Sexual health leading to other problems

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Sexual health leading to other problems

Postby anon1471 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:02 am

This may be a long one but i need to write this down to at least make me feel a little bit better.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for just over 7 months now, he is perfect and for the first time i have fallen in love :oops: but there is a huge weight on the relationship that is all my fault. 1 month into the relationship i discovered that i had Anal warts (hpv) which i had mistakenly self diagnosed as hemorrhoids. Apart from being incredibly embarrassed and sick to my stomach i was terrorfied to tell my boyfriend and what his reaction would be...particulary so early on in the relationship but he reacted very maturely and has offered his support throughout the whole treatment process.

I have been undergoing treatment for just over 6 months now, i started with freezeing treatment which didn't work and have in the last month switched to a cream called Aldara which is clearing them up very quickly. Despite this i have discussed getting surgery to the Gum doctor to help get rid of them quickly and make the treatment work alot faster. This was really important to me particulary because of the sex in the relationship (Im a gay guy) and also because i am in my final year at university and have noticed a big impact on my grades whilst ive been dealing with it.

But recently...although i know that the treatment is working...I have been feeling incredibly down in the dumps. I love my boyfriend and without wanting to be too tmi i want to give myself to him completely...i want to feel attractive too him and i can't stop thinking that i should just finish it so that he can be with someone that he can be completely free with.

I feel worthless and weak....and i don't want to feel like that. I am really suffering big time...i know this sounds stupid and over the top but i can't stop thinking about killing myself. Maybe this is a huge over reaction but i am so tired...of dealing with the pain and the discomfort, of having a boyfriend i love that deep down must feel uncomfortable every time he touches me and finding it hard to find the motivation to get out of the bed in the morning and work on my uni stuff.

I don't know what to do. i can't stop crying please help ):
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Re: Sexual health leading to other problems

Postby snail » Thu Feb 18, 2010 12:20 pm

Welcome to ProblemPages, Anon, and sorry to hear you're so down.

It sounds like everything has just got on top of you a bit. I know you know in your heart this isn't a serious thing, but it's difficult to see that right now, and especially in the context of being in love for the first time, which is a whirlwind of an experience. I would think the pressure of university isn't helping either.

For what it's worth, your boyfriend clearly doesn't think this is such a big deal or he wouldn't be with you. And I'm sure he'd rather have the man of his choice, with anything that came with that, than someone else. And remember that anyone else he dated would have problems too, quite likely far more serious than this.

Is there anyone you could talk to about this and get some different perspectives? Family, other friends? Would a gay social/support group be any help, as they would understand more how sexual and romantic things affect you? But either way, it would be a good idea to make an appointment with your GP about it. It may even be that the medication for the warts has affected you mentally - you never know, so the doc is the first place to start. S/he will be able to assess you, treat you if needed, or refer you to a counsellor if necessary.
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Re: Sexual health leading to other problems

Postby Bel Bel » Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:43 pm

I agree with Snail

He has stood by your throughout this which shows he really cares, don't repay him by dumping him

Try and get some help to sort out your depression
Life is for living so live it to the fullest

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