Foreplay

For any type of physical problem.
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Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 10:55 am

If people don't mind me asking, what do you do for foreplay?

I'm trying to get my bf back in the idea of foreplay but he's clueless, I have ideas but I'd like additional ideas :)
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Re: Foreplay

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:12 am

Hmm! Well there are the obvious things e.g. touching and oral (oral being especially good in my opinion!) but there are also little things which help set the mood e.g. kissing up and down chests/tummies, licking nipples etc.

Having showers/baths together can be a turn on.

Handcuffing and blindfolding (not necessarily at the same time, though that can be good too!) I also like.

Even things like having a nice meal, lighting some candles, putting some music on etc. can be quite romantic/a turn on too.

I'm sure there are more I can think of, so I will update my post if I think of something else!!

Hope this helps?!
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:24 am

hmm

I always used to do the touching/oral and he never seemed to get the hint, so I stopped, recently I've told him what I want but he still doesn't seem to get it ](*,).

We've had baths/showers together but I get in a mood because I have to wash my hair all the time and he "gets in the way" - plus I can't stand still for a long time and I can't take heat for a long time without feeling like I'm going to pass out lol.

I'd be up for handcuffing and blindfolding but he doesn't "want" to be 'tied up'. I don't see the problem in TRYING it.

A nice meal etc wouldn't work because he lives in shared accommodation, his flatmates are idiots. They can spoil anything. Although ONCE in 3 years he made a 3 course meal with candles and everyone was out BUT we knew everyone would be back, we just didn't know when.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby rufio89 » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:28 am

I'd be up for handcuffing and blindfolding but he doesn't "want" to be 'tied up'. I don't see the problem in TRYING it.


Then make him tie YOU up.

Tell him to stop being so sausage lazy!
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Re: Foreplay

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:35 am

When you say he doesn't seem to get it re: touching maybe you can show him what you like? With regards to oral you're going to have to get more descriptive lol.

Haha that's fair enough re: baths and showers, it's obviously just not your thing. Though remember there's a difference between practical baths and showers when you wash your hair etc. to 'getting you in the mood' baths and showers which are more about touching each other, being close etc.

As Rufio said - get him to handcuff you if he doesn't like the idea of being handcuffed.

Wouldn't it work even if you went out for a meal somewhere and then came back, lit some candles etc?
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:40 am

rufio89 wrote:Tell him to stop being so sausage lazy!


hehe the naughty word filter makes it appropriate here hahahaha.

I suppose we've never had a "get in the mood" bath/shower...he just interrupts my space and I get annoyed (killing the mood lol).

I've even said with the tying up that it doesn't need to be "tight" and if he didn't like it he can say and it'll be fine to stop. I'll approach it again when I next see him.

RagDoll wrote:Wouldn't it work even if you went out for a meal somewhere and then came back, lit some candles etc?


It might but he's jobless the minute hehe. It's still the problem of his flatmates constant swearing and his brother stomping up and down the stairs ARGH (oh and now his neighbours stomping up and down the stairs coming through the walls).
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Re: Foreplay

Postby Skarlet » Wed Jul 29, 2009 11:59 am

Get him to give you a massage, using a nice non scented gel (i like the durex massage gel,) it promotes the touching that baths and showers do, but isn't quite as hard to do.

I have tried food in the bedroom before, it just seems to make things sticky and yucky, but maybe take fruit like strawberries and mango or whatever fruit you like and feed it to each other, rather then lick things of each other.

You tried games like monogamy before didnt you? what about the dice you roll that tells you what part to lick, or touch a certain body part?
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:22 pm

Yes we have monogamy. We've played it TWICE. He took it on hols and the once he mentioned it I said I didn't want to play (selfishly it was our last full day at the hotel and I said I wanted t enjoy it); so it's "my fault" we didn't play :roll: .

He did ask about playing it last weekend (I've been winging for months he never wants to play) I couldn't play - it was the wrong time *ahem* hehe. I was going to suggest it this weekend; so we'll see I suppose.

I got a nice massage on our anniversary (in May) and it was nice because (selfishly) it was about me, rather than him. But nothing since then, plus when he gives a massage or anything, when he comes to 'play' he gets over excited and it's over so quickly so it just seems pointless spending ages doing stuff for it to be "over" in 5minutes. I've mentioned before I'd like him to last longer, but he got quite defensive at the weekend and said he can't help it if he finds me too attractive :roll:; but I said there were ways he/we could try and he said "not without surgery" so I went on the net and googled it, I left the google page open for him to see and to click on or to look himself but he closed it. He might have looked since then in fairness, but we'll have words this weekend cos it IS bothering me now. Occasionally it's ok but not ALL the time.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby Skarlet » Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:27 pm

Even if he has come, it shouldn't mean that he has to stop pleasing you, then he should get excited again, and be able to start all over, and then he would last longer. Well that is what I like to happen.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:47 pm

Skarlet wrote:Even if he has come, it shouldn't mean that he has to stop pleasing you then he should get excited again, and be able to start all over, and then he would last longer. Well that is what I like to happen.


He still doesn't last long on the second go. I mean 5mins.

He also says he can't always go a second time because his 'little friend' doesn't always 'feel like it'. He said it just happens.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby Skarlet » Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:10 pm

I guess it is nice to know that he fancies you that much. There are other techniques, like stop and start, where when he gets close to coming then he stops, waits for the feeling to pass, but continues to please you in other ways..
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:12 pm

I was trying to think of a nice way to explain that actually skarlet. That was the only thing I could think of to help him.

Skarlet wrote:I guess it is nice to know that he fancies you that much.


Either that or a good cover...Surely the 'novelty' would wear off though ARGH!
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Re: Foreplay

Postby RagDoll » Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:25 pm

He just sounds really inexperienced to me - you need to train him lol. I know I said that half jokingly, but I'm not entirely joking - I think sometimes men (and I'm sure women) need things pointing out to them. Everybody likes different things and there's no way of knowing what turns the other person on without them telling you or just gauging their reaction to things (e.g. basically trial and error!).

At the end of the day, he's only going to get better if you give him pointers/tell him things you like etc. (which I know you've said you've started to do, but I think you should continue to do it some more!).

I don't think it's fair your sex life seems to centered mostly around him - he needs to find someway to satisfy you, even if that's not through sex (could be oral etc.). I agree with what Skarlet has said re: improving his 'stamina', but there are other ways he could and should please you too.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby dipsydoodlenoodle » Wed Jul 29, 2009 1:54 pm

RagDoll wrote:you need to train him


I've been trying.

He has said he'd hate to try or suggest trying something new and me being offended; but I said I'd rather him suggest something and me to say no than for him to assume I'd say no. I said I wouldn't be angry or anything but I'd he happy he'd asked.

He keeps saying he's not experienced enough, but how is he going to get experienced if he doesn't try ARGH! He says he isn't "brave" enough to do something - where it seems I seem confident. I did say I generally just try something and see how it goes first.

He's also extremelly in-experienced at oral; he's only tried it within the last 6 months or so when I actually pointed out that MAYBE if he thought about it I'd like stuff doing too. He always finds the wrong spot, I mean always, he'll do something then 10 seconds later go "it that nice"...so it kinda ruins it.
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Re: Foreplay

Postby kerrie24 » Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:05 pm

How about when your not actually doing anyting just say 'look if its not nice I would say so and its kind of off- putting when you stop and ask'.Also make sure you let him know when he does something well,and then he will do it again next time.At the end of the day this is something that only practice makes perfect,so its up to you to guide him.
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