How do you explain a phobia?

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How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:46 pm

I have a case of emetophobia (Fear of sick).

My daughter is very ill at the moment and I'm going mad. I want to help her so much, but I cant. I feel so pathetic.

Mr. LemonJuice just doesnt get it at all. He thinks i'm been silly and over reacting. But I cant explain it in a way where he will understand.
He's terrified of Snakes, so i tried to explain it that way. He just said "I would get over it" Which makes me think he's not that scared of them really.
I phoned him about an hour ago and asked him to come home and help me, he didnt seem to happy. But I apologised and said I was trying my best but I needed his help. He's gonna come back in about an hour, but i'm just so scared.

I want him to understand that how scared I am. How do I explain it to him?
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby ILoveChristmas » Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:39 pm

Hey there,

I think the difference between Mr Lemonjuice and you is the difference between a fear and a phobia. Someone who has a fear of something is temporarily unconfortable in the situation they're in, like if Mr Lemonjuice found himself in a room with a big snake, where someone who has a phobia of snakes would find themselves physically and psychologically affected by it, e.g. frozen with fright.

So it'll be hard for him to appreciate the kind of psychological affect sickness has on you, because not only is he not phobic about it, he doesn't even have a fear of it.

Maybe print off some literature about phobia and the effect it has on people. It can truly be a debilitating thing.
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:47 pm

He was really good with my Daughter the other nght when she got ill. He said I could go back to bed and he would sit up with her.

But now he seems to have taken the "She's been sick, she gonna be sick again, deal with it.. i have things to do" attitude. I fully understand that he has things to do, but I just want him to understand.

I'm alot calmer when my daughter is asleep, like she is now. But as soon as she wakes up i start panicking and stressing again.
I'll have a look at some information for him to have a read through.


I might get my best friend round to explain it too, She's seen first hand what I am like. We were out and someone V'd right in front of me and I just ran down the street screaming and putting my hands over my ears and shouting at her to get me away from it. She thought I was going crazy untill I told her. She fully understands now.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:50 am

My worst nightmare is happening right now.

Both Mr. LemonJuice and my daughter are ill. I've been pacing the Kicthen for the last 20 mins....
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby rufio89 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:34 am

I sympathise with the phobia lemonjuice and I know it's not as simple as 'get over it'. HOWEVER mr lemonjuice is right, she's only young and she's going to get sick again and like this time, mr lemonjuice might not be able to help.

Do you think it could be worth looking into some sort of professional help for this? Unfortunatly people get sick, you, your partner and your daughter, and it's highly unlikely you'll be able to avoid it forever. I don't know much about the treatment for phobias, but I will look into it and get back to you. Even if you can only get to the stage where you can just about deal with it if there's no alternatives, but you're still terrified would have a dramatic impact on your life...
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:36 pm

I know there is hypnotherapy (sp?). I have looked into some sort of treatment. Even if it still bothers me but I can handle it, thats a start. I think thats all I want. To be able to keep calm and deal with it.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby rufio89 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:30 pm

Maybe you should contact a hypnotherapist? Also maybe see what you can do at home in the meanwhile. Can you think of any reasons or experiences that might have triggered the phobia originally? X
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 4:11 pm

I know exactly what it was. But from what it was, its connected but not the same.

I had to have some teeth out when I was around 6 years old, they knocked me out for it. And when my Mum came to take me home, in her new car might I add, i threw up everywhere. And the majority was blood.
Ever since then I've been a paranoid freak about people been sick, even pretending! A few people lost me as a friend when they though it was funny to pretend to be sick for an hour.

Mr. LemonJuice really isnt well at the moment. And I have conflicting emotions. One side of me wants to run away, take my daughter and go to my Mums or Dads. The other side wants to go and comfort him and cuddle him. But I cant, i might catch it, he might be sick on me, in front of me, i'll hear it, see it, smell it. I hate this lol.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby whoopsie » Wed Feb 17, 2010 6:55 pm

Lemonjuice, i have emetophobia too. Severely. I know exactly how you feel. I can't really type a proper reply cos i'm using my mobile to come on here, but i will do tomorrow.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I just know that if i were you, i'd be at my mums house well away from it all. I guess you're worried about catching what they have too?
I can't tell you how to calm down or feel better, only you will know if or how to do that. Pm me if you need to. I know how bad this can be and how important it is to have support. Is there someone around you, a family member etc who can help you when your husband isn't around? Xxx
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:41 pm

Yeah I am a little worried about catching it. I'm not ill very often, the last time i was THAT kind of ill was December 2006 when i was pregnant. I'm one of those that would rather not be sick and feel rubbish for 3 days till it passes.

My daughter is ok now, her temp has come down and she's kept everything down since Monday night. It's just Mr. LemonJuice thats ill now. My Mum would usually come and take me to hers but we've been on holiday and today was her first day back at work. I couldnt really phone her.
I think he's over the worst of it, i'm now worried about bed time. I wont sleep if we're in the same bed for fear of...... something happening.

It's a very strange phobia to explain to people. I think the only people who understand are other Emetophobia sufferers.
I just really hate the conflicting feelings. Wanting to help the man I love while he's ill but i don't want to go near him incase it's on him and tranfere's onto me or he's sick in front of me.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby whoopsie » Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:58 pm

I suppose the good thing is that he's old enough to look after himself, unlike your daughter. Have you always been like this?
It is hard to explain, but very common which i found strange when i looked it up years ago.
My boyfriend accepts it, but doesn't understand it completely. He looks after me really well when i witness it and i go to my mums if his daughter is ill.
It's a completely rubbish phobia to have. You can't predict when it's going to happen. Unlike people who have needle phobia's cos they know when to expect it, ie when having a blood test etc. I've had hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and counselling, but still have it. My doctor thinks that desensitisation is the way to go but i'm not sure.
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:08 pm

I've been like this for as long as I can remember.
It's not very often either one of them are ill, but when they are it's like my world comes crashing down and everything has to stop so I can concentrate on staying away. Much more difficult when its your own flesh and blood.
Mr. LemonJuice does kind of get it, but he doesnt fully understand either.

All I want is to be able to handle it all. I want to be able to deal with it instead of running off crying and pacing the room. I'm gonna wear the floor out if he's still like this tomorrow lol.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby whoopsie » Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:27 pm

I know how you feel. I've kinda passed that stage now. I never want to be ok with it. It's disgusting. I wish it didn't exist.
Did your mum tell you off when you were sick in her car? I'm sure she wouldn't as it wasn't your fault. Not that i'm suggesting she's the reason you're like this, just that you may have misplaced associations or something. Did you have morning sickness when you were pregnant?
I do wonder if desensitisation works. I can deal with my cats being sick, even tho i don't like it but they're sick alot. I was told to watch video's on you tube but i don't think i could ever bring myself to do it. It could work for you tho?
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby LemonJuice87 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:06 pm

I dont think she did shout at me, I think it was just what came up. Its bothered me since then.

Yeah I did get morning sickness, but only twice. And at the time, I didnt know I was expecting so the Doctor and myself disregarded it as a virus. Typical really.

I dont think I'll be trying that one, I dont think I bring myself to watch it knowingly. Lol.
You know you're a mum when the thought of food shopping alone becomes exciting.

When you and your significant other are having an argument, just take all of your clothes off during the spat and stand there. Something is bound to happen!! =]
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Re: How do you explain a phobia?

Postby Millenia » Thu Feb 25, 2010 11:00 pm

Im kind of interested in this from a trainee nurse point of view - i've had to clean up lots of sick and other things....but only the smell really bothers me.
I just see it as whatever was in their stomach is now on the floor - Blood can be in it because you can burst vessels.

Is it because it's a body fluid? do you have fears of other fluids?

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