be fun too hehehe.
Sorry to butt in by the way, I havent posted on here for aggeess.
I think you are maybe in a rut after all the time youve been together.We went through this at the beginning of this year and to be honest we just came out of it after a while.we had tried nights away,time together,time apart,etc but I couldnt say anything in particular helped.Sometimes your sex drive just peaks and dips for no reason and it seems to happen to women and men at different ages so in 5 years time he might go off it :-?
That is no help whatsoever I know,just my point of view lol
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Tue Nov 17, 2009 10:07 am

Hi Kerrie, yeh you're probably right - I know I can't expect to be raring to go all the time (hahaha), it's just that I've not really been as up for it as I used to be for a long period of time. The last couple of times have been great though, so hopefully things are improving?? I just hope it continues like this and I don't slip back into not being bothered. We'll see.
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby xsummerstars » Tue Jan 05, 2010 12:51 am

What about banning yourself from sex. Telling each other that it's forbidden them play sexy games to get you aroused.
Ann Summers.. if your in the UK do adult board games to put you in the mood, full of sexy suggestions. (Most adult stores outwith the UK will do similar ones) Maybe playing games like that whilst on a sex ban will get you revved up and when something is forbidden it's always more tempting.
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby yummymummy90 » Fri Jan 29, 2010 2:52 pm

Sorry to butt in! I haven't read all of the replies, so I hope I'm not repeating what other people have said!

I had the same problem for a while, I was all over the place with my sex drive for a while.

If this problem is purely physical, have you tried anything... naughty? (I'm trying to watch my words, because I know kids might read this) I would DEFINATELY recommend role play. Another thing would be toys, lubes and... films (if you get me). Or maybe try being in control, and I mean complete control! Tell him exactly what you want, place his hands where you want them and tell him if you want to stop.

Another thing you could try would be massage, a full body massage! Tell him not to expect anything though, and then if you don't want to he won't be disappointed, but if you do want to he will be happily surprised!
I'm full of these ideas (I love experimenting with sex!) so if you want to pm me I really don't mind. (I hope I'm not patronising you!) There is one thing that always guarantees an orgasm for me, but it is too explicit to put on here!! :oops:

Good luck! And remember the sexiest thing about a woman is her confidence!
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Thu Feb 04, 2010 11:05 am

Thanks to those that have quite recently added their suggestions :)

To be honest, I am still having problems with the whole thing and my original post was back in June last year :( It's really getting me down now as I used to have a high sex drive, but now I'm getting to the point where I feel like I wouldn't be bothered if I never had sex again.

Unfortunately, I don't think the problem is purely physical, I think it's more of a psychological thing. I'm half considering going for counselling as nothing seems to be getting any better (in fact, it's got worse) and I have no idea how to fix it.
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:42 pm

Well if it's getting worse I think you should get some conselling. You can't go on like this forever and the trend is a downwards one. Also your b/f won't be able to be patient forever at some point if you aren't showing him you doing somehting about it he is bound to get miffed
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Thu Feb 04, 2010 1:46 pm

Hey Ragdoll.

I'm sorry nothing seems to have imroved much.

But I just wanted to pick up on something someoe said up there ^^. Telling yourselvs you can't have sex for whatever reason (Been on your period for example) might make you want it. Knowing that you cant have something makes you want it more right?

When i'm not on, we have sex yes, but we may go a few days without having sex and we're not really bothered. Well, i'm not. I dare say Mini Mr. LemonJuice might have something to say if he could :lol:
But when i'm on, like I am now (Ignoring my topic a few days ago lol) I find myself wanting sex even more. Because I know I cant have it, i want it!!

I don't know how you would work it, maybe tell yourself that you cant have sex because of xxx reason. See what happens.

I do think seeing somebody professional may help too! :)
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When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby RagDoll » Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:27 pm

Thanks for the suggestion LM, but I've already done the no sex thing and it didn't make me want it anymore. I know what you're saying, as that probably would have worked for me in the past, but it doesn't bother me anymore. Even when I am on and know we can't it doesn't make me want it.
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Re: Where has my sex drive gone?

Postby snail » Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:12 pm

I know this is maybe not the nicest question to ask, but would you fancy sex if it was with other men? Or don't you fancy the idea of it with anyone?
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